The Mystery Whistler

As many married folk have been known to do, we have accused each other of snoring during the night, with expected denials by the accused party.

Last night was no different. Once again, just as I would be about to drop off to sleep, I repeatedly found myself awakened by an annoying whistling sound that just had to be coming from one of Dean's famous snoring episodes.

Curiously enough he would stop whistling the minute I woke up, turned off my bi-pap machine, took off my nasal mask, and began to ask him to stop making the noise. After about the third time, it began to dawn on me that my nasal mask must have been losing its "seal" and causing the offending whistle. Dean had informed me that sometimes I whistled in my sleep, but I naturally didn't believe him.

Jesus' plea came alive for me: "Judge not...why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?" (Matthew 7:3) For me it would be "why do you accuse your husband of snoring, but do not consider your own annoying whistles?"

Even caregivers need to take their eyes off others and look at their own needy selves for a reality check now and then.

Machine that gave me a whistle and a laugh!

Wearing a New Hat For a New Year

We weren't visited by angels Christmas Eve, but it was close. Our two angelic granddaughters, accompanied by their mom and dad, came over to share a supper and gift-opening time with us. I love planning and preparing a meal for more than just Dean and I, so that was a special treat for me. Even if it was just "haystacks", or "walking tacos", as some call them.

Our entertaining schedule has been light for many years now since Dean's accident. Tight finances, coupled with Dean's low capacity for crowds and distractions, has put our hospitality ministry on hold. So, I was really excited about having family over that night. There weren't a whole lot of gifts to open, but enough to whet the kids' appetites for Santa's gifts the next day.

And speaking of appetites, Dean's been having a raging one recently. For Christmas he got some potato chips, two bags of M&Ms, and chewing gum from the granddaughters. We all (except me) thought he'd make them last, since I mostly try to keep him away from calorie-loaded treats. But they were all gone by the end of Christmas Day. (Except for the gum...because he couldn't remember where he stashed it.)

The one gift he got that night that will last was the new cowboy hat they gave him. It is a great improvement over the old battered one he was wearing.

Christmas, coming right before the New Year, is the perfect time for replacing the old with the new.

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." II Corinthians 5:17

May we all look forward to a New Year in Christ.

He's still not ready to retire the old hat, however. Guess I can't blame him--looks like it's got some history!

Following His Directions

The light snow we got last night and this morning set my mood for some Christmas baking for the neighbors while Dean was gone to his day program. Actually, I had this baking scheduled anyway for today, but the snow just made it seem more appropriate to the season.

I ended up making three batches of fudge, only two of them were planned. They were very easy recipes with simple ingredients (my two criteria for baking and/or cooking these days). First some chocolate fudge (first time using the microwave method), and then I made some peanut butter fudge, using the stove. The peanut butter fudge set up so well, compared to the chocolate one, that I decided to do a makeover with the second bag of chocolate chips I had on hand, with much better results.

It was my own careless disregard of following the exact directions the first time that caused the first fudge failure. And although the second one wasn't as firm as the peanut butter variety, I was much more pleased with the final product.

This was a reminder to me of the wisdom of following God's exact directions when it comes to my life. The closer I follow His recipe, the more satisfying will be the outcome.

Birthday "Boy"

This has been an unusual birthday year for Dean. Number one, he admits that he doesn't know when he's looked forward to his birthday so much (on December 4). For months now, he has been counting the months, then days, then even hours, reminding all his family and friends that it was getting close. And it's not even a big-zero event yet (waiting for that one next year--the big 7-0).

Not surprisingly he woke up at three in the morning on the day of his birthday and I heard him softly singing "Happy Birthday" to himself! It certainly left me wondering what's come over this man. Is it just part of his dementia?

When I mentioned that perhaps he was experiencing a second childhood and reliving what a birthday felt like when he was a kid, he said that his birthday was recognized growing up, but as he looks back on it, it probably was rather combined with Christmas.

Sensing his enthusiasm now though I made sure I baked him a cake from scratch. One of his favorites, a carrot cake. I was glad his birthday came on a day he attended Easterday, his day program, so he was able to share the cake with the other clients there (almost like having a party).

The night before, I showed him my present. A new quilted flannel shirt that he was really needing to keep warm (a size larger than last year's, and it's almost impossible to get him to wear a coat these days.) I could tell he was anxious to show it off to his friends the next day.

After he came home from the day program on his birthday, I took him out to eat at a Mexican restaurant he's been wanting to try. My daughter and our two granddaughters topped his day off by surprising him when we got home with a visit that included a beautiful neck scarf, a candy bar, some M&Ms, and homemade cards and pictures.

To make the day even more special, my sister called him that night and he gave her a minute-by-minute account of his special birthday. I was amazed at the childlike nature of his birthday enjoyment.

Seeing the difference in his birthday enthusiasm this year made me stop and think about my looking forward to the Second Coming. Am I as anxious for that event as I should be? Wouldn't Jesus love to see a little more childlike excitement on my part in looking forward to it?

Christmas is nice for celebrating Christ's birth, but shouldn't the Second Coming be with the same holiday spirit? I wouldn't want God to feel shortchanged and not get the celebration that He deserves.

His new shirt (with hoodie)!

A Meal Made in Heaven

So nice to be invited out for a Thanksgiving dinner with family this year. With Dean's raging appetite these days, I was hoping his holiday eating would not get too out of hand.

We timed it right to get there when it was about time to eat. He can make a meal out of appetizers, if you know what I mean. I dished up his first plate, since it was just easier in a small kitchen with buffet-style serving. This assured that his first helpings were sensibly sized and not mounded so high on his plate.

He got his own seconds of favorites after that, but I was glad when they started offering pie for dessert. I'm sure he would have just continued eating plate after plate of food until time for dessert. We made sure he had one of the first pie pieces cut.

We had just the right amount of visiting during and after all of this, but were the first ones to head for home. I understood others soon followed who had other family dinners to attend (in-laws).

It made for a real family treat, being with our daughter's in-laws. Just one big happy family gathering.

It reminded me of the type of family gatherings we will enjoy in heaven someday. But there will be no rush there, no accommodating service, no watching calories, sugar or gluten contents either. It will just all be good-for-us food, and especially tasty. (Almost like this one we enjoyed on Thanksgiving Day.) I can't wait!

in between bites

My understanding hostess Shari--on the left!

Broken Chair Fixes Man

I witnessed a small miracle this week. Dean resurrected some of his tools, dusted them off, and set about fixing a chair that broke down when he went to get up from it one day. It was an old chair we've had for years that had a lot of memories attached, so I can understand his motivation to get it fixed.

This is what my spare bedroom has looked like all week!

I've never seen him so enthusiastic about getting something done around here. (It took him almost a year to clean off his dresser. You can actually see the top of it now, so even with more clutter there than I'd like, it's a big improvement.)

And then there was the neighbor lady across the street. When a tree was hit by lightning a year ago (see my September 16, 2013 post) and ended up in her backyard, Dean offered to cut it up for her so she could have it hauled away. Dean, who made a living at logging, was thrilled at the chance of powering up his chain saw, even though Alberta and I were trembling at the thought of him falling and/or getting hurt in the process of such a physically demanding job. Unfortunately, his success was denied because the big chain saw, which had been sitting idle in our garage for years, just wouldn't come back to life for him.

After these rare attempts at handyman work, it really looks like he has reached a milestone in the furniture repair field. If his "glue" work holds, it will serve him many more years of happy TV watching in another room. (It helps the cabin fever to have two comfy places in the house for relaxation. We can actually "get away from each other" without leaving the house, if you know what I mean.)

If only he had lost 30-50 pounds while working, I'd be more confident in the lasting quality of this repair job. But at least he's still in the handyman game and I'm glad for that.

Isn't it great how God keeps us useful, even though we feel all used up? I pray that God uses me for every ounce of service He can squeeze out of my old body too.

The finished product!

I Am Tired of Me

Most of my posts on this blog are about Dean, who's mainly the caregivEE in the family. But being November, I think it only fair that I write about myself, the caregivER, because this is National Caregivers Month in our country, state, and heh, even our city recognizes it now.

So often people want to know how Dean is doing these days. And once in a while they include me in their inquiry. I think it safe to say that I have my health challenges too. Very seldom are caregiver lines that clear, especially when it involves spouses.

We both have our ups and downs. But as we age, the meaning of the term changes. In other words, it's harder to get up, and mighty easy to fall down. Physically, that is.

Mentally is the same though. For us, it's still easy when you're up in spirits, and hard when you are down. Just the opposite from the physical. We seniors are more likely to think of the physical first, that's all. Which is understandable, since aging forces us to listen to our body more.

What my body is telling me every waking moment of every day is, "You are tired." I know this is mostly my pulmonary system talking. Shortness of breath is a byword around here with my restricted lung capacity. I find myself saying it out loud all too often, between audible huffing and puffing. It's my mantra. "I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired." I even get tired of hearing it myself!

Well, I must say this has been one of the hardest blogposts for me to write. I'm tired of writing about myself already. So next time you will undoubtedly be treated to another colorful episode in the life of Dean. As he was quick to remind me as he was reading my eBook (which is still available on Amazon, by the way), "Without me, you wouldn't have anything to write about!" I'm seeing firsthand today how true his statement was.

Take a look at my eBook by clicking here!