Don't Wait

When I took Dean to the dentist the other day, I just had to ask the receptionist how much teeth cleaning and an exam would cost. I've been having mouth and jaw pain myself now for months and been worrying about whether it might be a dental problem, the start of gum disease or something.

At first I thought the pain might be teeth grinding or jaw clenching--a response to stress. Especially since it seems to come and go. I even changed from a full facial mask at night back to my nasal one for my bi-pap. But even that didn't help for long. Just trying to find my own solution. Something that won't cost me much, since my insurance doesn't cover dental, and only partial medical.

Well, the dental exam she finally gave me just revealed that I do have a lot of plaque, but only one small cavity to fill. Not bad for not seeing a dentist for seven years, I thought! She thought getting my teeth cleaned would relieve my facial pain, so I'll get them cleaned and the cavity filled this coming week. I have my doubts that it will solve anything, but will see. Thinking now it might be a sinus problem. There is a tenderness higher up on my cheeks now when it does hurt.

What does all this have to do with caregiving for Dean? Nothing, really. Except it does reveal my tendency to work things out on my own. To shy away from things that cost something (understandable though, when finances are so tight--not uncommon for caregivers, by the way).

But all this is informing my faith life as well. I need to turn things over to the professionals more. And my professional Spiritual Advisor would be God. Counting the cost has to go too. Sin, no matter how painful or intermittent it may be, has to be resolved. Jesus already paid the price. Life is too short to be figuring things out on my own.