Friday, April 29, 2016

My Roller Coaster Life

I occasionally hear from other caregivers, especially when they are struggling through some crisis. It brings my own difficulties into focus, and sometimes makes me feel a bit guilty for reporting mundane events in this blog.

But sometimes the mundane, ordinary things are what we like to hear. They are a true reflection of what caregiving is like. They give us hope that our lives will eventually return to some kind of normalcy. Even if that normalcy is unlike any others'.

To be honest, there are many small ups and downs with caregiving. But isn't life like that on the whole?
  • One minute, I'm doing a happy dance when they tell me on the phone that Dean has passed his compliancy requirements with Medicare and will be able to keep his C-PAP.
  • The next, I still trying to convince Dean that same night that he has to wear the C-PAP, in order for BOTH of us to have a good night's sleep.
  • One minute, I'm enjoying the company of friends we've invited over for dinner (something I've started doing again to satisfy my social needs).
  • The next, I'm trying to explain to a telemarketer that the 800-call my husband made to them was a "mistake" (his attempt to be social and connected), and to please take us off their call list.
  • One minute, I'm happily watching my two granddaughters wash dishes in my sink.
  • The next, I'm down on my hands and knees, trying to clean up the pancake batter that Dean has accidentally flung all over the kitchen.
Yes, life is just one emotional bump after another. They may not all bring us to the mountaintop or the lowest valley, but it's a ride nonetheless.

I'm determined to just sit down in my roller coaster seat, holding Jesus' hand all the way, screaming only at the scariest parts. That's all He expects.