Road Trip

As painful as road trips with Dean sometimes are, today's little jaunt to visit relatives in Council Bluffs wasn't bad at all. We listened to Prairie Home Companion on the radio on the way there. His comments about my driving took second place to his commentary on the trailer trucks and models of vehicles we saw on the highway. And on the way home, we were entertained by bluegrass music, rather than by Dean's limited musical repertoire.

As a matter of fact, he was on such a roll that when he started to read a church bulletin out loud on the way home, which I knew would be from cover to cover, I asked him politely if he could just read it to himself. His reply was "probably not", as he proceeded to read it out loud, just under the volume of the bluegrass music. I tried to keep my focus on the music instead of his bulletin monologue. I guess I could allow this one departure from the unexpected.

While there, we visited pleasantly with my cousins, even though I was worried that our cross conversations would send his behavior spiraling downward any minute. He does not do distractions well. But we kept him amply supplied with cookies and a soda, so he was able to overlook the fact that there was another conversation going on in the room besides his own. About the time I felt he might start repeating his stories, it was time for us to go.

Reflecting on our day, I see that I'm on a road trip to heaven. Am I focused on the right things as I whiz by others on life's highway, or am I criticizing the driving of others? Am I satisfied with the talents others have, or am I trying to outshine them with my own performance? Is my conversation with others always respectful and loving, or am I interested in drawing attention to myself?

When I think about it, Dean's struggles are really no different than my own.

Showing Your Thanks

I'm amazed and grateful for what different families bring to the Thanksgiving table and to the event itself. We are all brought up having holidays a certain way, but then we get married and find ourselves shocked that not everyone celebrates the same way.

For instance, when I was first married, I found out that not everyone had homemade noodles and ambrosia on their meal menu. But it was also a shock to discover how much more taste is packed into sweet potatoes, when they don't come out of a can. And the same for cranberries. I found out how easily you could make your own whole berry sauce and how actually divine it would taste with a small dollop of real whipped cream. These additions came from Dean's family, where we spent most of our holidays in the first years of our marriage.

Now that our daughter is married and we have been attending their larger festivities, I am learning other wonderful things about Thanksgiving. As much as a linen tablecloth, your best dishes, and even cloth napkins make it a special feast, the food tastes just as good, no matter what it's served on. As a matter of fact, it's rather nice to have the attention drawn to the people sitting at the table, rather than the table itself.

I can see from these observations that our church family will grow and get better, when we all bring our best to the table too and learn and adapt new and better ways to serve God. Let's keep that in mind as we approach His throne with thanksgiving this season. Show God your thanks by your offerings of service to Him.

whipped cream, cranberries sauce, and fruit salad (what a delicious combination!)

The Shirt

My usual practice isn't to be out shopping on Black Friday, but it just so happened that I found myself in a store today with my nephew, when I found a plaid flannel shirt that would be perfect for Dean. It is heavy enough, with its quilted lining, to keep him warm in the winter. And since he's been pretty coat-resistant these days, and yet saying he's cold in the house at times, this shirt seemed like the perfect answer for him.

When I brought it home, he liked it immediately with it's snaps for buttons. He put it on his T-shirt-bare frame, and even came up to me just before bedtime and said it might even make a nice nightshirt. Thankfully, he did take it off though before retiring. Had me worried.

God has offered me a special robe too. It will keep me warm in all kinds of weather. It's also a free gift. I can do nothing to earn it. He delights in seeing me so in love with His robe of righteousness that I will choose to wear it forever. It's a one-size-fits-all. Why would I ever want to take it off?

Notice his rolled-up sleeves. I don't know why I bother with tall sizes!

Remembering Me

We had a super good time with in-laws tonight. The Thanksgiving food was great and the visiting was lively. We met in a different venue--the community room of my daughter's apartment complex. So, the setup was a bit complex with multiple trips to transport food and other items.

As often happens, we vastly overestimated how much we would eat, so several families went home with leftovers. But that's alright. You kind of expect that with holiday meals. It just seemed more daunting, because of the work of transporting the food all over again.

I usually find myself taking pictures at family events like this, and consequently I am seldom in any of the shots, which is kind of nice, as I don't feel I'm very photogenic anyway. But today my husband asked to take a picture of me when my two granddaughters were sitting on my lap. It was just the kind of shot I would love to have, so I got up, went clear across the room and gave him the camera to get our picture. It didn't come out the best, but I was grateful for Dean, thinking of me not being in any of the pictures.

For a man with dementia, he remembers me. And I'm thankful for that.

That's me and the two girls, clear across the room. He just took it from his comfortable spot on the couch.

Cinnamon Factory

I am not a crafty person. Oh, I have creative juices flowing, and I think I have an eye for beauty, but my hands are not my friends when I work with just about anything. I try not to blame it on being left-handed. I just don't have much patience for material objects of any kind.

Case in point. Earlier this week, I thought on a whim that my daughter could use a break from motherhood so she could get her house cleaned for the holiday coming up. So I offered to take my two granddaughters for a few hours in the afternoon and work with making some little gifts to give to those coming for Thanksgiving.

We did ornamental, scented cookies made with applesauce and cinnamon. Someone had told me about them and they sounded easy enough for my handicraft-challenged hands. Plus I saw on the internet how you could make a heart with two candy canes and pour melted chocolate in them, and just let them harden in the refrigerator. Keep in mind, I wasn't just thinking of keeping it simple for two eager toddlers. It had to be easy for me too.

To make a long story short, I've spent hours this week tying tiny ribbons on these cookies and assembling some gift boxes to put them in, filling bags with the candy cane hearts, writing on tags and putting them on the bags. Not to mention having my house smell like a cinnamon factory all week as the cookies dry out.

I've come to the conclusion that my gift of patience comes easier with people than it does with things. So, this evening, as I labored over the finishing touches of this project, I have been conjuring up images of the smiles on my granddaughters' faces as they distribute the little boxes to their guests tomorrow. That will be reward enough for my madness.

Grandma's lil' workshop table

Giving a Care

With a board meeting over in Hastings this morning, I wasn't sure how I would find time to get ready myself and also help Dean get ready for his adult day program before I left. After helping him get his clothes and shoes on, I had to set out his clothes, medical folder, and towel for his bath aide and nurse who would come in the afternoon. Then make sure he had taken his pills, eyeglasses, cap, and cane, and had the day of the week changed where we post it prominently in the living room. I also had to remember to put an insulated bag out for the Meals on Wheels when it came. Then uncover and feed the bird, let the dog out, bring the trash can off the curb, and dress and try to get a bite to eat myself. But somehow it all fell into place and I arrived precisely at the scheduled time and place for my car pool ride to a Brain Injury Association meeting in Hastings.

All this activity reminded me how thankful I am that I don't have a regular daily job I have to go to. So many employed caregivers struggle with this additional activity every day. People don't have a clue what is involved in taking care of someone else, whether it's an adult or a child with special needs.

All caregivers need to feel supported and appreciated. November is the month to do it too. This is National Caregivers Month.

Romans 15:1 says "We then who are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves". Who among us are fulfilling this Christian mandate more than caregivers?

Focus on the Volunteers

For three days this week there is a Center for People in Need in our community that dispenses holiday food and goods to needy families. I went there today to see what kind of holiday cheer they could offer two old, disabled seniors on a pencil-thin budget. Fiscal difficulties are definitely one of the major problems reported by caregivers. This one included.

The first thing you notice, as you drive into the parking lot, is how many hundreds of low-income people are looking for something special to offer their families this Thanksgiving and Christmas. The parking spaces were filling up fast, and the place was overflowing with vehicles. Then, the lines of people inside and the waiting required because of the streams of people pouring in convinced me that there are more low-income people than I had realized in our town.

I didn't just notice the people there getting things though. There were also many smiling volunteers, who were valiantly and tirelessly distributing the items. I tried to focus on them, because it's so easy to become judgmental when you are sitting there "people-watching" in a place like that.

I was tempted to think that some of the "needies" there certainly didn't appear to be lacking in material goods. Take that young mother with the expensive looking cell phone, whose child was in an obviously top-of-the-line stroller. But you know, she may have downgraded from her internet connection at home and is reduced to the cell-phone kind only now. And I've seen nice strollers at garage sales too, so I suppose I can overlook that expenditure too. Personally knowing a young mother who fits this description exactly helped me overcome my temporary lapse into judgmentalism.

From now on, I'll definitely focus on the volunteers instead. ;-)