Following His Directions

The light snow we got last night and this morning set my mood for some Christmas baking for the neighbors while Dean was gone to his day program. Actually, I had this baking scheduled anyway for today, but the snow just made it seem more appropriate to the season.

I ended up making three batches of fudge, only two of them were planned. They were very easy recipes with simple ingredients (my two criteria for baking and/or cooking these days). First some chocolate fudge (first time using the microwave method), and then I made some peanut butter fudge, using the stove. The peanut butter fudge set up so well, compared to the chocolate one, that I decided to do a makeover with the second bag of chocolate chips I had on hand, with much better results.

It was my own careless disregard of following the exact directions the first time that caused the first fudge failure. And although the second one wasn't as firm as the peanut butter variety, I was much more pleased with the final product.

This was a reminder to me of the wisdom of following God's exact directions when it comes to my life. The closer I follow His recipe, the more satisfying will be the outcome.

Pills Again

After a quick search, I see that I've already written nine times about Dean's pills since I began this blog. Our life seems to revolve around these little critters, so here's one more story about a "pill scare".

Last Friday night Dean hollered to me from the kitchen that he'd forgotten to take his pills that morning. He could see that pills were still in their morning slot in the weekly pill organizer he uses.

This happens occasionally, and usually it's nothing to worry about. But seconds later, he reports that he didn't take them the night before either! Now that would be something to worry about, so I dropped what I was doing and raced to the kitchen to verify what he was telling me.

We discovered that he was thinking it was the next night, Saturday night, so naturally there were pills in Saturday morning and Friday night that he hadn't taken yet. Whew, what a relief to see that although we had made a mistake in what day it was, it was not a mistake with great consequences, like not taking his pills would have been.

We've all made multiple mistakes during our lifetimes, but our merciful God races to our rescue to help oversee the situation, just as I raced to the kitchen. We can be sure in His capable Caregiver hands, our lives will make sense in eternity, if we've turned our lives over to Him and simply make the call for His help.

Ready for Travel

This morning Dean woke up with the distinct feeling that he was going somewhere. He insisted on getting totally dressed, which included jeans over his pajama bottoms, two T-shirts, street shoes, and even two hats and eyeglasses. With  a snowstorm approaching today, I was totally alarmed at his determination to venture out on his own.

It was obvious it was one of those vivid dreams he'd been having, so I did all I could to forestall and talk him out of his plans. We had an omelet, I read something for worship and then put on some religious music he requested, all the while trying to reason with him gently about the nature of his longing to leave. By mid-morning, he seemed to settle down and it felt like he was not venturing out, at least for now.

I tried to convince him that getting ready to leave was just as important as leaving. And that we needed to stay together. It wouldn't be right for him to leave without me. Any argument I could think of. But all day he has kept his cowboy hat and two Bibles on the kitchen table, right by the front door.

At least I am comforted by the Bibles that his destination is heavenly and not worldly. Unfortunately, many of us think we're headed in a heavenly direction too, but in actuality we are headed right out for the traps of the world.

Oh, Lord, help me to be ready to follow you in the paths of righteousness, for His name's sake. We all need to be ready, but may our journey be in the right direction, away from Satan's traps.

"Lovegiving"

A friend of mine just lost her elderly father. She and her husband have been caregivers for her parents for some time now, so I'm feeling a special sadness for them today. It reminds me of what the end of my own caregiving will feel like.

I don't know if grief is any easier after caregiving or not. Perhaps there's still guilt over whether your care was good enough. But then again, there's some comfort in knowing that you were there for them and did the best you could.

Friends and loved ones often refer to caregivers as saints. But we are actually no more saintly than any other Christian. As a matter of fact, the Bible indicates in many places that anyone who calls on the name of Jesus and is sanctified in Him is a saint. (I Corinthians 1:2) ) Caregiving doesn't make one a saint. It allows us to be one. It's the Christian, saintly thing to do.

It's an opportunity to give back the care and love that's been given to us. One might call it "lovegiving".

Sleep at Last

Dean finally got a full night's sleep last night. But it wouldn't have happened had I not called the home health agency and had the on-call nurse come to check him out yesterday. Hated to do it on the weekend, but in addition to sleeplessness, he has been having a lot of mental confusion.

The nurse checked his vitals and after getting the doctor paged, we were instructed to reinstate the medicine that we were trying to get him off of. I know. None of it makes sense, but we will see him in his office this Friday, so perhaps we'll solve this dilemma by then. I'm just happy that he is finally getting some much needed sleep.

The nurse did have some good affirmation for me though. She said when she talked to our regular nurse on the phone before coming over, she was told that she'd better stop for a visit, because I wouldn't have called unless there was a good reason. It was nice to hear that I'm taken seriously when it comes to Dean's care.

I try to stay on top of things, but haven't always been successful in the past. That's why I know that God is really the one to get credit for anything good that comes from my decisions. God is the One we should all take seriously. When He says come, we should go.

Fall Prevention

I've been hesitant to leave Dean for more than an hour or two by himself, but yesterday proved that disasters can happen even when he's not alone. It was early afternoon; I was in bed, nursing this cold, when my nephew and I heard a loud thud and moan coming from the living room. We both rushed out there to find him on the floor with a chair suspiciously in the middle of the room underneath the ceiling fan.

The fan had broken a blade last week and he wanted to inspect the damage via standing on the chair. Not a wise choice when you consider he had seven falls in one month last spring. Fortunately, he didn't seem to suffer too much from the spill. Fell on his wrist, which was hurting some, but he could move it alright. I'm afraid it didn't do his cracked ribs much good though, because he woke me up at 1:30 in the morning, complaining that he couldn't sleep and was hurting. Gave him a couple of Tylenol. I'll call his home health nurse tomorrow, especially if it keeps him up again.

Aren't we all a bit like Dean though? We think we are capable of fixing things in our life on our own, when the truth is we're just going to fall and make it all worse in the end. Dean struggles with being dependent on us, but we all struggle with depending on God. Dean needs to ask us before tackling any kind of job, but we should do the same with God. We could prevent a lot of falls that way.

God Moments

Yesterday my daughter had a "God moment" when she felt the presence of God in the comforting embrace of a woman who looked just like her grandmother. She was at the animal shelter for an orientation for volunteers and couldn't take her eyes off another volunteer who looked just like my mother, who passed away in 2010. And the tears really came when she introduced herself as Patty, which was Grandma's name! It felt like a long overdue hug from Grandma. Coincidence? Or God ordained?

Then I've been thinking lately that I would sure like to find my nephew a nice microwave at a garage sale this summer, since he's moving into an apartment that doesn't have one. Funds are tight for both of us, but this morning I noticed a sign for a garage sale right up the street with several apartment garages hosting sales. I pulled in, never knowing that the first garage I would walk up to had a table with something on it I could hardly believe. A brand new microwave someone was selling for the ridiculously low price of ten dollars! And that was the exact amount of money I had in my purse! Coincidence? Or God ordained?

I thank God for these God moments. For the realization that He is at my side, and at the side of my family. He knows our needs, even before we ask. His presence is not only real, but is close by us on a personal level...if we are looking for Him.

Here's Kayla getting a hug from Grandma Patty when they were out shopping a few years ago.

And here is the miracle microwave!

Who's Steering?

I went shopping today again with my daughter and two granddaughters. The littlest one was riding with me on the power cart, sitting so still and being so good. But then she got to playing with the horn. Discovered just where and how to push it. Next thing I know she's taking over the steering too!

Good thing I was just a bit stronger than she was and kept us running safely down the middle of the aisles and not bumping into the shelves. She was having so much fun trying to wrest the steering away from Grandma, but her sister and I were laughing and enjoying it as much as she was. The joy for her came from doing something Grandma was supposed to do and getting away with it, even though I was the one who had the cart under control.

How often do we think we can steer better than God too? I imagine He humors us somewhat, letting us think we are in charge, even though He is really the strong one and is keeping our life on the straight path. Just like I kept our cart from crashing into anything. God will gladly be in control for us, if we ask Him to. Is there really a safer way to travel?

Double Dose

Last night I woke up around 2 a.m. and couldn't, for the life of me, get back to sleep. I laid there about an hour, then checked my blood pressure to see if it was running high--that sometimes keeps me awake. It wasn't high, so I decided a bite to eat might help me sleep. While I was waiting for the toaster, I took Dean's pill organizer off the microwave, as I'm accustomed to doing several times a day, and was shocked to see that he had already taken his morning pills! How terrifying to think that he must have double dosed himself earlier that night. As I went back to bed, after checking up on Dean to see if he was still breathing, all I could do was praise God for leading me to the pill organizer the way He did.

The nurse told me this morning that Dean may have more confusion and dementia symptoms for a few days following a trip like we had, but now I know to keep a much closer eye on his pills. What a wonderful God we have to keep me awake until I discovered what had happened.

Psalms 121:4 says "Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep." What a comfort to know He's always there.

92 Years Young

Today Dean and I visited a friend of mine, 92 years young, who had a stroke recently and now resides in an assisted living home. I call it a home, rather than a facility, because it definitely had the feel of a home. I like that. Nobody wants to reside in a place that resembles a hospital, even though sometimes the level of nursing care needed calls for that environment.

The lady we visited seems to have adjusted well to her new living arrangement, although she loved having her own apartment for as long as she did. Before her stroke, she had a unique ministry. She cut out storytelling felts for missionaries to bring to children in other countries. It was alot of work to cut out and assemble those large sets of felts, but she worked at it with a passion. And few people knew of her immense undertaking.

Since she has moved into the assisted living home, she has changed her missionary goals and now considers herself a missionary right where she's at. She no longer is able to cut the felts because of the stroke, but she is a great Christian witness to her new friends there. She was an inspiration to Dean and I, and our visit was meant to benefit her. I think God knew she was ready for a rest, but He still allows her to serve Him in a meaningful way by telling others of her faith. How willing are we to let God guide us in the choice of a ministry and be satisfied with His choice as she has done?

Shame on the Proofreader

My overriding thought today is a mistake I made a few weeks ago in an email. I'm a proofreader, so am embarrassed that this one got by me. I sent someone my address, but typed the house number wrong. Consequently, to make a long story short, some books that were sent to me a couple of weeks ago got lost and had to be reshipped and I got them after the holidays instead of before. I was hoping these books I edited would be nice Christmas gifts.

As it turned out though, this is probably better timing for them, as people I have given them to will be more likely to read them now than during the rush of the holiday season. It's the type of book that will be a spiritual blessing to the reader, so I'm anxious that it gets in the right hands at the right time.

I can't believe I mistyped one number in that email and it made such a difference in when these books would get in the hands of people I know. But God is in control of even the smallest events in our lives. Everything happens for a purpose. Praise Him for making me type a 7, instead of a 6 that day, and then NOT catching the error! It has made all the difference.

God Has a Plan

I knew it was going to be a busy day when my daughter called ten minutes before library storytime and asked if I could meet her there and help watch one of the granddaughters. Fortunately, it only involved putting my shoes and jacket on and going out the door, but I thought on my way there that only for my daughter and her little ones would I be making such an impromptu and rather inconvenient trip. I did have other things lined up for the morning before she called.

And then I thought, am I as willing to go on God's errands? Would I be just as anxious to drop all my plans and follow His? The answer lies only in how much love is motivating me to do it. It has to come from a pretty close relationship, just like with my daughter.

Lord, help me to hear your voice and, no matter what I am doing and where I am going in life, to just go where you want me to go and do what you want me to do. I may not be able to make sense of your plan, and it may cause hardship and sadness to me, but I trust you to lead the way.