God Knows!

We were just getting settled into our old routines last month after Dean's return from rehab with his broken ankle and our lovely Thanksgiving with family, when things started going downhill for his health.

Several symptoms pointed to a drug interaction, similar to the ones he had last spring--slurred speech, sleeping more, just overall not-himself. We had just started him on a new blood pressure medicine after a doctor visit on Monday, but by Friday our home health nurse agreed that it might be time for an emergency room visit on the weekend sometime, due to his feet swelling and low pulse readings he was also experiencing. We honestly couldn't figure out what was going on.

I waited till Saturday morning, not wanting him to finish his birthday Friday with a trip to the hospital. By that morning he was doing so poorly that I feared even being able to get him safely to the hospital by myself (didn't want another fall on my watch). So I called an ambulance.

With a very low pulse and temperature reading, the hospital staff immediately suspected a sepsis situation and put him on antibiotics with an IV and spent all day running test after test to determine what could possibly be accounting for his condition.

By the end of the day they had him in ICU and still didn't have any clear diagnosis for us on Sunday, besides a possible blood-born infection called sepsis. Knowing it would help to know what kind of infection they might be battling, I finally came up with the idea that it might be related to his dental appointment earlier that month.

At that time, the dentists said his teeth, what few he had left, really needed attention. They pulled one that day and we were told to come back in December for more extractions. They didn't have time for more treatment that day, since we were being seen as an emergency visit.

When I mentioned this possible source of infection to the nurses on Monday, the doctors acted quickly by ordering a mouth/head scan that day. Sure enough, he had two rather large abscesses, no doubt causing most of the problem. The hospital dentist pulled the teeth that night, under light sedation. And he was able to transfer to oral antibiotics the next day.

The drug interaction may have contributed to his condition too, however. After stopping that medicine, he was able to keep his blood pressures normal with just one medicine, instead of two. Fortunately, that has continued since he's been home. Hopefully, we won't have to worry again about what blood pressure medicine to try next.

By Thursday, he was able to leave the hospital, but they were hesitant about sending him home, since he seemed so unsteady on his feet. They thought physical therapy in a rehab facility would allow him to gain more strength and walk better.

I assured them, however, after being with him all day and seeing him walk all around the unit, that he was about as good as it gets, even considering his dementia behaviors. I convinced them that with the home health agency sending therapists over after his broken ankle episode, our house is more fall-proof than it's ever been.

I just knew Dean would progress more quickly at home than he would in a facility, and they finally agreed that he could be sent home safely, with home health nurses and therapists to monitor the situation.

Our most immediate challenge now is to get his lungs healthier if we can. He seems to need oxygen during the day and night now. I am really nervous about this, mostly for the increased chance of him tripping over his tubing, but so far he's stayed upright and hasn't landed on the floor.

As his family caregiver, my knowledge of Dean aided the professionals in his treatment. I'm so thankful that God knows about all of us too. We can trust our care to Him. He knows what to do to get us to our Heavenly home, a place where there's no sickness, and we won't ever fall into sin again. I can't wait to breathe that Heavenly air. It will be my first DEEP breath...well, ever. (Those who know my shortness of breath can appreciate this!)

Still in ICU

Dean finally got to celebrate his 70th birthday at church after his unexpected hospital stay!

Home Alone

A preliminary assessment with a small monitor that Dean wore at home one night led to a decision for a complete sleep study to check his breathing while he slept, which meant a possible diagnosis of sleep apnea.

When they called me to schedule it at one of the sleep clinics here in town, I asked numerous questions about their setup and procedures out of concern for Dean's peculiar night-time needs. When I described his fall risk and symptoms of dementia, she determined that a hospital setting might be warranted for his safety.

So after four emergency room visits last month between the two of us (see my previous post), when each time a hospital stay seemed quite possible, Dean finally earned his hospital stay just to monitor his nighttime sleeping habits! And it wasn't even through the emergency room!

I wasn't about to complain though. It would mean a night of freedom for me, and since it was in the hospital, that also meant freedom from worry. On the way home, after dropping him off at the hospital in the evening, I thought about how to celebrate my night alone. Should I go shopping, eat at a restaurant, go see a friend?

But then I thought, no, I'll just go home and enjoy my freedom there. It would be a night of relaxation. I would choose a DVD to watch, without haggling over the choice with someone and having to pause it every time that person got up to leave the room. I would leave lights on in rooms I left, without having to go back and turn them off if I forgot. I would leave the toilet seat up or down as I pleased, and not even change the toilet paper roll immediately when it ran out. I might not even pick up after myself. My purse and keys would remain ON the table, instead of under it out of sight.

The evening was sounding more and more inviting. Only occasionally did I harbor thoughts of how Dean was faring at the hospital. Or how the hospital staff was faring with him there.

It wasn't until I got home with him the next morning that I learned that perhaps he was not enjoying his night away as much as I was. When I got there he seemed perfectly happy, feasting on his second pastry and downing a glass of orange juice.

The truth came out in the answering machine messages that awaited me when I got home. Three times he had called and told me that I could come and get him any time. He sounded rather desperate to get home, so it was good I got there when I did.

Evidently they had tried a C-PAP on him during the night, when he showed signs of needing one to see if it would make a difference. He said his nose felt like it was burning, with all that air blowing in there. Oh, my, I hope we can resolve this and find the best overall solution if he does have sleep apnea. I'm trying not to think about it.

Those messages on our answering machine still play in my mind though. I too am anxious to go home...home to heaven, where true rest and relaxation exists for an eternity, and not just a brief night while our loved ones struggle somewhere else. Help me not to lose my zeal for that homecoming called The Second Coming. "This world is not my home..."

Caregiving for Me

Two weeks ago I came down with a monster cold. It was so bad even the first day, with my wimpy lungs, that I went to see the doctor for some additional medicines. Even though I had already started using my nebulizer and cough expectorant, I knew that prednisone and even an antibiotic would probably be added. And it was.

I still went home with the fear that this cold would not end without a call to 911 when my coughing spasms would turn into a choking episode. With less than half of my lungs functioning due to a deformed chest cavity (scoliosis), I just don't have the pulmonary power needed to cough up phlegm or even a tiny piece of food or water that might get lodged in my windpipe.

Three days later after an intense coughing spell, I had the phone in my hand almost ready to punch the 911, before I started to get my breath back. A week after that I actually did dial the 911 when I started to choke again, but told the paramedics I was alright and they didn't have to come.

The very next morning I had to call 911, when I couldn't get any air due to the phlegm closing off my breathing. Even though I had thankfully started breathing by the time they got there, and was using my nebulizer, they insisted I needed to go in to ER. Still in my nightgown, I thought to ask for my purse as we went out the door.

The worse part of my ambulance ride was when I looked in my purse and didn't see my car keys! Sometimes I just leave them lying by the purse and sometimes they are in. I was terrified that Dean would get in the car and drive himself to the hospital! He would be OK driving even though he hasn't been a licensed driver for fifteen years, but would he actually be able to find his way to the hospital without getting lost? I doubted it.

My cell phone was in my purse, however, so I managed to call my daughter when I got to the hospital. Bless her heart, her dad had called her about what had happened, just as she was getting off her night shift and gotten almost asleep. But she said she was on the way to the hospital. I tried to divert her to our house first, but she was determined to be by my side and was almost there.

The happy ending was that after a few tests and they didn't see pneumonia or any sign of infection, I was allowed to go home before noon, with another round of meds to get filled at the drug store. I was so thankful that my daughter was there to take me home, and the house was still standing when we got there, although Dean had been pretty shook up over it all.

I had assumed that he would go ahead and take his van to his day program that day, but he hadn't been able to get his socks on, so had stayed home. How could this man have taken care of himself, if I had been admitted to the hospital? I hope I never find out. But it was comforting to know that my daughter and son-in-law are here to step up to the plate and help. I even have a nephew fifty miles away, who would have dropped everything to come, had I needed him.

One thing that brought a smile was when Dean and I went to church this weekend, and they handed him a microphone to share a prayer request. He asked that people pray that his wife not have another coughing "spree". Yep, that described it pretty well. Some people have shopping sprees; I have coughing sprees.

I was indeed thankful that prayers did see us both through this eventful week. But as soon as I feel better, I'm going shopping instead.

my "at home" hospital

Reminders

Been so busy this week taking care of myself that I haven't had time for much blogging. A monster cold came on like a lamb, but soon showed itself as a lion, and set me reeling again with two episodes of coughing that ended up as choking, near-911 calls. (Praise the Lord, this is the first cold I've had since last February though!)

Most of you know about my pulmonary restrictive disease, causing me to be on oxygen part of the time. My deformed chest cavity from scoliosis doesn't give me the room I need to breathe. When asked by the nurse if I was short of breath, it was tempting to report that all my breaths were short. I haven't had a deep breath in years, maybe never really. Wouldn't know one if it hit me!

But this blog isn't about me. It's about my caregiving life with my hubby dear. After returning home after a six-hour emergency room visit, my daughter (MY caregiver for the day) gave her dad the low-down on not overworking her momma while she's sick. Her lecture really seemed to influence his behavior these past few days. He has been much less needy himself and more observant of my needs, constantly asking what he can do to help.

One thing I've discovered with my illnesses though is that I need reminders for my care. Not taking my medicine or breathing treatments at regular intervals gets me in trouble every time. Seeing my medical arsenal on the washing machine may have reminded Dean of the seriousness of my condition too. It looked like this:

Living in a household with someone who has memory deficits keeps me looking for memory aids for both of us. I have to be doubly cognizant of remembering appointments, medicine times, getting bills paid on time, etc., etc.

How nice that God placed one reminder for us that happens at regular intervals, making it even easier to remember. How important to remember our "weekly date" with Him! He actually blessed a certain day and placed it in the Ten Commandments, so we would never lose it. What could be easier?

Snow in the Morning

My life has slowed down considerably, as far as outside-the-home activities, since Dean's recent weight, sleep, and drug issues. To compound our isolated status, a blizzard is in the forecast for tonight. Everyone is making their final trips to the store, gearing up for the snow we've all been waiting for and dreading at the same time. The beauty of seeing new snow on the ground in the morning will make staying home worth it for awhile at least.

I look forward to another beautiful sight too. Seeing my loved ones on Resurrection Morning. Today, half out of boredom, I moved a bookcase from the living room into my bedroom. On it were pictures and mementos of my dear, departed parents. The caregiving for them was also marked with boredom and isolation--that time in their hospital room.

I'm tired of being isolated from loved ones, but especially from my Jesus. That will be the sweetest sight of all on Resurrection Morning. Jesus coming in the clouds to bring us all home with Him. And what a glorious, heavenly home that will be.

Minnie at her watchdog post--foot of my bed! She's such good company too!

Prayer Works!

The most outstanding part of my day was when I got some news about my brother-in-law's father, who has been sick in hospital ICU this whole last week. He's had a fever of 102-103 for several days, which they could not get lowered, plus couldn't eat, stay awake, and had low blood pressure. And did I mention he's 87-years-old? He was fading fast.

After many tests, they finally determined today that it was West Nile, which is often fatal, especially for the young and old who contract it. So, this afternoon some elders of his church arrived and anointed him with oil and had prayer. By 5:30 his fever broke and it appears he might be on the road to recovery.

I will say that Vern and his wife are probably more healthy than the average 80-year-olds of today. Their healthy, vegetarian lifestyle has kept them active in service and in this case, it may have just kept him alive. But, of course, we aren't downplaying the part prayer had in his healing.

This modern-day miracle is just one reason I have faith to carry on. It gives one the shivers, to think of what God can do for us when we put our trust in Him. God knows what He's doing!

The Good and the Bad

Dean and I had a special day today. We celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary. According to Dean, no celebration is complete unless it involves eating out, so it was nice to have our son-in-law and daughter come to our rescue and take us out to eat for supper.

For all the joy of the anniversary, there were also some bittersweet moments. Earlier in the day, Dean and I went to visit a friend from years ago who recently had an accident resulting in a traumatic brain injury. It was very emotional for me to go to Madonna Rehabilitation Hospital and see Lloyd in basically the same condition as Dean was when he was there twelve years ago. Lloyd was not very responsive, but from the reports I've heard, he is making good progress in recovering from a coma, similar to the one Dean had following his tractor accident in 1999.

This sure shows how life has its ups and downs. Our wedding gave us many happy memories. But the day of the accident was not so good. We must take the bad along with the good just because we live in a world polluted with sin. But the nice part is that God does not leave us when times get tough. If anything, He draws closer. We just have to look for Him.

Three days after Dean's accident I thought to look at my new medical insurance card and was amazed that the day it became effective was the day of his accident. The thought of it still makes me shiver. God had not deserted us. He was very much in control, when it seemed that only chaos reigned in our lives. But where there is chaos, there is also peace. The bad and the good. Look for it.