Appreciation of Life

It's been almost a week now, and I haven't been able to bring myself to write about our anniversary, which was June 6th. Mostly, it's because I've been busy, but perhaps it just hasn't been on my mind as much as it should be, now that he's gone. My caregiver guilt showing up again? I think we all have it to some degree.

This is going into the third year since he's been gone...and life goes on. Thankfully, I've been able to fill my life, even with these abnormal times during a pandemic, with many worthwhile things.

I'm learning new things on my computer, and am connecting with far more people than I had previously. I still miss face-to-face time, especially with close family members, because I'm one of those sheltering-in-place, not-going-out-in-public seniors, for as long as this virus is out there.

My respiratory problems demand my vigilance in this. And even though some may see it as a lack of faith, I see it as an appreciation of life. Perhaps losing Dean has taught me that. My daughter has already lost one parent (never easy), and I want to do all I can to spare her losing another one before necessary.

Dean's memory lingers, however. I fondly remember our wedding. That, and all the other major events in our life together. So, anniversary or not, I'm thinking of him and missing him every day of the year.