Our Daily Reference

We finally got a piece of mail today that I'd been looking for. For the past week or so, Dean's "meals on wheels" just didn't match up with the printed menu that they provided us a while back. I finally noticed that the menu was for Spring and Summer, so realized that we must already be getting Fall and Winter meals. We like to see what food is coming, and sadly, also sometimes need the food identified once it's here. So that menu in the mail was a welcome piece of information that promptly got posted in a prominent place.

Our lives change too, just like the seasons. We wonder why things that happen to us just don't match up with what should be happening at the time (why a marriage failed). Or why our feelings about events are so different than they used to be (consider the mind of a new parent). How we experience our relationships and respond to challenges in life are suddenly unrecognizable in us (as often happens to a caregiver), and we may flounder for a time in curious wonderment and question what life is all about.

Seasons are many. But the one thing that doesn't change is our need for a menu. And I can't think of a better menu for life than our Bibles. In it are examples to guide the young into making healthy choices, words of wisdom for adults to show them how to render loving service to God and others, and comfort and peace for the failing hearts of seniors. Yes, the Bible is one "menu" we should post prominently in our homes and use for daily reference. And it never changes with the seasons.

Don't Make Me Change

Dean went to the dentist this week to be fitted for a partial, in lieu of getting a couple of teeth on the bottom extracted here soon. I've forewarned them that he most likely wouldn't wear the partial, but since it's required by our insurance that he have it, we'll give it a try.

While we're at it, they're going to take a look at his upper teeth (the kind in a jar) and make sure they would fit with them, in the wild chance that he would actually begin to wear them again too. Fortunately, I have found both his partials here at home (he's been through two now) and will now take them in for a fitting.

The reason I am skeptical about his wearing anything artificial is the track record he's had with that over the last few years since his brain injury. First it was hearing aids. Got him the best, professionally fine-tuned device we could get to make up for some of the hearing he lost after the tractor accident. But he barely wore them one day, before retiring them to a box on his dresser. It's probably there still under the mountains of other items he has planted there.

Then there has been leg braces to help with his drop foot. The first two, I'll admit were very cumbersome and he absolutely refused to wear them. We got lucky with the last one though. It's streamlined enough that he hasn't minded it too much. Only wears it when he has to though.

I've come to the conclusion that it's change that Dean is so resistant to. His adjustment abilities are quite minimal. We did have one victory on this front yesterday though. He went to a barber shop and got rid of a bunch of head hair. Only wish he'd consented to having some facial hair removed too. But maybe someday I'll see that.

I hope I'm open to change when it comes to spiritual matters. It's vitally important to be open to new spiritual truth, while at the same time, resistant to false teachings. I just pray I will know the difference.

A Clean House...Not

Today has been a blur of household chores and dreaded phone calls, as most Mondays are. I make out the proverbial "to-do list" on Sunday, and then start digging in with all the things I want to accomplish in the coming week. Things like washing the bedding, sorting and organizing Dean's recliner "area", cleaning the bird cage, and scrubbing behind the kitchen sink. But these things are on top of the everyday, basic tasks of washing dishes, clothes, cooking meals, and emptying trash cans.

Any more, my shortness of breath never allows me to finish a "to-do list". I have learned to be content with a house that is never sparkling clean everywhere. But that has fleeting bright spots scattered about that I can be proud of and that gives it a look of orderliness that tricks you into thinking it's clean under the surface.

In a way, this mirrors my spiritual life. I will never have a complete and virtuous character that I would desire. But God has covered me with his perfect robe of righteousness. And with His touch of love, I can be perceived as having a form of Christianity that perhaps someone would wish to emulate.

How wonderful it will be to shed these mortal bodies someday and put on our glorious, immortal robes. Then I will be truly clean everywhere, even under the surface.

Change, For Better or Worse

I would like to write about a theme tonight that covers alot of the heart burdens I'm carrying around lately. That theme would be change. The changes that life brings that require no major decisions on our part, but the ones that are just handed to us without any preparation, training, or choice. The changes we're not sure we are capable of surviving.

Here are my current thoughts about change. My brother's family is seeking change in their job and financial situation. My sister's family is resisting change in their job and financial situation. The former wants life to get better; the latter wants to hold onto life as it is, so it doesn't get worse. Many other families can identify with these concerns about change.

Then there's the change with my husband's dementia. I'm not seeking it, of course. But I also know it's useless to resist it. My only concern is how to survive it. It's beginning to impact some major areas of our life.

The only thing that allows me to deal with these changes is how gracefully Dean is taking them. I know the Lord has to take major credit for that. Dean has always been a man of prayer. I compare him to David, who was said to have been a man after God's own heart, despite his tendency to fall away from Him at times. Dean has grown very close to God since his tractor accident, which gives me the most peace that any changes in the future will be God-ordained.

This also brings me to the conclusion that change isn't the real issue. It's how we relate to the change by constantly trusting God with the outcome. May His will be done. And after all, in the end the only change that will really matter is the one that will happen in the twinkling of an eye at the grand resurrection at Jesus' Second Coming. I Corinthians 15:51-52 Now there's a change I'm looking forward to.

Cousin Connection

I spent some special time with my cousins this evening. Three of my female cousins and I met and had dinner together. Later, it was so much fun looking through an old family album and recognizing our parents and aunts and uncles and other cousins. The album belonged to my parents, and it was nice to have them identify some of the people I wasn't sure about and share stories about when the photos were taken.

Having lost both my parents fairly close together in time, it has sometimes felt like I was floating adrift in a boat, without an oar or anything to steer with. Connecting with family members like this gives me a comforting, secure feeling that gives me direction in life again. Life can go on without my parents, even though it will never be the same.

Life changes for all of us, but that's O.K. It even happened to Jesus. One day He was working in His father's carpentry shop and the next day He was getting baptized and starting His ministry. Even that came to an abrupt end, when they crucified Him just three short years later. Mary's head must have been in a whirl, as she was one who saw Him through all these life experiences. How adrift she must have felt too. I'm sure she drew comfort from the disciples--much as I did from my cousins tonight.