A Way of Escape

A few years back one of Dean's annoying behaviors was his taking that little sticker that comes on fruit and putting it on the toaster, microwave, or other place around the kitchen when I wasn't looking. By the time I noticed where it was, it usually required scraping to get the offending sticker off. I repeatedly asked him not to do it, but to no avail.

Then one day it hit me that all I had to do was remove and trash the stickers myself, while I was unloading groceries and putting them away. It was so simple. For years, I have been practicing changing Dean's environment, rather than changing Dean himself. This is one of the first lessons for family members of people with brain injury or dementia, but I had failed to apply it in this simplest of problems.

Lately, another problem has presented itself. Dean loves to feed the dog at the table, dropping her choice bits of the food off his own plate. She has put on a few pounds now and I know it's not good for her teeth, but I just can't convince him not to do it. Then I got smart and lately I've been putting the dog in a bedroom by herself while Dean's eating at the table. That will cut down on most of his "sharing" at least.

Both of these examples illustrate good strategies for resisting temptation of any kind. Removing yourself from the temptation or removing the temptation from you would work in most cases, but we fail to think of it in time. That's where prayer comes in. Ask God how to extricate yourself from the tempting situation. He says He will provide a way of escape. And that's exactly how it's done. Simple stuff and effective. But often we go years without thinking of a way to practice it.

Snow in the Morning

My life has slowed down considerably, as far as outside-the-home activities, since Dean's recent weight, sleep, and drug issues. To compound our isolated status, a blizzard is in the forecast for tonight. Everyone is making their final trips to the store, gearing up for the snow we've all been waiting for and dreading at the same time. The beauty of seeing new snow on the ground in the morning will make staying home worth it for awhile at least.

I look forward to another beautiful sight too. Seeing my loved ones on Resurrection Morning. Today, half out of boredom, I moved a bookcase from the living room into my bedroom. On it were pictures and mementos of my dear, departed parents. The caregiving for them was also marked with boredom and isolation--that time in their hospital room.

I'm tired of being isolated from loved ones, but especially from my Jesus. That will be the sweetest sight of all on Resurrection Morning. Jesus coming in the clouds to bring us all home with Him. And what a glorious, heavenly home that will be.

Minnie at her watchdog post--foot of my bed! She's such good company too!

Party, Party

Yesterday was a stream of visitors, dropping by to wish Dean a happy birthday. The most we had in our living room was five or six, but that was just about right for my attention-deficit husband, for the amount of time they stayed. He handled the extra population quite well. I've always been a fan of "come-and-go". It's the best option for entertaining, when you have limited floor space in your home.

Equally well-behaved was our little dog Minnie. She's as friendly as Dean when it comes to strangers. And she can bark out her wishes almost as loud as Dean too, especially when people show up on our doorstep. But she performed her announcing and welcoming duties very graciously the whole afternoon.

Minnie even provided us with some entertainment when her attempts to get in someone's lap ended with her falling in a small trash can by their chair. She noticed too late that the visitor had a plate of birthday cake already in her lap. The poor dog's look of embarrassment at her predicament was humorous beyond words. I was torn between running for my camera or coming to her rescue and getting her out of the jaws of the trash can. The rescue option won out. I couldn't bear to see her struggle very long, even though we were all getting such a chuckle out of her awkward situation.

I am also thankful we have a God who approaches our mishaps and trials with the same attitude. He can hardly bear to see us struggle, and I'm sure doesn't allow it any longer than necessary to accomplish His all-encompassing will. Either for our own salvation purposes, for someone else's, or for unseen-to-us heavenly objectives. We find ourselves occasionally unable to extricate ourselves from places where only the power of God can rescue us. I'm also glad God doesn't have to rush to get His camera. He's got it all recorded.

So sweet of her to pose for this picture later. This is exactly where she landed, instead of a visitor's lap!

Thanks so much for the delicious cake, Cheryl! Made Dean feel extra special. It was half gone in no time. And would have been all gone, if I hadn't said no to the granddaughters so much.

Youth is fleeting...where do the years go?

Our Last Surviving Tomato

The Last Tomato

We stopped watering our garden over a month ago when the city started enforcing watering restrictions. The tomato plants were about through producing and were looking pretty sorry and soon were pitifully dried up, with just a few marble-sized green tomatoes clinging to the vines.

Then after all summer with no rain we got a whole inch last week and when I let the dog out a couple of days later, I noticed something red on one of the tomato plants. I was shocked to see this one little ripe tomato survivor, just waiting to be picked.

It reminded me of the last days of this earth's history. The Bible says there will be a "time of trouble" (Daniel 12:1). Amos says in ch. 8:11 that there will be a famine, but not of bread, and not a thirst of water, but of hearing the words of the Lord. But a remnant survives, those with the patience of the saints. Revelation 14:12

So, I honor my patient little "remnant" tomato. It gives me faith and courage that God will see us through to the end, even through enormous trials and persecutions.

A Leap of Faith

My granddaughters were here for a few hours today, while their mother went to a doctor. Minnie, my little dog, was the center of attention for quite awhile when they first got here. The girls were both wanting to love on her so much that at one point, the dog made a flying leap from the chair where they were petting her over to the chair I was in. We're talking about a two-foot distance of being totally airborne to get to the security of my lap. It was an awesome leap of faith!

How many of us are willing to take a challenging leap like that to get to the secure arms of our Savior? How bad do we want to flee the clutches of Satan and get to the One who really loves us? I hope I'm brave enough to make that leap every day, if that's what it takes.

Calming the Storm

I just heard about another disaster to fall on a niece of mine. She has four beautiful little daughters, but the two-year-old recently survived a dog attack, with multiple stitches on her face. Very traumatic for the whole family, as they were all there when it happened. But then tonight, it seems that they have had a house fire, destroying a large portion of their house.

We wonder when trials like this just seem to keep happening. If you have a belief in God, these bad experiences can shatter your image of Him. Let alone reduce your trust in Him to protect and keep you.

I've come to the conclusion that even God can't (or more correctly, won't) prevent all disasters though, simply because this is a planet that has rebelled, and Lucifer is temporarily in charge of as much mischief as he can muster. Let's be careful not to blame God for Satan's handiwork.

God, on the other hand, has promised to be with us in hard times. He doesn't always calm the storm, but He is always there to calm us. The comfort and strength He provides may be just what we need to carry us forward, even after the storm subsides. I pray my niece and her family will look to God as the means to survive these ordeals and that they can soon have some normalcy back in their lives.

Circling Her Way Back Home

Very uneventful day for me, but for my little dog it was quite a romp. At least this morning for about an hour it was. That's how long it took for a neighbor to return our little fugitive.

We usually put her on a leash, but this morning I let her loose to chase a couple of rabbits in our yard, and after a few quick laps around the garden, she chased them right under our backyard fence and beyond. I guess she thought she was just doing a thorough job of alleviating our rabbits, and had no idea she was breaking the "stay in the yard" rule, until she was discovered and deported back to her "home country".

Her reaction to the deportation was to run back and forth in the house a few times. Was she trying to show her happiness and thrill for being back home, or was she sharing with me what she was doing out there in the outside world? In any event, she settled right down to her usual laid-back, napping-all-day self fairly soon.

Sometimes I feel like I'm running so hard in circles that I just veer off and head out of my territory too. Thank goodness, God is there to pick me up and return me to my happy home. It's nice to share where I've been, but it's even nicer to settle down and become myself again.

Busy Weeks

Each week since my foot injury seems to be busier than the one before. If I never have to go to another doctor's appointment or see another home health nurse, it will not be too soon. This week I'm not only caregiving for my husband, who cracked his ribs last week when he fell in the house, but now the dog is added to my list of needy family members, since I just brought her home from the vet's today after her spaying surgery.

Don't get me wrong. I'm just reporting, not complaining. I thrive on staying busy, and it is especially sweet that I'm staying busy for others. There are many theories on how to stay young, but to me the most powerful one is to keep your youth by caring for others.

Well, maybe it won't keep you young, but it will keep you alive. I'm counting on God to keep me around as long as I can be of use to somebody. There's really no reason to hang around this old earth any longer than that. Right? Heaven's too good to postpone.

Dog Surgery

Tomorrow my little dog has surgery. Just a simple spaying, but I'm sure it will be a big deal for her. It will be hard dropping her off at the veterinarian's in the morning. I wish there was some way I could communicate with her to let her know what's going to happen, so she won't be as frightened.

But I can almost guarantee that when I pick her up the next day, she will not hold it against me that I brought her there. Her trust and love for me will be just as strong as the day I first took her into my home. She will have lots of doggy "kisses" to share, despite the pain that she'll be experiencing.

As humans, shouldn't we be that trusting of our heavenly Father? It must pain Him that He can't share everything that may happen in our lives, but we shouldn't hold it against Him. Our love must survive for our Master, even when we are in the very heart of pain and suffering.

We dog owners are always looking for ways to teach our dogs obedience, but let's not overlook what they are teaching us about love.

Minnie Melts

I took my little dog Minnie to the vet today for shots. It was hard to see her get poked and hear her whimper when the needles went in. Dogs are so trusting though. I held her afterwards and she melted in my arms.

There was a moment in the waiting room that I wanted to melt in someone's arms. Disappear in them actually. My husband begged me to take him with me to the vet's and I reluctantly agreed, even though he could have stayed home with my nephew. I won't go into details, but let's just say I was embarrassed by some of Dean's behavior while we waited for Minnie's turn for shots.

It's getting more difficult to take him places. I always wondered why caregivers, especially those with loved ones with dementia, stayed home so much and felt so isolated. But that's just the way it is, when it's all said and done, it's just easier to stay home.

I'm actually fortunate to have been a caregiver for Dean's brain injury so many years already. I feel like I know the ropes a bit already. It's all the same dementia symptoms, just brought up a notch. Now that I've gotten used to the idea that it will get worse, I can focus on strategies to keep things running smoothly around here.

I am ready to melt in my Savior's arms when needed. Those shots can really hurt, but I try to remember that they are vital instruments in carrying out God's will for the whole universe. I am not isolated one bit, no matter how much we stay home.

Sin Smells

Our little dog Minnie got out of the house unexpectedly today when we weren't looking. I was about to praise her for coming back on her own, until I smelled an unusual odor coming from her direction. You guessed it. She had found a lovely, dead something and felt the need to immerse herself in the foul carcass. This usually happens close on the heels of a bath. For some reason, she must have missed having a scent all her own, so she had to go create a new one. She somehow sensed another bath was in the offing, so we had to trick her into the bathroom for a repeat bathing treatment.

Isn't this like the human sin experience? We repeatedly go out and get ourselves tainted with the foul odors of sin, then submit to the cleansing of the Holy Spirit once again. But fortunately, we have a Father God, who overlooks our frailties and loves us anyway. Just like we still love our Minnie, even when she smells like a dead mouse.

I'd Better Listen

I made several car trips today and with the weather so nice, it was a joy to bring my little doggy companion along. She sits very dignified on my lap while I'm driving, all five pounds of her looking out the window. I half expect her to tell me if any cars are coming on the left when we're at stop signs. She thinks she's helping me drive, I'm sure.

I want Jesus to be the "driver" of my life. But I hope, in my efforts to be close to Him, I don't restrict His steering. Just as Minnie can get in the way at times, I probably do cramp His style and make His driving more difficult, when I think I'm doing nothing but being a help.

There is a more comfortable seat for Minnie though, and sometimes she takes advantage of it. There's a perfect ledge for her on the top of the back seat which gets all the sun's rays through the back window. And the view is much more inclusive. I should encourage her to use this lovely perch more.

Do you think Jesus has a better place for me to sit? I better listen to His directions. I heard my husband say to a pastor once, "Are you a man of God?...Then I'd better listen." Wise words for a man with dementia.

Fur Types

Today I gave our little dog a bath. She is such a tiny thing, only about five pounds, so bathing is fast and easy. Her fur is so thin and fine, compared to the Sheltie we once had. I can't help but notice the difference in bathing, based on fur type alone. It took forever to just get the Sheltie's fur wet, and after soap was applied, rinsing was equally time-consuming. With Minnie, it's just get her in the tub, zip, and we're through. Even drying is a shorter process.

What does all this have to do with you and me? I think we all have different personalities and needs, just like fur type. Consequently, some of us require more maintenance to keep our relational and emotional forces working properly. Do we recognize which of our friends and loved ones are those requiring more maintenance? Or do we even care?

This holiday season I should take a closer look at my card list, address book, Facebook page, and all my methods for keeping track of friends. It won't hurt to make a phone call, write a little longer letter or email, or even visit in person those who need a little more maintenance. It will mean as much to me as it will to them. I'll enjoy richer and closer friendships, and it will be as nice as having a clean-smelling dog around the house.

The Cold

We are experiencing our first bout with snow in Nebraska this year. Even though it's pretty to look at,  you don't want to stay long outside. As a matter of fact, I thought our little dog would be having less requests to go out because of the cold. There seems to be just as many, but her visits are of a shorter duration.

Looking back over my life experiences, I find many cold, wintry times, when I needed to be out there doing my "business." But fortunately, I too have a Master at the door welcoming me back into a warm home. He knows just how long I can stand it out there.

I look forward to an eternal Spring. When we won't have to deal with harsh winter days any more. But right now, I'd settle for a temporary spring...bbbrrrrrrr! CLOSE THAT DOOR!

Bixby, the Guide Dog

At church dinner today we had the pleasure of having a guide dog in attendance at our table. Bixby, a new addition to his master's life, is fast becoming a hit with church members, young and old. There is a rule, however, that he can't be petted unless his "guide harness" is off. It's his signal that he is "off duty".

Certainly this harness concept must relate to our Christian walk. We must constantly be "in harness" and "on duty" for God's service, as we guide others to an understanding of God's love. But will God ever allow the harness to be removed and the petting to begin?

I believe He's making provisions for that time even now. Somewhere in heaven there are "petting" mansions being built, where God's people will be pampered supremely when Jesus comes again. (John 14:1-3) And I'm sure there are angels who are eagerly waiting for the chance to get to know the human race on a more personal, up-close level...just like our desire to pet and make friends with Bixby.

Dog Sense

This time of year all our little dog Minnie wants, it seems, is to sit out and soak up the sun. Even with the cooler temperatures, she just loves it outdoors, where she can catch the squirrel and rabbit scents floating on the breeze. Even when she's on a leash and her hopes of running after that inviting prey are hopelessly limited, she wants to be out where "the action is."

She has a perfectly good view of the outdoor world from her little perch on the back of the sofa. The picture window there allows her to see that occasional rabbit and squirrel. But the sight is just not as good as the scent to her. She has to experience that smell for her happiness to be complete, even though she knows that catching her prize probably just isn't gonna' happen, even when she is briefly allowed the joy of the chase.

We are often like Minnie, in that we aren't content with what we have in life. We are always wanting to experience more. Even when "more" isn't the best or safest thing to experience. But how do we know what is safe and best for us? I guess, just like Minnie, we have to trust our Master. We don't want to be content with anything in this world, but on the other hand, we need to be content with the plan our Master has for us, even when it doesn't make sense to us at the time.