The Team

I can't help but think of my mom today. This was her birthday and birthdays were always so important to her. She would be 81 today. My dad's day was just two days before hers and I think they rather enjoyed celebrating their birthdays together. Mom usually made Dad's favorite cake. Yellow with chocolate frosting. Then she might follow with a special dessert that she liked. She made great cream puffs.

One thought I had of my mom today though was how she was able to cope with life. Of course, Jesus was her constant confidante, but she also felt comfortable sharing her burdens with her children. My sister usually had a handle on her aches and pains, from her swollen hands and feet to the pain in her eyes. Even though my sister lived hundreds of miles away, I could find out from her how mom was feeling, because I knew Mom shared that with her.

My brother was her sounding board when it came to marital matters, the many hurts and frustrations that came with living with a high-maintenance man like my dad. He gave her much needed comfort and understanding of those issues from his unique male perspective.

And finally I was there to share her frustrations with being blind those last ten years or so. I was the only one who lived close and was taking her to doctor's appointments and listening to her heartbreaking concerns of not being able to see and how much quality of life it was taking from her.

We were a family team all along and didn't recognize how our combined efforts were lightening Mom's load. But I'm sure it was. Thank you, Lord, for helping us be there for our mom. And she felt our combined presence, I'm sure, right to the end.

"A Spit and a Promise"

This day has been full of memories. It was my dad's birthday today. He would have been 83. What a coincidence that my nephew would think of washing the car today. It's my dad's car that I inherited two years ago. My parents kept it immaculately washed, waxed, and detailed numerous times a year. Often by their own sweat and muscle.

I feel close to my mom and dad whenever I use their car. They used it to drive to a local truck stop every evening to relax and socialize with friends. It was more than a vehicle for them. It was a link to the outside world. I know they were more proud of it than they were their old house.

Thank you, Jason, for reviving some memories for me today. Mom and Dad may be gone from this world, but their car lives on, as do our memories of them both. They live on in our hearts. We look forward to seeing them again on that glorious Resurrection Morning. God has promised a grand reunion for His people.

Here they are at the truck stop a few years ago...

After a good wash, it still shines!

Stressings and Blessings

This is the second week of 100 degree weather, and the garden is really suffering, even though I water it faithfully every day. Sometimes I water in the morning; but if I'm too busy, it has to wait till evening. The poor cucumbers look about dead during the hottest part of the day. But as soon as the sun starts to go down, they perk right up. The sun and heat are obviously quite stressful to plants.

I can sympathize with stress. My life has been marked with it almost from the start. Not as much as many, I'm sure. But I've had my share. A father with anger issues, a congenital deformity, an abusive husband on drugs, divorce, depression, cancer and deaths in the family, career loss, poverty-level living, and being a caregiver for a spouse with brain injury and dementia.

Fortunately though, I've had a God to keep me "watered" morning, noon, and night. I've needed it.  He's blessed me with a husband to love, a faithful daughter, son-in-law, and nephew to support me, and two adorable granddaughters to charm and entertain me. Let alone a house I'm in the process of owning, a car given to me by my father, and plenty of clothes and food. As a matter of fact, my watering cup runneth over. I'm perking right up like a cucumber, just thinking about the blessings. Who cares about stresses, when God blesses!

Remembering

This evening Dean and I visited my parents' graves. I still don't how I survived the year 2010 and losing both mom and dad to cancer. Talk about caregiving. I was stretched to the limit, making over a hundred 50-mile trips back and forth. But thanks to many family members pulling together we survived the tragedy.

Here they are in the middle of that year, celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary.

The memories they gave us live on!

That Grand Reunion

It's been a year and a half since I lost both my parents to cancer. So many family milestones they've missed. Some good, some not-so-good. They both live on in our memories though. And also in the values and spiritual legacy they left for us.

I still have boxes of their papers, etc. to sort through, but just don't have the heart for it yet. Maybe someday when I'm in a real cleaning frenzy, I'll tackle it again. For now, I have two pieces of furniture that are daily reminders of their love and influence.

One, the dining room hutch, was my mom's pride and glory. It matches the table that she gave me several years ago when Dad took over her dining room and needed to set up his computer. She loved this dining room set and when I think about it, it's the first nice one she had. After forty years of marriage, you can understand her pride and joy in it. She hated to separate the set, but now they are together in my home. So, that's my reminder of Mom.

The computer desk is not an expensive one, but Dad loved his computers and the way they let him stay connected to his loved ones. It was in the only room in the house that Mom turned over to him for all his collections. I think of all the hours I spent emailing, then messaging, and finally video-chatting with Dad in his last years.

I can't bring them back, but so long as I have their memory, even without the physical reminders, I am blessed. They are resting in the grave until our grand family reunion in the sky!

How to Survive with Cancer

If there's one time we wish our words of encouragement could benefit someone, it's when they are most in need for them. But I find myself almost wordless when it comes to comforting a good friend who just got diagnosed with cancer. Before my parents both died of cancer, the word "cancer" was just another word. It's only when you or a loved one has the dreaded disease that the full meaning hits you like a ton of bricks.

My friend is deaf and a single mother, which hasn't made for an easy life. Only God knows why this diagnosis was given to someone who has already seen her share of life's heartaches. One has to ask, why this and why now?

I don't know how she will be given the strength to come through this ordeal, but I do believe that God has a plan for her life, and when she has turned her life over to God, something good will eventually be seen through this trial. I do pray for her to develop this kind of trust in God, because the real cancer survivors aren't just the ones who live through it, but the ones who don't give in to fear and instead place their faith and trust in God. Theoretically then, anyone can "survive" cancer, with God.