Dean, the Talker

Tonight Dean and I went to a potluck supper, hosted by the Alzheimer's Association local chapters. There was an assortment of persons, caregivers, staff and volunteers, and those with dementia or Alzheimer's there, but I was nervous about taking Dean to a group that I was unfamiliar with. Taking him somewhere and not knowing the size of the crowd, the location of the church, or where the dinner would be held was an act of real bravery on my part, I must say.

I had an idea that Dean would probably refuse to put his Levis and street shoes on for the event, so he came in lounge pants, bedroom slippers, and  the T-shirt/bib, he'd been sporting all day. The "Elmer Fudd" style hat and plaid flannel shirt he's worn all week completed his ensemble.

I knew I'd have to draw some attention from his outfit, so I chose to wear my very bright red dressy blouse with shiny sequins. I've gotten compliments on it, so knew it was an attention-getter too. Besides, no sense in him getting all the limelight.

There were people our age and older, seated at some of the tables when we arrived. But Dean chose to sit at the table of the youngest-looking people there. The oldest turned out to be 26. Yes, before long Dean had asked them each their names and ages, if they were related, what they knew about Alzheimer's, if they drove, had boyfriends-girlfriends, what their dad did, and how many siblings they had. He continued to keep them entertained the whole evening. He kept trying to remember their names and guess their ages. Causing a chuckle at each failed attempt.

I was pleased that it was going so well, because the girls told us that their mother had passed away with Alzheimer's just last December. I hope Dean brought some sunshine into the evening for them. Dean's presence surely gave them some comic relief, in what must be a difficult stage of their lives, missing their mom.

Dean worries about not having a ministry, not realizing that he ministers every day to everyone he meets.

Support for Caregivers

I've been toying with the idea of starting a caregiver support group again. Nothing noble about it. I think I will be its biggest beneficiary. I could really use another night off once a month. I wouldn't expect many caregivers to be there; it's hard to get away every month. But it's just good to have an evening out yourself now and then to meet with others who share similar challenges. Or even who have shared them in the past. I still like to talk about caring for my parents, even though my focus is now totally on my husband. It's a good way to get inspiration, support, and affirmation from each other.

Even though we have a Father in heaven to support us, God knew the value of the human element too. That's why He sent His Son down to earth to reach us on the human level.

Attending a support group is not a sign of weakness. It's an indication that you know where to find strength, also known as support. And these days I gotta' find it anywhere I can.

Strength to Serve

This week has been crazy. I've been "laid up" with a bum foot, and although I've felt pretty helpless, having to ask for things as simple as a glass of water, I've also found that I'm still able to do the really important things I enjoy doing. I've visited with someone in the hospital via telephone. I've had online conversations with friends who have cancer and who have lost loved ones. Also proofread some articles for the church newsletter. Tomorrow I'll be "attending" a board meeting via speaker phone. Thank goodness for technology.

Tonight was the ultimate activity by proxy though. It was the night for our monthly brain injury support group meeting. I was supposed to facilitate the meeting, but that was impossible because of all the stairs to climb to get to the meeting room. Instead I asked the presenter to facilitate the meeting and she said that was no problem. Then, as I normally do, I called those on my list to remind them of the meeting. It was our month to bring refreshments, so I sent my daughter to buy them. Then my husband took them, along with the name tags, the sign-in sheet, and the group guidelines we read out loud at the beginning of the meeting. It honestly felt like I was right there, even though I had to stay home.

I am so grateful to the Lord for allowing me to serve Him, even in my not-to-be-desired feeble condition. It reminds me of the verse in Joel 3:10 "...let the weak say, I am strong." Tomorrow I will complain less of my weakness and know that it can and does lead to strength.

A Bump in the Road

Have you ever wondered sometimes if you had a friend in the world? There was a time today when I could not get in touch with anyone by phone and needed to share a particular heartbreaking circumstance in my life. It was just very important to talk to someone out loud about the event and there was no one who seemed available or appropriate to talk with about it. I ended up crying out loud to God about it and realized that I was never without a friend, because He is always available, appropriate, and most of all, full of wisdom and comfort.

I believe God directed me to call my daughter. We don't think to call our adult children sometimes, but there's no one better acquainted with our problems than they are. And you know they already love and care for you. It was the right thing to do. Fortunately, she was available and we had a good discussion about caregiving for her dad.

Then it just happened to be the night for our brain injury support group and I was able to connect with other caregivers and tap into their wisdom and courage. So, the Lord led me through a pretty trying day and provided just the right people to help me over this little bump in the road. Because I know that after putting my whole life in perspective, that's all it will be. Just a little speed bump to slow me down and make me take notice once again of all my support, especially from the throne room of God where in desperation I directed an urgent call for help.

It Is NOT Finished

Today seemed like a day of getting things half-done. Dropped my nephew off at work, but the roads were so slick, I let him off in front of the building instead of going into the parking lot. Then I filled out a form, but couldn't complete it without my husband's signature. Thought I was through paying bills, until the mailman came and brought more of them. I worked on my Sabbath School class notes for teaching this coming week, but didn't complete it.  This blog has even been sitting here awhile, half-done, while I made some more reminder phone calls for our brain injury support group tomorrow.

When I really stop and think about it, my work on earth won't ever be done until I draw my last breath. Isn't that how all of us operate? People talk about retiring, so their work will be done and they'll have nothing to do. But I just don't see that happening very often. People become very unhappy with nothing to do. We should rejoice that the work just keeps coming. It means we have a purpose for living.

Even God gave Adam and Eve something to do in the Garden of Eden. They were to dress and keep it. Even with no weeds, I imagine that was no small task. Thank you, God, for keeping me busy. Maybe tomorrow I'll complete at least one of my projects though. If I don't lie in bed, HALF-awake tonight!

Support Groups

This was the night for our monthly brain injury support group meeting. What always strikes me at these meetings is that if you were to visit our group, you could not tell who were brain injury survivors and who are their caregivers, in most cases.

Brain injury, just like depression, post traumatic stress disorders, and a host of other mental illnesses is one of the "invisible disabilities" we are beginning to hear about. Because of their hidden nature, unfortunately there is not alot of awareness and understanding of these disorders. Of all the support groups out there, this one seems to me to be invaluable to its members. Several in the group we meet with have been coming to it for years now.

Another support group we attend is one that meets weekly. These meetings last all morning long, and many of us even share a noon meal afterwards. The nice thing about this group is that our support isn't only found in each other, but in the great Creator God we come to honor at the meeting. The disability that ties us together at this meeting is called sin, an often invisible disability that we all share.