Our Puzzling Lives

The last few days I've been working on a 750-pc. puzzle on my kitchen table and I must say I forgot how therapeutic it can be to work on such a project. Life has slowed down a lot since Dean's been sleeping so much, and we've been staying home more. So I came across this puzzle when I was cleaning a closet last week, and today I finished it. Or as Dean says, WE finished it. I gave him the last piece to put in.

As I worked on the puzzle, several thoughts came to mind. First of all, our lives are like a puzzle. Two qualities that make puzzle solving possible are patience and perseverance, also necessary for solving life's problems. As I worked on the puzzle, I also noticed how necessary it was to look at things from all angles and perspectives.

Sometimes a piece looks like it will fit, but it doesn't, and you just can't force it in the spot it wasn't designed for. We can try to fit ourselves into spots that God's will hasn't ordained for us, and the picture we end up with is marred, just like my puzzle would be if I tried to fit in pieces that were wrong.

When I was done, I felt like congratulating myself on a such a fine piece of art, even though I wasn't the artist. And likewise God, the Master Artist and Creator, deserves all the praise when our lives end up attractive in any way. But you know, if we lose a piece or two from the puzzle, people will still be able to make out the picture. We shouldn't worry over lost opportunities or mistakes in life. They just happen. God can still use us to reveal His perfect will in the end.

Dean, with his brain injury from the accident, has pieces missing from his brain, but that won't affect his final picture on Resurrection Morning at the Second Coming. I know I'll be able to recognize fully the whole picture of Dean. He's been an interesting puzzle to work with these 37 years we've been married. And God has taught me a lot of lessons along the way.

Called The Blessing of Summer, by Thomas Kincaide

The Last Kiss

Things just aren't working out too well today. I went to start my car this afternoon and evidently the battery is low. Am waiting for my on-call son-in-law mechanic to come by later on and give us a charge. Hope it's nothing major.

Of course, this entire situation is minor compared to a school shooting that happened in an elementary school today in Connecticut. It's all so tragic, losing that many young children all at once. The families involved must be suffering tremendous grief, and most will for a long time.

It helps to put our own lives' problems in perspective and see that they are nothing compared to what some are suffering.

When my caregiving seems more than I can handle, I try to look at it from the perspective of not having anyone to give care to. It gives me the strength to go on, to keep plugging away at our challenges. Those challenges are my purpose for living. I'll not complain, but thank God they are there.

I think a lot of us will give an extra kiss to our loved ones tonight. It could very well be our last.

Party, Party

Yesterday was a stream of visitors, dropping by to wish Dean a happy birthday. The most we had in our living room was five or six, but that was just about right for my attention-deficit husband, for the amount of time they stayed. He handled the extra population quite well. I've always been a fan of "come-and-go". It's the best option for entertaining, when you have limited floor space in your home.

Equally well-behaved was our little dog Minnie. She's as friendly as Dean when it comes to strangers. And she can bark out her wishes almost as loud as Dean too, especially when people show up on our doorstep. But she performed her announcing and welcoming duties very graciously the whole afternoon.

Minnie even provided us with some entertainment when her attempts to get in someone's lap ended with her falling in a small trash can by their chair. She noticed too late that the visitor had a plate of birthday cake already in her lap. The poor dog's look of embarrassment at her predicament was humorous beyond words. I was torn between running for my camera or coming to her rescue and getting her out of the jaws of the trash can. The rescue option won out. I couldn't bear to see her struggle very long, even though we were all getting such a chuckle out of her awkward situation.

I am also thankful we have a God who approaches our mishaps and trials with the same attitude. He can hardly bear to see us struggle, and I'm sure doesn't allow it any longer than necessary to accomplish His all-encompassing will. Either for our own salvation purposes, for someone else's, or for unseen-to-us heavenly objectives. We find ourselves occasionally unable to extricate ourselves from places where only the power of God can rescue us. I'm also glad God doesn't have to rush to get His camera. He's got it all recorded.

So sweet of her to pose for this picture later. This is exactly where she landed, instead of a visitor's lap!

Thanks so much for the delicious cake, Cheryl! Made Dean feel extra special. It was half gone in no time. And would have been all gone, if I hadn't said no to the granddaughters so much.

Youth is fleeting...where do the years go?

Missing Eyeglasses

Yesterday my daughter called and asked if her eyeglasses were still on the dining room table where she left them earlier in the day, when she was visiting here. I remember her distinctly putting them there, so we were both mystified when they showed up missing again from the table.

The first place I looked this time was on Dean's face. (See August 2012 "Connecting the Dots".) He was sporting thin-wired glasses, but they were bifocals, so we deemed him innocent this time. Then I checked the floor under the table and by the computer, but all were empty of anyone's glasses. By now, I was feeling innocent myself. The eyeglasses were evidently somewhere besides my house.

Then this morning as my nephew and I were about to walk out the door by the dining room table to leave for his work, he almost stepped on a pair of wire-framed glasses on the floor. They were invisible, lying on my dark-patterned carpet. It was fortunate that they didn't get crushed underfoot. Somehow they must have gotten knocked off the table and onto the floor, which proved to be a perfect hiding place for them.

God has promised to be a hiding place for us. When we get knocked around by life's trials, when trouble is looking for us, and when the pressures of life are about to crush us, God conceals us protectively amidst the pattern of His will. Seek His will and it will sustain you and lift you up in the end.

Dental Chair Humor

While the rest of the world is seriously consumed with a presidential election and a late-season hurricane, I was entertained today by taking my husband to the university dental school for an evaluation.

It wasn't long before the nurse called me back to his examination room to answer questions about medications and any changes in his health. She did ask Dean if his mouth had been sore. He reported, "Yes, but I keep it filled with candy." I silently laughed at his playful, but sadly truthful, retort, while the two dental students began to lecture him about the harm of eating candy.

After the specialist asked some more questions, she told Dean she'd just like to look in his mouth. He politely replied, "Sure, if that's what you're getting paid for."

When she found the area of his mouth that's been sore, she instructed a dental student to get the camera, and asked Dean if they could take a photo. Trying to keep his mouth open while the student focused the camera, Dean asked them, "Are you going to frame it?" By now, I had a really hard time holding my composure and not shaking with laughter, but didn't want to stand in the way of science, so I kept my mirth to a minimum.

As you can see, there is something to laugh about, even in the midst of a storm. Didn't the Bible say that laughter is good medicine? Nothing like a good dose of laughter to make me glad to be home by the side of my lighthearted, loving husband again, after an equally joyful and relaxing time at Women's Retreat.

Scrambled Eggs on the Floor

I was getting ready for church this morning when Dean asked me what I was fixing him for breakfast. When I said steel-cut oatmeal (which just needed heated up), he said he wanted to fix himself some scrambled eggs instead. Knowing I wouldn't be leaving for a little while, I said for him to go ahead then and do the eggs himself.

That's when disaster struck. As he was taking the eggs out of the refrigerator, the carton, almost full of eggs, made a nosedive out of his hands and onto the floor. What a mess! I don't know what he would have done, if I hadn't been there to clean up the gooey remains. I managed to salvage five or six cracked eggs, which I broke into a frying pan for him to start scrambling for us both to eat. Then I threw out or mopped up the rest of the eggs.

He felt bad enough already, so I refrained from yelling at him for his carelessness. (Wish I had that much patience when I was a young mother.) But then Dean, halfway serious, told me it was really MY fault, since I had told him to fix his own breakfast.

When trials come, do I tend to point my finger at God, even a little too? Even though God has given me freedom to choose, and all the basic necessities of life, I still want to throw the blame onto Him, because He's supposed to be in charge. I hope I can remember that it's our loving, patient God, after all, who cleans up the messes I've pretty much made on my own. Even the accidental ones.

The Dentist

Last week I accompanied my daughter to the dentist's office for a checkup for my two granddaughters. It was a very kid-friendly dentist, so both girls, just 2 and 4, were allowed to sit in small dentist chairs in the same room, just a few feet from each other, with a TV screen to occupy their minds. I'm sure this was to help reduce the anxiety and fear that small children feel at the dentist.

When it was found that Jenna, the oldest, would require some follow-up work, I overheard the dentist telling her momma not to overburden her with the details of the procedures, even though he explained to my daughter just what would transpire on their next visit. The dentist himself would fill her in on just what was going to happen when they arrived for their next appointment. Once again the fear and anxiety factor was taken into account, even in how information was given to these pint-sized patients.

Our heavenly Father is just as mindful of our potential fears about what will happen at the end of time. As these troublesome events approach, He admonishes us to press together, just as sheep in a flock will do when a predator is near. And He is careful to give us just enough information through the prophets as we need to make it through the hard times. We, as children ourselves, would be much too fearful if we knew all the details too soon. But He will tell us just what we need to know, when we need to know it. I'm glad we live in a people-friendly world. God, like a kid-friendly dentist, will do all He can for His children.

The Team

I can't help but think of my mom today. This was her birthday and birthdays were always so important to her. She would be 81 today. My dad's day was just two days before hers and I think they rather enjoyed celebrating their birthdays together. Mom usually made Dad's favorite cake. Yellow with chocolate frosting. Then she might follow with a special dessert that she liked. She made great cream puffs.

One thought I had of my mom today though was how she was able to cope with life. Of course, Jesus was her constant confidante, but she also felt comfortable sharing her burdens with her children. My sister usually had a handle on her aches and pains, from her swollen hands and feet to the pain in her eyes. Even though my sister lived hundreds of miles away, I could find out from her how mom was feeling, because I knew Mom shared that with her.

My brother was her sounding board when it came to marital matters, the many hurts and frustrations that came with living with a high-maintenance man like my dad. He gave her much needed comfort and understanding of those issues from his unique male perspective.

And finally I was there to share her frustrations with being blind those last ten years or so. I was the only one who lived close and was taking her to doctor's appointments and listening to her heartbreaking concerns of not being able to see and how much quality of life it was taking from her.

We were a family team all along and didn't recognize how our combined efforts were lightening Mom's load. But I'm sure it was. Thank you, Lord, for helping us be there for our mom. And she felt our combined presence, I'm sure, right to the end.

Our Last Surviving Tomato

The Last Tomato

We stopped watering our garden over a month ago when the city started enforcing watering restrictions. The tomato plants were about through producing and were looking pretty sorry and soon were pitifully dried up, with just a few marble-sized green tomatoes clinging to the vines.

Then after all summer with no rain we got a whole inch last week and when I let the dog out a couple of days later, I noticed something red on one of the tomato plants. I was shocked to see this one little ripe tomato survivor, just waiting to be picked.

It reminded me of the last days of this earth's history. The Bible says there will be a "time of trouble" (Daniel 12:1). Amos says in ch. 8:11 that there will be a famine, but not of bread, and not a thirst of water, but of hearing the words of the Lord. But a remnant survives, those with the patience of the saints. Revelation 14:12

So, I honor my patient little "remnant" tomato. It gives me faith and courage that God will see us through to the end, even through enormous trials and persecutions.

Fix My Jeans, Please!

I was peacefully on my laptop yesterday when I heard Dean come in the front door from his adult day program. I knew the van that transports him was due anytime. As usual, he was scolding our little, yappy dog at the door, but I heard him say the words "Leave me alone, Minnie, I'm hurting."

I rushed out to the living room to see what had happened and saw him with a paper towel rapidly getting soaked with blood from his finger. Of course, he had fallen somewhere outside between the van and the house--just the short length of our driveway.

Dean's attention wasn't on his hand though. He pointed to his knee, and I was afraid of what injury might lie there too. But he informed me that his concern was for his torn jeans! There was indeed a couple-inch rip in the knee of his Levis. Peering through the hole I could see some blood from a scrape on his knee perhaps, but it didn't seem to be bleeding profusely like his finger.

He wasn't going to allow me access to these wounds, I could tell, so I went to the phone and called his home health agency and they sent his nurse over. Fortunately, it was his regular nurse and she set about getting his two injuries cleaned and bandaged. She had him "all better" within an hour, sitting comfortably in his recliner (fully dressed, without his jeans on, if you can picture that).

Shouldn't we all insist on waiting for the "Real Nurse" to come on the scene when we have an accident in our life? God is on call 24 hours, just like our home health agency. The trial or problem may still be plaguing you, but you and those around you will feel "all better" about the situation after a prayer call and His always rapid response.

Was surprised he didn't ask the nurse to mend his jeans too!

The Tractor Tragedy

This marks an anniversary of sorts. The fact that it falls on the Sabbath makes it all the more poignant. I believe it was on a Friday thirteen years ago that Dean actually had a tractor run over him, causing him multiple life-threatening injuries, including coma and brain injury. So, we celebrated Sabbath on the Labor Day weekend by his bedside in ICU, wondering if he would live or die. And our family has never been the same since. It hasn't been all bad, by any means, but it definitely has been changed from what it was.

When we come to God, we likewise should expect some changes. And it also stems from a life-or-death experience. In many ways, our faith has grown immensely from what, at the time, was an overpowering tragedy.

Tragedy has the power to uplift us, but it also has the power to bring us down. The decision is ours. The attitude we have about even small inconveniences in our life are shaping us for the big stuff. The biggest predictor of success at handling the trials that come to us is the faith and walk with God we have every day.

The trials will come, but they don't have to catch us unawares.

In Our Dreams

Last night I was too tired to blog after babysitting late for the grandgirls, but I just have to report what happened this morning when I got up and walked into the kitchen. Dean was sitting there at the kitchen table reading his library book, but here was the kicker: he was fully dressed in his jeans, shirt, street shoes, and cap!

This may not sound newsworthy, but it is the first time I have seen him dressed completely without assistance for about a year now. When I asked how this amazing feat happened, he said that I had told him to wake up about an hour before and get dressed for his day program. (Obviously, one of his dreams that are too real, at least in his mind. He's had them now and then over the years since his brain injury.)

When I asked how he was able to get dressed all by himself, he just said it was HARD! And he added he was mad at me the whole time he was accomplishing it.

Not unlike the way I feel about God sometimes for making me do things I don't think I can do by myself. When pressed, I suppose all of us can do things we never thought we could do on our own. God is never far away though. Just like I was right there sleeping in the same house, all the while Dean was struggling to get dressed.

And now he's asking me to fix his breakfast. I wish I could tell him in a dream to do it himself. Hmmm...

The Lap of God

I accompanied my oldest granddaughter Jenna (4) to her Sabbath School class program this morning. She just isn't totally comfortable there by herself yet. And since her mother has to attend the class with her younger sister, I was called for "grandma duty" with Jenna.

She sat with the other children and was participating pretty well, until the teacher asked them all to come up and pick a stuffed animal to take to Noah's ark. Any time there's a come-one-come-all event like that she shrinks back, and she came and asked politely to sit on my lap. So, that's where it looked like she'd spend most of the rest of the class, until it was time to slide down the giraffe. Suddenly her shy persona vanished and she jumped up to get in line, ready to climb up and shimmy down the long giraffe's neck.

Sometimes, as a caregiver, I want to retreat to the lap of God, till I'm braver to meet the difficult duties that confront me. Thankfully, He rewards me with a glimpse of His love that encourages me to climb right up and slide down another mountainous trial. And just like the giraffe slide, there is a heavenly "Parent" waiting to catch me as I come tumbling down.

Baking From Scratch

In addition to being the Sabbath, it was also my nephew's birthday yesterday. The day started out special, with our electricity being off all through the house for several hours, due to a power line down, causing a wide neighborhood outage.

Knowing I should have made time to ask this earlier, I thought to ask my nephew what his favorite cake was for his birthday as he was going out the door with a friend. Angel food cake, I was told. Well, I had a whole afternoon ahead of me and a trusted recipe an elderly friend gave me long ago (she always brought one to potluck). So I proceeded to collect the ingredients and get started. I had made it once before myself, I think. I remembered how delicious it had been.

I knew instantly what a labor of love it was going to be, after the first step though. Sift the flour four times. Then add half the sugar and sift another four times. Even the counting was a challenge. The next steps weren't any easier. Separate about a dozen eggs, beat them until foamy, then add the sugar 2 Tbl. at a time with the mixer. THEN fold in by hand the flour and sugar mixture 2 Tbl. at a time too. Only the almond and vanilla flavoring scents wafting up gave me the strength and energy to continue mixing and stirring.

The end product was again delicious. But I can certainly understand why cake mixes have become so popular now. Imagine making all your cakes before we had electric mixers. (I thought of our power outage.) You could afford the extra calories from eating them. You burned them off by working so hard. I still say baking from scratch results in tastier treats too. But, they'd also be eaten in moderation. Who's going to let anyone gobble up something that you put so much work into?!

Like life, the more challenge it is to achieve something, the more rewarded we are for the effort. God knows that we need trials in our life to make us "good". God started us from dust. I'd say that's creating from scratch too. And He knows we're going to be worth it in the end.

Calming the Storm

I just heard about another disaster to fall on a niece of mine. She has four beautiful little daughters, but the two-year-old recently survived a dog attack, with multiple stitches on her face. Very traumatic for the whole family, as they were all there when it happened. But then tonight, it seems that they have had a house fire, destroying a large portion of their house.

We wonder when trials like this just seem to keep happening. If you have a belief in God, these bad experiences can shatter your image of Him. Let alone reduce your trust in Him to protect and keep you.

I've come to the conclusion that even God can't (or more correctly, won't) prevent all disasters though, simply because this is a planet that has rebelled, and Lucifer is temporarily in charge of as much mischief as he can muster. Let's be careful not to blame God for Satan's handiwork.

God, on the other hand, has promised to be with us in hard times. He doesn't always calm the storm, but He is always there to calm us. The comfort and strength He provides may be just what we need to carry us forward, even after the storm subsides. I pray my niece and her family will look to God as the means to survive these ordeals and that they can soon have some normalcy back in their lives.

Spring in Heaven

I wouldn't have thought that my nephew from Florida, where they enjoy greenery and tropical trees all year round, would be so excited about a simple vegetable garden here in Nebraska. After his first winter back up North, he has really been thrilled to work with the soil and witness the growth of tiny seeds and plants that he labored so hard to get started.

I think the seasonal changes we experience here make us appreciate the growth and colors of plants so much more. The harshness of winter weather only enhances the spring fever that captivates so many of us. Our salad with dinner tonight tasted so much better with the radishes that we grew ourselves in our very own yard.

Gardening seems to make us feel closer to God, because without His sunshine and rain, nothing would grow. We are partners with Him in a sense. But another reason I think people in general get so much more excited about gardens here in the North is that it follows a long period of cold, unpleasant weather and nature all around us wakes up and becomes green with life again.

It will be the same feeling when we get to heaven. We'll enjoy it all the more because of the hardships endured here on earth during our lifetimes. It will be like entering the most beautiful springtime, multiplied by infinity. I can't wait to wake up in the springtime of heaven and warm up to His love firsthand.

Our Anchor

Today I got a phone call from the realtor that brought good news for once to our family! At last my parents' house sold, the one we've had on the market almost a year now. The final selling price was significantly less than we were hoping to get at first. But after waiting this long, any amount sounds good.

Here's where I could veer off into a thousand remembrances of my parents and the house that I spent my early years in. I have a picture of me standing in front of it on my first day of school. It will be painful to go to Council Bluffs in the morning and sign all the papers there at the very empty house, but I know God will get me through it somehow.

This past year has had its share of family crises. Our parents were our anchors, and it has felt like we were adrift at first without them. In dealing with these difficult situations, however, my siblings and I are learning that the only anchor we really need is our Lord and Savior. And that is a far more valuable legacy from our parents than the sale of any home. God is truly all we need.

A Parent Feels the Pain

My daughter experienced the most heartbreaking task a mother must endure today. She had to watch her two little daughters undergo medical procedures that were pretty painful. One needed to get some shots and the other had some dental work done. How painful for a mother to be just inches from her children and yet powerless to keep them from hurting and crying out her name.

I think you know where I'm going with this. Picture Jesus on the cross, suffering tremendously, and crying out for His Father. Imagine how much pain the Father was going through as well. Any parent knows this anguish. How much love both Jesus AND the Father must have for us to willingly sacrifice everything for our salvation at Calvary.

But another thought is how close God was at that time. Just as my daughter was hovering over her little ones doing all she could to comfort them, God comes close to us when we are going through trials. Think of His loving, comforting presence the next time you have any kind of painful experience. He feels it with us, as any good parent would.