Caregiving for Me

Two weeks ago I came down with a monster cold. It was so bad even the first day, with my wimpy lungs, that I went to see the doctor for some additional medicines. Even though I had already started using my nebulizer and cough expectorant, I knew that prednisone and even an antibiotic would probably be added. And it was.

I still went home with the fear that this cold would not end without a call to 911 when my coughing spasms would turn into a choking episode. With less than half of my lungs functioning due to a deformed chest cavity (scoliosis), I just don't have the pulmonary power needed to cough up phlegm or even a tiny piece of food or water that might get lodged in my windpipe.

Three days later after an intense coughing spell, I had the phone in my hand almost ready to punch the 911, before I started to get my breath back. A week after that I actually did dial the 911 when I started to choke again, but told the paramedics I was alright and they didn't have to come.

The very next morning I had to call 911, when I couldn't get any air due to the phlegm closing off my breathing. Even though I had thankfully started breathing by the time they got there, and was using my nebulizer, they insisted I needed to go in to ER. Still in my nightgown, I thought to ask for my purse as we went out the door.

The worse part of my ambulance ride was when I looked in my purse and didn't see my car keys! Sometimes I just leave them lying by the purse and sometimes they are in. I was terrified that Dean would get in the car and drive himself to the hospital! He would be OK driving even though he hasn't been a licensed driver for fifteen years, but would he actually be able to find his way to the hospital without getting lost? I doubted it.

My cell phone was in my purse, however, so I managed to call my daughter when I got to the hospital. Bless her heart, her dad had called her about what had happened, just as she was getting off her night shift and gotten almost asleep. But she said she was on the way to the hospital. I tried to divert her to our house first, but she was determined to be by my side and was almost there.

The happy ending was that after a few tests and they didn't see pneumonia or any sign of infection, I was allowed to go home before noon, with another round of meds to get filled at the drug store. I was so thankful that my daughter was there to take me home, and the house was still standing when we got there, although Dean had been pretty shook up over it all.

I had assumed that he would go ahead and take his van to his day program that day, but he hadn't been able to get his socks on, so had stayed home. How could this man have taken care of himself, if I had been admitted to the hospital? I hope I never find out. But it was comforting to know that my daughter and son-in-law are here to step up to the plate and help. I even have a nephew fifty miles away, who would have dropped everything to come, had I needed him.

One thing that brought a smile was when Dean and I went to church this weekend, and they handed him a microphone to share a prayer request. He asked that people pray that his wife not have another coughing "spree". Yep, that described it pretty well. Some people have shopping sprees; I have coughing sprees.

I was indeed thankful that prayers did see us both through this eventful week. But as soon as I feel better, I'm going shopping instead.

my "at home" hospital

The Team Challenge

Last night our son-in-law came over to set up a new wireless printer for me. Could have done it myself, but wouldn't have been easy; and besides it was a chance to see the grandkids for an evening.

In order to get the house quieter though while he worked, our daughter took her dad somewhere so it was just the kids and I in the house. Believe me, it was an even trade-off. Two little girls for one big man/child.

The noise factor from the girls was kept confined to the hallway where they ran back and forth with Superman-style capes (really small blankets), trying to run fast enough to make the capes lift like parachutes.

It reminded me of a report I got from our daughter after a recent store trip she had with her dad. She said he challenged someone else riding in a department store power-chair to race him. So believe it or not, they both raced their "buggies" from one end of the store to the other to see whose cart was fastest.

Life itself is a race. Sometimes I feel like retiring my track shoes, but the people around me indicate that I'd better stay in the race awhile longer. God isn't through with this caregiver yet. And I'd better do all I can to stay fit in order to keep up with the team.

Chasing After Dad

We just spent the last two days at a state brain injury conference in Kearney, Nebraska. That would be Dean, our daughter, and I. It was an action-packed time, full of adventures and felt like a big family reunion, since this was the seventh annual one they have had and we've attended.

We three adults shared a motel room this time, but our daughter didn't object too much until she found out how much her dad snores. She knew after last year what her duties were and thought they would actually be simplified by her being in the same room with us. I don't know how many times last year her dad forgot his room-key and they had to borrow one from the desk or come looking for me in the convention center somewhere.

One time last year we found each other in the vendor area. I'm thinking I spotted them first because they were pretty hard to miss. Dean had on his cowboy hat, a towel draped over his shoulder, and, most noticeable, feet that were bare. They were on their way to or from the pool, but had forgotten his roomkey. I came to recognize our daughter's furtive eye-rolling, a carryover from her teens, and would let her lean in to secretly whisper in my ear, "Mom, you're a saint!"

This year started out with a bang too. Or rather a plop. Dean fell full-body on the sidewalk outside her apartment as we were getting ready to leave. He thought he could step down from a foot-high retaining wall like the rest of us, and of course went down like a dishrag. Fortunately, our son-in-law was there to help hoist his 250 plus-lb. body back to an upright position. He wasn't hurt, but we were all certainly placed on red-alert to watch for falls again this time around.

After the first day's busy agenda, we three headed to the pool and spa in the motel for a little relaxation time. Dean was doing alright in the hot tub and then a quick dip in the pool. And then he wanted to go sit on the patio outdoors. It was early evening and getting rather chilly out there, so our daughter and I remained inside, knowing it was no use trying to change his mind. After letting him sit there in our view through the window for a short while, we knew one of us would have to fetch him back inside before he got too chilled.

Our daughter looked longingly at me and said, "Can you do it, Mom? I've been chasing him all day." I started laughing so hard, I could hardly get out my reply. "Well, I've been chasing him EVERY day!" And then we both about split our guts laughing, one of the best coping tools you can bring with you to a full-of-surprises brain injury convention, especially with characters like our "outlaw cowboy" in attendance.

King of the Remote

Warm and Toasty

My daughter felt really bad about leaving her husband with a broken clothes dryer before we left for women's retreat this past weekend. The day we left she discovered that it wasn't drying things right. But he found out the problem and fixed it while we were gone, good handyman that he is.

On her return, after he left for work the next morning, she was feeling bad about having to inform him that the toaster wasn't working either. It was a recently-bought, four-piece toaster, but the bread would just not go down like it should.

Then she noticed that it was unplugged. Here was something even she could fix. She just plugged it in and voila! The bread not only went down, but it started to heat up and toast. Prior to that, she was thinking that even if it wasn't plugged in, at least the bread would go down when you pushed on the lever. But evidently, toasters are mere counter decorations if you don't plug them in. They won't do a thing but look pretty.

And we are just here for decoration too, if we aren't plugged in to the Power of the Universe. Without God, we literally can't do anything. At least not anything of a useful nature. I hope I can remember to stay plugged in, so God can use me. And if He allows me to be pushed down, He will also let me heat up and warm someone else. We'll be warm and toasty together.

The Clueless

Last night at a little after ten o'clock our son-in-law called and asked if we were alright. He was watching the local news on television and it showed the apartment complex at the end of our block with fire trucks and a "haz-mat" team onsite and the entire apartment evacuated outside.

I felt pretty clueless, because we hadn't heard sirens or any kind of alarm, and the action was taking place almost right across the street. How could we be unaware of something that significant almost on our doorstep?

It reminded me of the closeness of Jesus' Second Coming. Will I be totally clueless when that event takes place? Or will I be on my toes and watching for reports, ready to evacuate when needed? Only by reading my Bible and daily talking with God will I be able to hear the sirens on that day. Lord, don't let me be one of the clueless again.

News story about apartment emergency 

Tradition!

We had a pleasant time around here today when my daughter's family came over and grilled our lunch outside for Father's Day. Nothing touches my husband more these days than the mention of food. Especially when it includes meat, which I never cook for him. And to watch the little girls play in the wade pool and later with their dollies on a blanket on the grass was an added joy for all of us.

My daughter Kayla and I were bringing back memories when I put The Fiddler on the Roof movie on while they were here. I have always loved the songs on that musical, and besides, it's about a father. Seemed fitting on Father's Day, right? It was funny to hear both of us belting out the songs, and even mimicking the dances. "...Tradition..."!!!

When we had watched as much of the movie as the menfolk would allow, I reminded Kayla that what her girls were listening to and watching today would be with them for the rest of their lives, just like those songs had become a part of her life from listening to them so much when she was very small. I was sobered to think that my influence and tastes were passed along so easily. "...Tradition...!!!

I pray that all parents, mothers and fathers, will take to heart the seriousness of their responsibility to their children. Is what you are doing with them today worth being passed down to later generations? Because that's how far-reaching our influence is. Even as a grandparent, I share that responsibility. I pray that my influence will always be pure and loving to them. Besides being a responsibility, it's a privilege. "...Tradition...!!!

The Good and the Bad

Dean and I had a special day today. We celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary. According to Dean, no celebration is complete unless it involves eating out, so it was nice to have our son-in-law and daughter come to our rescue and take us out to eat for supper.

For all the joy of the anniversary, there were also some bittersweet moments. Earlier in the day, Dean and I went to visit a friend from years ago who recently had an accident resulting in a traumatic brain injury. It was very emotional for me to go to Madonna Rehabilitation Hospital and see Lloyd in basically the same condition as Dean was when he was there twelve years ago. Lloyd was not very responsive, but from the reports I've heard, he is making good progress in recovering from a coma, similar to the one Dean had following his tractor accident in 1999.

This sure shows how life has its ups and downs. Our wedding gave us many happy memories. But the day of the accident was not so good. We must take the bad along with the good just because we live in a world polluted with sin. But the nice part is that God does not leave us when times get tough. If anything, He draws closer. We just have to look for Him.

Three days after Dean's accident I thought to look at my new medical insurance card and was amazed that the day it became effective was the day of his accident. The thought of it still makes me shiver. God had not deserted us. He was very much in control, when it seemed that only chaos reigned in our lives. But where there is chaos, there is also peace. The bad and the good. Look for it.

Just a Tree

Thirteen years in this house and I've always wanted to do something with this tree in my front yard. My mom even hinted about it when she was still alive, suggesting that it would be a good place to plant hostas. But it's just been such a low priority with everything else to do around here that nothing ever got done to the tree. The weeds that took root and grew around the tree every year were always an eyesore. I tried planting some wildflowers once, but nothing happened.

Today my nephew and son-in-law, in an attempt to please me, got inspired to do something with my embarrassingly ugly tree. So they cut down the weeds, put some plastic down, then some mulch, and straightened up the border. Simple, inexpensive, and not even very time-consuming. But, oh what a difference it made to my front yard! Why did we wait so long?

Indeed, why do I wait so long to do many things in my life? Sometimes I do pull or cut down some bad habit weeds, but if that's all I do, it won't last. The decision has to be made, efforts have to taken, costs have to be paid, and remedial beautification work has to be done. It isn't always easy, but the result will make all the difference.

I'll undoubtedly be making beautification changes to my character till the day I die. Just as the housing projects will never all get done, there will always be character changes calling for my attention.

I'm keeping my eye on those eaves and gutters for the house before next winter, guys. Thanks for keeping this ol' house serviced for me. I lost my handyman husband, but gained a son-in-law and nephew. You are treasures.

A Complete Makeover

Last night my son-in-law came over to give his father-in-law a haircut. Dean had been requesting one a few times and finally got his wish. We were hoping he'd consent to some hair loss in the mustache area, but once again it was a no-go for that one. He also refused an eyebrow trim. We can only dream for a complete "makeover" someday.

Aren't we like that with God though? We're willing to give Him some of our sins, but there are others that we consistently hang onto. There's no rhyme or reason to our letting go. Some things are harder to part with than others. Usually because we just love them more.

We should be willing to go along with God, no matter what He requests from us. And that's all He can do. God isn't in the demanding business. His commandments are actually requests. Even though they aren't optional, if we truly love Him and want to be presentable before the universe.

Help me go along with God in ALL the areas of my life. He wants to give me a "makeover" that will astound the universe. All I have to do is consent.