God Knows!

We were just getting settled into our old routines last month after Dean's return from rehab with his broken ankle and our lovely Thanksgiving with family, when things started going downhill for his health.

Several symptoms pointed to a drug interaction, similar to the ones he had last spring--slurred speech, sleeping more, just overall not-himself. We had just started him on a new blood pressure medicine after a doctor visit on Monday, but by Friday our home health nurse agreed that it might be time for an emergency room visit on the weekend sometime, due to his feet swelling and low pulse readings he was also experiencing. We honestly couldn't figure out what was going on.

I waited till Saturday morning, not wanting him to finish his birthday Friday with a trip to the hospital. By that morning he was doing so poorly that I feared even being able to get him safely to the hospital by myself (didn't want another fall on my watch). So I called an ambulance.

With a very low pulse and temperature reading, the hospital staff immediately suspected a sepsis situation and put him on antibiotics with an IV and spent all day running test after test to determine what could possibly be accounting for his condition.

By the end of the day they had him in ICU and still didn't have any clear diagnosis for us on Sunday, besides a possible blood-born infection called sepsis. Knowing it would help to know what kind of infection they might be battling, I finally came up with the idea that it might be related to his dental appointment earlier that month.

At that time, the dentists said his teeth, what few he had left, really needed attention. They pulled one that day and we were told to come back in December for more extractions. They didn't have time for more treatment that day, since we were being seen as an emergency visit.

When I mentioned this possible source of infection to the nurses on Monday, the doctors acted quickly by ordering a mouth/head scan that day. Sure enough, he had two rather large abscesses, no doubt causing most of the problem. The hospital dentist pulled the teeth that night, under light sedation. And he was able to transfer to oral antibiotics the next day.

The drug interaction may have contributed to his condition too, however. After stopping that medicine, he was able to keep his blood pressures normal with just one medicine, instead of two. Fortunately, that has continued since he's been home. Hopefully, we won't have to worry again about what blood pressure medicine to try next.

By Thursday, he was able to leave the hospital, but they were hesitant about sending him home, since he seemed so unsteady on his feet. They thought physical therapy in a rehab facility would allow him to gain more strength and walk better.

I assured them, however, after being with him all day and seeing him walk all around the unit, that he was about as good as it gets, even considering his dementia behaviors. I convinced them that with the home health agency sending therapists over after his broken ankle episode, our house is more fall-proof than it's ever been.

I just knew Dean would progress more quickly at home than he would in a facility, and they finally agreed that he could be sent home safely, with home health nurses and therapists to monitor the situation.

Our most immediate challenge now is to get his lungs healthier if we can. He seems to need oxygen during the day and night now. I am really nervous about this, mostly for the increased chance of him tripping over his tubing, but so far he's stayed upright and hasn't landed on the floor.

As his family caregiver, my knowledge of Dean aided the professionals in his treatment. I'm so thankful that God knows about all of us too. We can trust our care to Him. He knows what to do to get us to our Heavenly home, a place where there's no sickness, and we won't ever fall into sin again. I can't wait to breathe that Heavenly air. It will be my first DEEP breath...well, ever. (Those who know my shortness of breath can appreciate this!)

Still in ICU

Dean finally got to celebrate his 70th birthday at church after his unexpected hospital stay!

A Meal Made in Heaven

So nice to be invited out for a Thanksgiving dinner with family this year. With Dean's raging appetite these days, I was hoping his holiday eating would not get too out of hand.

We timed it right to get there when it was about time to eat. He can make a meal out of appetizers, if you know what I mean. I dished up his first plate, since it was just easier in a small kitchen with buffet-style serving. This assured that his first helpings were sensibly sized and not mounded so high on his plate.

He got his own seconds of favorites after that, but I was glad when they started offering pie for dessert. I'm sure he would have just continued eating plate after plate of food until time for dessert. We made sure he had one of the first pie pieces cut.

We had just the right amount of visiting during and after all of this, but were the first ones to head for home. I understood others soon followed who had other family dinners to attend (in-laws).

It made for a real family treat, being with our daughter's in-laws. Just one big happy family gathering.

It reminded me of the type of family gatherings we will enjoy in heaven someday. But there will be no rush there, no accommodating service, no watching calories, sugar or gluten contents either. It will just all be good-for-us food, and especially tasty. (Almost like this one we enjoyed on Thanksgiving Day.) I can't wait!

in between bites

My understanding hostess Shari--on the left!

Spinning Tires

As always, with the first, fresh snow on our streets, I joined the many cars today who found themselves spinning their tires and not getting enough traction to make it out into the intersection after stopping. At least not with the first try. One is forced to rock back and forth, going from drive to reverse, turning the front tires different directions, in embarrassing attempts to grab onto something that allows you to move forward with the traffic.

That's kind of how my whole week has felt. The challenges of Dean's medicines, their side effects versus their benefits, getting his lift chair approved, searching the internet, playing phone tag with doctors, nurses, the pharmacist, the medical supply store, and not really getting anywhere. I feel like I just can't get any traction and get myself out of this slippery slide of caregiving.

But thankfully, tonight is the beginning of the Sabbath. A whole day designed to help me get some traction and move on with my life with a renewed sense of purpose and gratitude. When the Sabbath is done, I'll feel a sense of relief once again. Just like it felt when I finally got into the intersection today and started moving toward my destination. And it especially feels good when your destination is heaven.

The Last Kiss

Things just aren't working out too well today. I went to start my car this afternoon and evidently the battery is low. Am waiting for my on-call son-in-law mechanic to come by later on and give us a charge. Hope it's nothing major.

Of course, this entire situation is minor compared to a school shooting that happened in an elementary school today in Connecticut. It's all so tragic, losing that many young children all at once. The families involved must be suffering tremendous grief, and most will for a long time.

It helps to put our own lives' problems in perspective and see that they are nothing compared to what some are suffering.

When my caregiving seems more than I can handle, I try to look at it from the perspective of not having anyone to give care to. It gives me the strength to go on, to keep plugging away at our challenges. Those challenges are my purpose for living. I'll not complain, but thank God they are there.

I think a lot of us will give an extra kiss to our loved ones tonight. It could very well be our last.

Showing Your Thanks

I'm amazed and grateful for what different families bring to the Thanksgiving table and to the event itself. We are all brought up having holidays a certain way, but then we get married and find ourselves shocked that not everyone celebrates the same way.

For instance, when I was first married, I found out that not everyone had homemade noodles and ambrosia on their meal menu. But it was also a shock to discover how much more taste is packed into sweet potatoes, when they don't come out of a can. And the same for cranberries. I found out how easily you could make your own whole berry sauce and how actually divine it would taste with a small dollop of real whipped cream. These additions came from Dean's family, where we spent most of our holidays in the first years of our marriage.

Now that our daughter is married and we have been attending their larger festivities, I am learning other wonderful things about Thanksgiving. As much as a linen tablecloth, your best dishes, and even cloth napkins make it a special feast, the food tastes just as good, no matter what it's served on. As a matter of fact, it's rather nice to have the attention drawn to the people sitting at the table, rather than the table itself.

I can see from these observations that our church family will grow and get better, when we all bring our best to the table too and learn and adapt new and better ways to serve God. Let's keep that in mind as we approach His throne with thanksgiving this season. Show God your thanks by your offerings of service to Him.

whipped cream, cranberries sauce, and fruit salad (what a delicious combination!)

Remembering Me

We had a super good time with in-laws tonight. The Thanksgiving food was great and the visiting was lively. We met in a different venue--the community room of my daughter's apartment complex. So, the setup was a bit complex with multiple trips to transport food and other items.

As often happens, we vastly overestimated how much we would eat, so several families went home with leftovers. But that's alright. You kind of expect that with holiday meals. It just seemed more daunting, because of the work of transporting the food all over again.

I usually find myself taking pictures at family events like this, and consequently I am seldom in any of the shots, which is kind of nice, as I don't feel I'm very photogenic anyway. But today my husband asked to take a picture of me when my two granddaughters were sitting on my lap. It was just the kind of shot I would love to have, so I got up, went clear across the room and gave him the camera to get our picture. It didn't come out the best, but I was grateful for Dean, thinking of me not being in any of the pictures.

For a man with dementia, he remembers me. And I'm thankful for that.

That's me and the two girls, clear across the room. He just took it from his comfortable spot on the couch.

Cinnamon Factory

I am not a crafty person. Oh, I have creative juices flowing, and I think I have an eye for beauty, but my hands are not my friends when I work with just about anything. I try not to blame it on being left-handed. I just don't have much patience for material objects of any kind.

Case in point. Earlier this week, I thought on a whim that my daughter could use a break from motherhood so she could get her house cleaned for the holiday coming up. So I offered to take my two granddaughters for a few hours in the afternoon and work with making some little gifts to give to those coming for Thanksgiving.

We did ornamental, scented cookies made with applesauce and cinnamon. Someone had told me about them and they sounded easy enough for my handicraft-challenged hands. Plus I saw on the internet how you could make a heart with two candy canes and pour melted chocolate in them, and just let them harden in the refrigerator. Keep in mind, I wasn't just thinking of keeping it simple for two eager toddlers. It had to be easy for me too.

To make a long story short, I've spent hours this week tying tiny ribbons on these cookies and assembling some gift boxes to put them in, filling bags with the candy cane hearts, writing on tags and putting them on the bags. Not to mention having my house smell like a cinnamon factory all week as the cookies dry out.

I've come to the conclusion that my gift of patience comes easier with people than it does with things. So, this evening, as I labored over the finishing touches of this project, I have been conjuring up images of the smiles on my granddaughters' faces as they distribute the little boxes to their guests tomorrow. That will be reward enough for my madness.

Grandma's lil' workshop table

Holiday Fever

Yesterday I was home alone, with Dean away at his adult day program. I was suddenly aware that it was the second of November. I was getting in the Christmas mood a bit and decided to check out the closet that houses our decorations.

I know most people put up all their decorations at once and probably a lot closer to December than this, but with Dean so resistant to change, I decided maybe just the nativity scene would quiet my decorating cravings for now and not unnerve him too much. Besides, our first thoughts of Christmas should be about baby Jesus anyway, right?

I'm glad the Thanksgiving holiday comes before Christmas. It should ideally put us in a thankful state of mind, before the giving season in December begins. Sadly, many are teaching children that Christmas is mostly about them and getting lots of gifts.

So with that off my mind, here are my two decorating attempts this week. I hope they help our family keep their perspective about what and who these two winter holidays are really about.

I've had this particular nativity scene for years. My sister sent it up to me from Florida several years ago. It's probably not an expensive one, but it is so realistic looking that I just love it. And she knew I would!

I needed to clean off my dining room table anyway, so I decided a Thanksgiving-looking centerpiece for it would be nice. Dean made the cornucopia one year at his adult program, I made the ceramic dish that says "Give us this day our daily bread" many years ago, and my sister-in-law made the cloth that says the same thing. The lace underneath was my mother's.

 So, all in all, it's about family!

Still Thankful

I'm not sure about your family, but this is day four of eating Thanksgiving food around here. Not sure how many more plates of sweet potatoes and dressing I can handle, and there's even some leftover green bean casserole that I'm feeling responsible for, not to mention quite a large bowl of my "from real cranberries" sauce staring back at us when we open the fridge door.

All this food was so delicious the day we fixed it and sat down to eat it on good china and a lace tablecloth. When did it start to lose its appeal? Our blessings on the food are sounding pretty mundane lately, compared to the flowery ones we asked on Thanksgiving Day.

This food situation, crisis for some, reminded me of the manna that fell from heaven for God's people in the wilderness. I wonder how long it was before some of them were complaining about the monotony of their menu too. Let's not be forgetful of where our food comes from. If we remember the Source, straight from heaven above, maybe all our food can gain back its appeal. Hmmm... I think I'll go have some green bean casserole.

Thanksgiving--Round Two

Today we celebrated Thanksgiving again to include family that was absent yesterday. I was just thrilled to get my daughter here, even though it was "the day after." It was an in-law situation, and one I'm sure is encountered multiple times with other families.

It must be even more complicated to get together for stepfamilies and those who are separated geographically. Not to mention the heartache of not seeing someone at all, as the case with many military families.

The point is to be thankful for whatever situation you find yourself in this Thanksgiving, as Paul advises us to do in Ephesians 5:20: "giving thanks always for ALL things..." Don't let anything deter you from giving thanks to God our Father. He's someone we should never spend the holidays without. And we never have to! Praise God!!!

Thanksgiving Memories

As I set the table from the dishes in my Mom's hutch this afternoon, I pulled out a tablecloth that had many memories attached. My nephew and I both commented on its not-so-pretty color and I immediately headed to the hall closet for one of my lace ones. The truth was I just couldn't bear eating on Mom's favorite tablecloth again. We've missed her so much this past year she's been gone.

We all have memories in store that are brought to the surface during special times like holidays. As a matter of fact, one of the things we should be thankful for on Thanksgiving IS our memories--both the past ones and the ones we are creating each day we live.

There are many folk among us who have memory loss, especially short term memory. So be glad you can remember tomorrow what you did today, or even an hour ago. Be thankful for your memories AND your memory!

Thankful for Onion Sandwiches

The other day I was checking up on a fellow church member who is 96 years old and living alone. I asked him if he had any plans for Thanksgiving and he said no. I was a bit surprised because he does have a son who lives close by. But perhaps they were traveling somewhere. He said he didn't mind being home on Thanksgiving--he'd just have an onion sandwich, which is his favorite, I understand.

On this Thanksgiving eve, how many of us are thinking about all our holiday plans--cooking a big meal, cleaning house, packing up to travel, seeing family we haven't seen in awhile...just so many details to attend to? Naturally we want to think of things we're thankful for, but how many of us are really going to express that thanks in any way other than saying a blessing before the big feast tomorrow?

Wouldn't the greatest expression of our thanks come in the form of SHARING our blessings with others less fortunate? I'm hoping to bring some food over to my friend who will be all alone tomorrow, as he is every day. Is there someone in your life who will be happy eating "onion sandwiches" tomorrow? Why not bring them some of your holiday food, or better yet, invite them over and show your thanks for ALL you have! Happy Thanksgiving to EVERYONE!!!

Payday Thanksgivings

Today my husband became upset, as alot of husbands would, because we were moving and changing some things in the house and garage. Some of HIS things, he pointed out rather forcefully. Awhile later, I saw him reading in his recliner and felt the the Holy Spirit must have guided him to just the right article. He read me a few sentences and it was about how God owns everything we have.

This is a truth that we are likely to forget and has to be one of the reasons God instructs us to return one-tenth of our income to Him. How blessed we are that He only asks for one-tenth! After all, it's all His anyway. This ten percent, or tithe, is also a sign that we love and trust God. It allows God to be our business partner and enables Him to bless the 90% that's left. You wouldn't believe the ways God has looked out for us with our shrinking income these last few years since disability has hit our household!

In these insecure economic times, many are questioning the wisdom of returning to God what is rightfully His share. But for those of us who are aware and convicted of the Biblical requirement, can we really expect God to look out for us financially or to help us become or stay employed, when we refuse to obey Him in this matter of tithing? Think and pray about it if you aren't tithing. And for those of you who already are, rethink the reasons you do it, and let every payday be a thanksgiving to God!