My Burden Lifter

My only sister, who I love dearly and haven't seen for almost three years, just spent ten days with me. It was such a morale booster to have her here. Even though I was in the same house, caregiving for the same man, it just didn't seem as daunting a task while she was here. And it wasn't because she took over my housekeeping or caregiving. She helped, yes, but I probably ended up doing the same amount of work. It was only her presence that somehow made the work seem lighter.

In the same vein, Jesus has promised to make our burdens lighter by just welcoming His presence into our lives. We still have the same cares of life to worry about, but they seem more bearable, because Jesus is there to share them. I should be as happy about Jesus visiting this household as I was to have my sister for awhile.

It was difficult to say good-bye to her at the airport. But the nice part about God's visit is that He never leaves. And He's the Visitor you don't want to let go. Just like my sister.

Sister's Visit

I'm really getting excited about seeing my sister next week. She's coming here for a week and it will be the first time we've been together since our parents died in 2010. I am all aflutter, making shopping lists, grocery lists, menu lists, to-do lists. "Why all the frantic preparation?" I asked myself this morning. And here's the reasons I came up with:

• My SISTER's coming to visit!!! I'm excited about it because she's my SISTER! (Would be doing the same for you, Brother, by the way.) When you feel a close attachment to someone, you want everything to be just right.
• But, it's more than just wanting everything right for how it will reflect on me. I want the visit to be pleasing to HER. I'll sleep on the floor, if I have to. I want her to be comfortable here, so we can visit, visit, visit. (We usually stay up all night at least once or twice--like kids at a slumber party.)
• I'm rather fond of preparing for her visit. It makes it almost seem like she's here already. One year my sister made the mistake of surprising my parents with a visit. But they were disappointed that they didn't know beforehand that she was coming, because half the pleasure was getting ready for her to come.
• And the last reason I'm planning is because of my caregiver status. Dean is one facet of my life that is hard to plan on. When it comes to Dean, we'll just have to wing it most of the time. But I can have some things in place to ensure a smooth visit. Such as making sure he gets plenty of time to visit with her privately too. Making sure larger family gatherings are kept to a minimum. And making sure we have the foods available that he loves, for distraction purposes. And most important--making sure he doesn't forget his medications!

 All of this preparation also reminded me of the preparations Jesus is making for us to visit, or rather make a permanent stay with Him, in heaven. He said in John 14, "I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself."

I hope Jesus is having as much fun as I'm having this week. Linda, it will be so nice to be with you again. Personal visits are so much nicer than phone conversations. And I'm sure Jesus feels the same about our relationship. Think how different it will be to see Him face-to-face, and not just converse through the "prayer-phone line". "Come, Lord Jesus, come!"

My brother and sister--I'll take a visit with them any time!!!

Reputations

Dean's sister Lynn and brother-in-law John came for a visit today. They live in another state and we seldom get to see each other. His family was having a big family reunion in town, but we had our own little one right here in our cozy living room this morning--a much better place for Dean to be able to reconnect with his only sis.

Lynn helped me identify and mark some of their family photos, a task I hadn't even asked Dean to tackle. It surprised me how his sister could get stories out of him that I hadn't heard before though. As it often happens with dementia, his long-term memory is still pretty intact. I had hesitated to have him help me on his own simply because I know how frustrated he gets with such activities.

There was one relative she was telling us about who I was really interested in--perhaps because of my own breathing and oxygen problems. Dean's grandpa on his father's side was reportedly not a good provider. First of all, this was during the Great Depression. But he was nevertheless considered a good-for-nothing, and forced his grandmother to work and support their children. She later divorced him and continued to provide for her four children on her own. Then Lynn told me that he had asthma.

I instantly thought of my own great grandpa, who had asthma and an almost identical story of not working, leaving my great grandmother to support their eight children during the Depression. He was thought to be pretty worthless by the family, even to this day too.

Having experienced shortness of breath and several episodes of calling 911, I can relate to the debilitating effects of asthma, or any pulmonary problem. Keep in mind that there was no medical support of any kind back then for lung patients--no nebulizers, medicines, or inhalers. I doubt there was even portable oxygen for home use. Both of our grandfathers died at an early age, and from the sound of their stories may have suffered from mental depression as well.

This brought home to me how one's reputation can suffer unjustly and how important our understanding of disabilities is. My hope is that people now will become familiar enough with dementia, and all the other "invisible" disabilities out there, and that the memories we leave will be seen in a kinder light.

And of course, the greatest legacy of all is the life that reflects the Father's love. After all, God has a reputation to guard as well.

Dean and Lynn

 

Ernie's Tribute

Yesterday I attended the funeral of someone many in our church would call a spiritual giant. He was just-turned-98 Ernest Long and he was a favorite for people to visit, because instead of blessing him, you were always the one who felt blessed. This was mentioned repeatedly by those who spoke at his funeral.

Ernie attended my Sabbath School class many times over the past few years. I sometimes made it a point to speak to him privately before class, because he always had a wise thought gem about the lesson that he wanted to make sure got shared with the class.

Pastors found that their prayer for Ernie after a home or hospital visit was followed by a passionate prayer by Ernie for the pastor that often brought a tear to the eye. His name certainly described his prayer life--earnest.

One of the secrets to this fervent prayer life of his may be attributed to a book he shared with me on one of my visits. The author was E.M. Bounds. I found this Christian classic of the nineteenth century a powerful guide to revitalizing one's prayer life and something I really needed at the time.

Ernie's life of devotion to family, his country (as evidenced by his many military honors), and most of all to his faith will be a powerful legacy to all who had the privilege of knowing him. The church yesterday was not packed, but was definitely full. If all of the lives he touched over the past 98 years could have been there, they would have had to rent a sports stadium. May you rest in peace, dear friend, knowing that you were loved and will be sorely missed.

Of all he had, Ernie was most proud of the roses in his yard!

Our Blessed Hope

Some good news and some bad news on the Dean home healthcare front this week. First, we finally landed an appointment with the geriatric psychiatric clinic in Omaha on Valentine's Day. Someone cancelled, so we got their slot. Perhaps they decided to celebrate Valentine's Day instead. In any event, we'll take this opportunity to get another opinion about Dean's slipping health status and what medicines are appropriate for him at this time.

The not-so-good news though is that his platelet count is down. They want to check it again in two weeks. Keeping our fingers crossed on this one. Hoping it doesn't indicate anything too dire.

On a bright note, we had a family outing with Dean and the daughter and granddaughters this past week. It was quite a trip, just fifty miles away, but took us half a day to accomplish. It included a quick run into a lawyer's office for me to sign the tax forms for my parents' final years. Then we met a cousin at Burger King and visited with her for almost an hour. Followed by a quick visit to my parents' graves, where the girls left some "sturdy" plastic flowers. The only kind to survive these cold, wintry Nebraska days.

It seems our entire lives are sprinkled with good and bad news, aren't they? We should never expect this world, so tainted with sin, to be totally without cold, wintry days. But thankfully, the sun doesn't stay away forever. There is an eternal spring to look forward to. And the dimmer our lives become here, the brighter that Blessed Hope becomes.

Donut Overdose

One of our church pastors visited us today. It was so special that he remembered Dean's request of some donuts the last time he was here. The last time he was here he was telling us about his wife's cake decorating class and said he'd bring some cake the next time he came. But Dean let him know that he was especially fond of fresh glazed donuts. So that's what he brought today--some cake, but also some donuts. There were six of them, boxed up neatly, straight from the bakery. They looked and smelled so delicious. A very special treat for us.

As you guessed, Dean proceeded to eat four of them while we sat and visited. It was a good thing he only brought half a dozen, instead of a dozen. After the pastor left, I talked Dean into giving me half of the next donut to prevent him from having five in a row. And I quickly ate the last one too, just to remove the temptation.

I'm thankful for a God who hears my requests too, no matter how silly, or inconsequential, they may be. God wants to please us. We just have to look at the beautiful and fantastic world He created for our enjoyment to know that. Help me, Lord, to use your gifts as you intended.

(I doubt the pastor intended for Dean to overdose on donuts today. But not to worry. I think his stomach is made of iron.)

Under Control

The other day I went to visit someone in a nursing care facility. The gentleman is in his nineties, but has hopes of going back to his own home after enough therapy there. Since I had a little time on my hands after the visit, I thought I would scope out the dementia unit and had someone from admissions give me a tour.

I don't know what prompted me to ask for a tour. Dean, my husband, is still so young. But we don't know how fast his dementia will progress or how long my health will permit me to take care of him. I just pray that Dean won't have to be in a place like that for long, as comfortable and attractive as it was.

In any event, I am just trying to leave it in the Lord's hands. His timetable was so perfect for my parents' end time a couple of years ago. As stressful as the time was for us all, God knew exactly how much care we were capable of giving and exactly how much suffering they were able to endure.

God really is the perfect Caregiver. And He has it all under control.

What Families Do

Dad. Uncle. Brother-in-law. The man who's coming for a last-minute visit this weekend will find many family members vying for his attention. We are looking forward to his advice (as Dad), his teasing (as Uncle), and his handyman expertise (as brother-in-law). He will be one busy man, but I gather he's looking forward to the adventure too with his boring assignment in Kansas City looming in front of him for a few more weeks.

That's what families do though. They help each other. They receive help from each other. And no one keeps count. That's how it should be in our churches too. Church is another support system to rely on. And so important, especially if your biological family lives far away. I don't see how people can live without them. It keeps you from being too invested in yourself or even your own immediate family. We are made to mingle. And God gave us a whole day every week to do it. Let your next Sabbath be about family.

Why Church Matters

Nothing of significance rocked our day today. We had home church again. Discussed the Sabbath School lesson, sang a few songs, and listened to two sermons on CD's. Then I fixed a big meal, to simulate the potluck dinner we missed. All in all, it was a regular worshipful Sabbath, except for the fact that we didn't get past our front door. I asked Dean what he misses most about going to church and he said visiting with people. So when my foot gets better, I will have to make sure that we go visit people more often.

I've asked myself if seeing other people is really an important reason for going to church? And I have to admit that it is a tremendous part. You can't find a substitute for personal eye-to-eye contact with someone else. Facebook just doesn't hold a candle to it. The Lord meant for us to be social beings. We were built for interaction. That is how the gospel was and is spread and what we'll be spending an eternity in heaven doing.

Here's a quotation we read together today that verifies this:
 “As His representatives among men, Christ does not choose angels who have never fallen, but human beings, men of like passions with those they seek to save. Christ took upon Himself humanity, that He might reach humanity. Divinity needed humanity, for it required both the divine and the human to bring salvation to the world. Divinity needed humanity that humanity might afford a channel of communication between God and man.”—Ellen G. White, The Desire of Ages, p. 296.

There's no substitute for going to church. It's God's chosen vessel for reaching the world.

92 Years Young

Today Dean and I visited a friend of mine, 92 years young, who had a stroke recently and now resides in an assisted living home. I call it a home, rather than a facility, because it definitely had the feel of a home. I like that. Nobody wants to reside in a place that resembles a hospital, even though sometimes the level of nursing care needed calls for that environment.

The lady we visited seems to have adjusted well to her new living arrangement, although she loved having her own apartment for as long as she did. Before her stroke, she had a unique ministry. She cut out storytelling felts for missionaries to bring to children in other countries. It was alot of work to cut out and assemble those large sets of felts, but she worked at it with a passion. And few people knew of her immense undertaking.

Since she has moved into the assisted living home, she has changed her missionary goals and now considers herself a missionary right where she's at. She no longer is able to cut the felts because of the stroke, but she is a great Christian witness to her new friends there. She was an inspiration to Dean and I, and our visit was meant to benefit her. I think God knew she was ready for a rest, but He still allows her to serve Him in a meaningful way by telling others of her faith. How willing are we to let God guide us in the choice of a ministry and be satisfied with His choice as she has done?

Sunshine Visiting

I did some visiting today. Not just your ordinary "catching-up-with-friends-how-are-you-today" kind of visiting. This was special for two reasons: my granddaughter was with me--and the people we visited were people who don't get alot of visitors or even get out of their home very often.

It's such a blessing to bring a little sunshine into someone else's life. My little sunshine's name is Jenna and she's three years old. I want her to know the joy of giving a little of herself like this. She's still rather shy in public settings, but I find that she will warm up to strangers one at a time.

Alot of us adults are the same way. You would never catch us in front of a crowd performing a song or delivering a sermon (although there's nothing wrong with that, if you can). But our light can still shine in very small, and sometimes dark, places. As a matter of fact, the dark is where the light of Jesus' love is needed most. My goal is to find some dark place every day, just so I can have the joy of lighting it up!