Hooray for Groundhogs!

 Sometimes I don't know what to do with Groundhog Day. It's customary for people in the United States to pay attention to what a groundhog does on February 2nd. Whether he sees his shadow or not, coming out of his burrow, supposedly determines the timing of one of our most longed-for seasons. Namely, spring. Even though people joke about this old, Pennsylvania Dutch superstition, they continue to pretend there's true meteorological value in the custom.

I find myself thankful for Groundhog Day though for a different reason. It's a reminder of an important date, but most of all, an important man who I spent most of my life with. My husband, Dean, passed away on this colorful, memorable day in 2018, six years ago now.

It's not a day for me to celebrate, but certainly an opportunity to commemorate and cherish the best of memories about someone who had such an impact on my life.

Having just finished reading the book, "Man's Search for Meaning", by Viktor E. Frankl, I recognize instantly that although my life, before and after the caregiving years, wasn't perfect with Dean, he truly gave my life purpose and meaning, and for that I will always be thankful. God knew what He was doing, after all, in bringing our lives together.

my college graduation in the spring of 1976...the beginning of our "journey" together

He Took It to the Limit

 December 4th, which was Dean's birthday, caused me once again to wait for some inspiration that would allow me to write something about my late husband on his special day. Nothing came to mind, until I was in a dentist chair today, his birthday, waiting to get a temporary crown returned to its throne. It had fallen off unexpectedly the day after I was coronated.

Sitting there, I couldn't help listening to the background music playing in the dental office. The song that came on had been especially loved by Dean back in 1976, the year of our wedding. I hadn't paid a lot of attention to rock music in those years of my life, but apparently Dean had, and he was fond of the Eagles' song, "Take It to the Limit".

The words "So, put me on a highway, show me a sign..." and the rest, really summed up Dean's life up to that point, he told me back then. It spoke of his love of hitchhiking, but also the fact that he had been searching for a way to turn his life around.

I'd like to think he did that with me.

Four Days a Year That Anchor Me

 There seem to be four dates out of the year now that provide me with time for reflection, but also for centering my life on what really matters. And they all revolve around the man I was caregiver for, but who is peacefully resting in Christ now, waiting for His Second Coming, as we all are.

Dean's birthday was December 4th; then there's his date of passing, February 2nd, 2018. Two familiar bookend events in the winter--the beginning and end of his life on earth.

There are two other dates I can't overlook--June 6th (the beginning of our marriage) and September 1st (the date of Dean's tractor accident, which was somewhat an end to our life before the accident).

Beginnings and endings are the most significant parts of our lives, aren't they? What happens in between is so fleeting and short-lived. Not that our current situation doesn't matter, but it perhaps should not be our primary focus.

Beginnings make us thankful, and endings make us hopeful, both needed ingredients for a life of faith and joy. The only thing that really matters in the middle of these is the amount of God's love we are able to spread during the short time we're here.

Although today would have been our 47th wedding anniversary, I remembered that I met Dean in my senior year of college, in 1973, so it's actually been fifty years ago. An even sweeter way to remember today. Half a century. What's that compared to eternity? That's what really matters. So, you see why these four dates are important...

Graduating in 1973

Graduating in 1997

Too Painful for Words

 Too painful for words, but too helpful to be silent. Just two months ago, I remembered Dean on his birthday, and now I remember him again on his "death day". Both are dates that are seared into my memory for different, but similar reasons.

We used to celebrate Dean's birthday in December, because it was an event that brought life to a man I came to love for over forty years. Our marriage changed my life in ways I could not have imagined. At his death, five years ago now, my life has once again changed. I became a widow; but that hasn't been all bad.

The love we shared was not lost entirely. I've been able to channel it to sources that have brought me just as much satisfaction and joy as those blissful, but sometimes stormy, forty years of marriage.

God has blessed me with not only a daughter, but her husband and family, which includes two beautiful granddaughters.

In addition, the last half of these five, swift years have enabled me to reach out to my community in ways that weren't always available when I had Dean's care to consider after his tractor accident. The training brought about by his caregiving provided me with the stamina and determination to be a caregiver for my whole neighborhood.

For two and a half years now, I have daily re-stocked the shelves of a little free pantry in my front yard, trying to keep a close eye on the grocery needs of my neighbors and checking the pulse of the wider community, encouraging them to donate the vast amount of food it takes to feed those in need here.

Although the pandemic has kept me home more than I'd like, I feel greatly blessed that I have a place to call home. It would have been sweet to share all this with Dean, but I have great hopes and expectations that someday in our heavenly home I'll be able to do just that.

Oh, come, Lord Jesus, come! About that, I cannot be silent.

Not-Forgotten Birthday

 Birthdays have a purpose of not only causing us to remember someone on their special day while they are alive, but they provide us a way to enjoy sweet memories of lost loved ones for many years beyond.

I'm reminded of my husband Dean on December 4th, his birthday, which sometimes got overlooked when he was a boy, due to its closeness to Christmas.

There's been five long years now without him to celebrate his special day. The sharp grief in the beginning has been gradually replaced with a bundle of sweet remembrances that do not surface nearly as often as I'd like.

So, when times such as birthdays do come around, days that remind us of that person we hold dear, they are warmly welcomed and appreciated.

Thank you, December 4th, for giving me another nudge to express my thankfulness for having someone special in my life. No one could replace you, Dean Thompson. You will always hold a special place in our hearts. Just as December 4th will always be a special date on our calendar.

Some Days Are Worth Remembering

 Although you might think some days are so horrific they are worth forgetting, you might reconsider when you discover how they changed you...ultimately for the better.

I was thinking in the back of my mind that September 1st had some special meaning, when my daughter reminded me that indeed it did. We both shared merely the fact that it was the day, 23 years ago, that Dean, her father, my husband, had a tractor run over him.

Our hurried trip to the hospital, over a hundred miles away, had us both rattled with anxiety and dread upon what we would find there. He had suffered numerous life-threatening body traumas and was in a coma, which lasted for days.

His hospital recovery would last for months, and his brain injury symptoms would continue for years, all the way to his passing in 2018. How each of us survived the event on Sept. 1, 1999, is beyond miraculous. It definitely led to character development and spiritual growth for the whole family.

We are told to be thankful for everything. So, as we draw near to the Thanksgiving season, let's remember that our greatest trials can also be our greatest blessings.

My Anniversary Corner

I couldn't let June 6th pass without remembering my dear husband who passed away four years ago. June 6th was our anniversary. In a way these last four years seem like a lifetime ago, especially with the way covid has compounded my "alone time".

It's been hard dealing with all life's stresses without the one who taught me how to deal with them. And that would be Dean. The way he taught me works for an eternity though, so I guess I'm set.

With God, I can wait. I can wait to see Dean again in eternity. Together, we will praise the One who has given all the hope we need to survive. I pray that same hope for the loved ones, I, too. will leave behind someday. He told me once that all our trials will seem like just a hiccough when we reach that heavenly home. Now, that's what I call survival!

(my little memorial corner of Dean, 

with some of his faith and love messages that keep me going)