A Big Change

Dean really has to be improving for me to take him where we went this afternoon. It was an Alzheimer's support group that meets socially at a small cafe near our house every month to have pie and just share each others' company. It was the first time we have attended, and those "first times" are always hardest for me, it seems.  Consequently, I have put it off for months now, simply because I wasn't sure if Dean would fit in, would stay awake, or would become frustrated with...well, almost anything.

But Dean did wonderfully well in interacting with the small group, all seated about two big tables, pushed together for the dozen or so of us. We were about half and half caregivers and those with dementia, so it was a perfect mix for some lively conversation and some excellent pie. Dean and I shared a sour cream raisin slice.

And Dean, of course, held up his end of the conversation well. The storyteller in him was rejoicing with his fresh audience, and it was clear to see that Dean was in his element, telling about heating our home exclusively with a wood stove (which we did in the 70s), and about his brother, a mason by trade, refusing to finish the fireplace in his own home, because the tax auditor told him a finished fireplace would increase their taxes too much. Yep, these brothers were definitely cut from the same cloth.

What gave me the courage to venture out with Dean today was a comment, relayed to me by the director of his adult day program. One of the staff there, who has known him the longest, made the statement that she sees the "old Dean" back. That was so comforting to hear. Up until that point, I felt like the only one noticing the change since we cut off one of his medicines, but it was great to hear it confirmed.

I'm really looking forward to the day when I really have the "old Dean" back. The one before his tractor accident, the one before sin entered his life, the one that he will have for eternity. "...for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed." I Corinthians 15:52

Candy Night for Dean

Finally some people have been coming to our door tonight to trick-or-treat. I debated whether or not to invite trick-or-treaters to the house this year by leaving the porch light on. But so far, the only problem is keeping Dean out of the candy. Having the dog in the bedroom, so her yapping along with the doorbell doesn't drive him to distraction, has helped.

I went earlier to our church to help with the Halloween event they had there called Light up the Dark, but let them know I would have to be home by dark, in case trick-or-treaters came to our house. Didn't want Dean going to the door on his own. I'm not big on celebrating Halloween, you understand. (See my blogpost on Halloween last year.) But the event at our church tonight was pretty special. It was a chance for children to hear Bible stories, and I'm sure some of them in the community don't get to hear them very often.

I'm glad I arranged for Dean to partake in Halloween at home though. He loves children and doesn't get to be around them much lately. The logistics were hard though. I had to hide the candy all week. And then make sure he was clothed properly when the kids showed up. And figure out what to do about the dog. But it has come together pretty nicely. After the one bag of candy is gone, I'll just turn out the light. Certainly don't want a lot of leftover candy sitting around. Not that it would sit long with Dean on the prowl for it.

Dean has often quoted the Bible where it says we must become like little children. And he says he's working full-time on that. Just hoping next year, Dean won't want to be going out trick-or-treating himself! I think I'll work on a list of friends with candy we can "visit" that night, just in case. Any takers?

King Nebuchanezzar, about to order the 3 Hebrews thrown into the fiery furnace. This young man, dressed up like a king, did an excellent job telling that story tonight!

Serve Me NOW

This morning when I got to church I went straight to my granddaughter's Sabbath School class to let the leader there know that I would be willing to tell the Bible story with the felts as part of their program. He had asked me a couple of weeks ago if I was interested in doing that, and I wasn't sure then. But after some thought and prayer, it made sense to go ahead and accept the invitation, thinking they would add me to their schedule for some future week.

Well, the leader was a substitute today and she asked if I would like to do it TODAY. Not quite prepared to be used so soon, I agreed and busily started pulling out the felts and looking over the story. I didn't notice till it was almost time for my story that my granddaughter had slipped into class a little late. For once she sat up right close to me, her teacher, instead of sitting on the fringes like she usually does. She looked so happy to see her grandma telling the story.

Not only that, but a little girl I didn't even know grinned at me during the fellowship meal later, and said I was her teacher. It was such a good, familiar feeling to be recognized by the children in church again. I have missed that since retiring from being a school librarian.

From this experience, I've learned that when God calls us to do something, even with just a simple request from a church member like I was given, don't hesitate to say yes. God doesn't call the prepared. He calls the willing. And you might be needed sooner than you think!

Jenna in red--last year's Christmas program--love them all!

Storytelling and Prayers

Another sign of Dean's increased dementia is the repetition of his old stories. After his brain injury in 1999, it was several years before we saw the "old stories" drop off and he would be able to give variation to his storytelling, making it more bearable for family members and those who knew him well to listen with more enjoyment. His stories now are taking on the flavor of a tape recording in his brain again that only allows him to tell his stories one way, word for word, and please don't interrupt him!

On the other hand, his prayers still have some freshness and eloquence, and I know he must be putting a lot of effort into his conversations with God. (Some of our family members are getting doubly blessed, by the way; but at least no one gets left out.)

I, on the other hand, must remember not to let my prayers take on that trait of being repeated monologues that God has heard from me countless times before. Let them be fresh and deeply thought out, as if I was talking to a very important friend. I know God is a polite listener, but I don't want to take advantage of His graciousness.

My prayers must be the very best I can offer, just like Dean's always are and have been. I thank God for a very spiritual husband. In that, he will always be the head of our house, the patriarch in our family.

on Father's Day, 2012