Eyeglasses Search

The other night found Dean and I once again searching for a misplaced item. His eyeglasses had been missing for a couple of days and I was finally determined to look everywhere for them. He thought they must be in his eyeglass case because it was missing too.

Normally he keeps the case on his bedside stand. So I proceeded to scour that area first. Standing on my head practically to see if it had fallen at the head of the bed or even under the bed. With no success there, I fanned my search out to other areas of the bedroom and then all rooms of the house.

How totally ridiculous I felt when Dean came to bed that night. He lifted one of his two pillows to fluff before lying down, and you guessed it...there was the glasses case! Safely tucked under his pillow.

When trials have come in the past to this household, I've often wondered where God is. No matter how frantically I've searched for God though, it's usually not until I lay down to "rest" that His presence becomes obvious.

Perhaps this is why God gave us a "day of rest". He mysteriously does seem easier to find on the day He blessed for that purpose. Some say that keeping the Sabbath is obeying through our works, but true Sabbath observance is not about works--not about searching frantically on our own--but resting in Jesus and what He's done for us already.

The Ultimate Snow Day

Everyone looks forward to a "snow day" now and then when schools and jobs implore you to stay home and be safe from the frigid weather. We had one again this week, and I must say it was a welcome but brief reprieve from our daily routine. As we tend to linger in bed a bit longer in the morning, we have mental images of lounging by a warm fire and sipping on hot chocolate all day.

However, I found myself rescheduling appointments and finding out when the next meeting that was cancelled might reconvene. And most annoying was that the same caregiving tasks needed to be done, leaving me little time to even make that hot chocolate, let alone sip on it.

I'm sure even schoolchildren were disappointed to discover that their school assignments were not overlooked that day, but squeezed tightly into their already heavy schedules.

This has left me with a new appreciation of heaven. When the Lord declares a "snow day" up there (and I have a hunch it might be about every seventh day--Isaiah 66:23), we will truly have a rest and a reprieve from all the normal, but pleasant, duties that await us in our new home. Praise to God for designing and declaring the ultimate "snow day".

Reminders

Been so busy this week taking care of myself that I haven't had time for much blogging. A monster cold came on like a lamb, but soon showed itself as a lion, and set me reeling again with two episodes of coughing that ended up as choking, near-911 calls. (Praise the Lord, this is the first cold I've had since last February though!)

Most of you know about my pulmonary restrictive disease, causing me to be on oxygen part of the time. My deformed chest cavity from scoliosis doesn't give me the room I need to breathe. When asked by the nurse if I was short of breath, it was tempting to report that all my breaths were short. I haven't had a deep breath in years, maybe never really. Wouldn't know one if it hit me!

But this blog isn't about me. It's about my caregiving life with my hubby dear. After returning home after a six-hour emergency room visit, my daughter (MY caregiver for the day) gave her dad the low-down on not overworking her momma while she's sick. Her lecture really seemed to influence his behavior these past few days. He has been much less needy himself and more observant of my needs, constantly asking what he can do to help.

One thing I've discovered with my illnesses though is that I need reminders for my care. Not taking my medicine or breathing treatments at regular intervals gets me in trouble every time. Seeing my medical arsenal on the washing machine may have reminded Dean of the seriousness of my condition too. It looked like this:

Living in a household with someone who has memory deficits keeps me looking for memory aids for both of us. I have to be doubly cognizant of remembering appointments, medicine times, getting bills paid on time, etc., etc.

How nice that God placed one reminder for us that happens at regular intervals, making it even easier to remember. How important to remember our "weekly date" with Him! He actually blessed a certain day and placed it in the Ten Commandments, so we would never lose it. What could be easier?

Peace and Quiet

Don't know why I've been in such a dark mood. Yesterday's stop at a rehab center with Dean, which included visiting someone we know in the dementia unit, was rather unnerving to me. That was probably part of it. Just couldn't explain why I was feeling so out-of-sorts lately.

Today Dean had to go get more blood drawn to check his platelets, which were low the last time. And then on to visit his podiatrist for a regular nail clipping. I asked Dean to go into the doctor's office by himself, so I could brood for awhile by myself in the car. I even told him that's what I was going to do.

Just those few moments alone helped. All I did was sit in the peace and quiet. When I felt somewhat recharged I went in to the waiting room till he was done with the doctor. I'm not sure it totally did the trick, but it did feel good to be alone for just a bit. A caregiver has to get respite anyway she can.

I thank God for opportunities of refreshment and renewal. God knows we all need them. I'm sure that's why He gave us the Sabbath. You don't have to be a caregiver to experience Sabbath Rest. It's built right into our week. And it's ours for the taking.

Spinning Tires

As always, with the first, fresh snow on our streets, I joined the many cars today who found themselves spinning their tires and not getting enough traction to make it out into the intersection after stopping. At least not with the first try. One is forced to rock back and forth, going from drive to reverse, turning the front tires different directions, in embarrassing attempts to grab onto something that allows you to move forward with the traffic.

That's kind of how my whole week has felt. The challenges of Dean's medicines, their side effects versus their benefits, getting his lift chair approved, searching the internet, playing phone tag with doctors, nurses, the pharmacist, the medical supply store, and not really getting anywhere. I feel like I just can't get any traction and get myself out of this slippery slide of caregiving.

But thankfully, tonight is the beginning of the Sabbath. A whole day designed to help me get some traction and move on with my life with a renewed sense of purpose and gratitude. When the Sabbath is done, I'll feel a sense of relief once again. Just like it felt when I finally got into the intersection today and started moving toward my destination. And it especially feels good when your destination is heaven.

Kisses

This has been a super busy day for me. Rushing around getting ready for Dean's birthday party tomorrow afternoon. He was at his adult day program and that allowed me to get much more done. Keep in mind that with my shortness of breath, it takes me twice as long to do half as much. So I am just now winding down as the Sabbath hours begin.

One of the things I did today was bake some macaroon cookies, which have always been Dean's favorite. I saw a recipe in a magazine that had little Hershey's kisses in the center of them and it looked much easier than my own recipe, so thought I'd give them a try.

Dean was ravenously hungry when he came home, so I gave him a few of the coconut cookies that didn't look the best. Later, I was disappointed to find the little trash can by his recliner full of coconut that he had spit out. He said he couldn't chew them. Oh, great, I make coconut cookies and now discover that he can't chew coconut with his eight remaining teeth. I guess he can just enjoy the Hershey's kisses that were left over. At least they will melt in his mouth. But it just won't be the same.

God created a beautiful world for His children, including me. How disappointed He must have been when Adam and Eve had to leave the Garden because of sin. There is still a glorious creation of natural beauty to enjoy. But it just isn't the same. Sabbath is a great reminder of our Paradise lost and our Paradise regained. For now, we'll settle for a kiss from God, but later on we'll get the "whole cookie".

They really are tasty, if you like coconut!

Time Confusion

Today we gained an hour in our day by turning the clocks back an hour. Some people actually got to sleep an hour longer, or at least it felt that way. But people with dementia already have enough trouble keeping track of time. It's a shame we do this to confuse them even more, let alone the rest of us who are willing to admit that it just doesn't make any sense to go through the ritual of changing all our clocks twice a year.

So many people are disgruntled with the system of daylight savings time. When man fools with time reckonings it often leads to confusion though, doesn't it? For instance, for decades and even centuries, man has been confused about the Sabbath and Sunday, which has come to be called the Lord's Day. It hasn't been that long ago when people actually referred to Sunday as the Sabbath. Now people are openly aware that they are not keeping the seventh-day Sabbath by worshiping on Sunday, but they feel that church tradition has sanctified the practice.

Whatever day you choose to worship on, keep in mind that when man, through tradition or legislation, intervenes with God-ordained time systems, it results in confusion. Just like the way we confuse ourselves twice a year with daylight savings time.

Breaking Bread

I'm so glad we have a small gathering to go to on most Friday nights, the beginning of the Sabbath. A place for Dean to be with some of his church friends and a time to share the study of God's Word. Dean has been missing that at church the last few months due to his dementia issues, so I'm thankful he still gets a small taste of church life at our friends' house most weeks. They are so special for providing us with that, for being supportive of Dean's needs, and for letting us both have a taste of Christian social life again. Some nights we even share a meal together, usually something simple like soup or "haystacks", and that is extra special.

The book of Acts tells of the early Christians "breaking bread from house to house" (Acts 2:46). And they did it "with gladness and singleness of heart."

I would encourage all church members to not be shy about inviting people into your homes. Your house doesn't have to qualify for a Better Homes and Gardens photo op. And your cooking doesn't have to match the chef of a quality high-class restaurant. Your guests will feel special just because you invited them.

I know we do.

Serve Me NOW

This morning when I got to church I went straight to my granddaughter's Sabbath School class to let the leader there know that I would be willing to tell the Bible story with the felts as part of their program. He had asked me a couple of weeks ago if I was interested in doing that, and I wasn't sure then. But after some thought and prayer, it made sense to go ahead and accept the invitation, thinking they would add me to their schedule for some future week.

Well, the leader was a substitute today and she asked if I would like to do it TODAY. Not quite prepared to be used so soon, I agreed and busily started pulling out the felts and looking over the story. I didn't notice till it was almost time for my story that my granddaughter had slipped into class a little late. For once she sat up right close to me, her teacher, instead of sitting on the fringes like she usually does. She looked so happy to see her grandma telling the story.

Not only that, but a little girl I didn't even know grinned at me during the fellowship meal later, and said I was her teacher. It was such a good, familiar feeling to be recognized by the children in church again. I have missed that since retiring from being a school librarian.

From this experience, I've learned that when God calls us to do something, even with just a simple request from a church member like I was given, don't hesitate to say yes. God doesn't call the prepared. He calls the willing. And you might be needed sooner than you think!

Jenna in red--last year's Christmas program--love them all!

The Pill Organizer

Having just retrieved Dean's new pill organizer that his nurse filled earlier in the week, and replaced it with the empty one I am reminded that today, Sunday, is truly the start of a new week. When you look at most calenders I also find that Sunday does not come at the end, but at the beginning. It's even referred to as the first day of the week in dictionaries.

When I read the Ten Commandments, it's like having a pill organizer. In the very center of it, we are told with great detail to remember something that involves a weekly reminder. The Sabbath reminds us of our Creator. The world was created in six days, and we are invited to share a time of rest with the Creator of the universe. We are able to rest on that day, because it was the day God blessed.

Daniel 7:25 speaks about a world power that will change times and laws. Don't underestimate the power of the master Deceiver. I believe he has been at work on this for a very long time, with much success.

The Tractor Tragedy

This marks an anniversary of sorts. The fact that it falls on the Sabbath makes it all the more poignant. I believe it was on a Friday thirteen years ago that Dean actually had a tractor run over him, causing him multiple life-threatening injuries, including coma and brain injury. So, we celebrated Sabbath on the Labor Day weekend by his bedside in ICU, wondering if he would live or die. And our family has never been the same since. It hasn't been all bad, by any means, but it definitely has been changed from what it was.

When we come to God, we likewise should expect some changes. And it also stems from a life-or-death experience. In many ways, our faith has grown immensely from what, at the time, was an overpowering tragedy.

Tragedy has the power to uplift us, but it also has the power to bring us down. The decision is ours. The attitude we have about even small inconveniences in our life are shaping us for the big stuff. The biggest predictor of success at handling the trials that come to us is the faith and walk with God we have every day.

The trials will come, but they don't have to catch us unawares.

Remember to Forget

It seems like there is something I forgot to tell my daughter the last time we talked on the phone today. How annoying to not remember something that might be important. It feels like it was something important, but for the life of me, I can't recall what it was I wanted to tell her.

Imagine what it must be like for people with dementia, brain injury, or anyone with short term memory loss. How totally disabling for my husband to not be able to remember what he had at his last meal, or even whether he had a meal. To constantly have to remind himself what day it is by posting it in several places around the house, looking at his watch, or asking me, his caregiver.

There is something Dean will not let himself forget though. And that is to tell me and show me his love. He does it multiple times throughout the day with hugs and kisses and verbal and written I love you's. When something is that important to you, you don't let your memory be an excuse for not getting it done.

God has asked His people to remember something too. A day when He wants us to love Him multiple times, just like Dean. Sabbath is a day we've been asked to remember, a day to draw especially closer to Him and forget that we have a care in the world.

Now that's something we would all love to forget...the cares of the world.

The Lap of God

I accompanied my oldest granddaughter Jenna (4) to her Sabbath School class program this morning. She just isn't totally comfortable there by herself yet. And since her mother has to attend the class with her younger sister, I was called for "grandma duty" with Jenna.

She sat with the other children and was participating pretty well, until the teacher asked them all to come up and pick a stuffed animal to take to Noah's ark. Any time there's a come-one-come-all event like that she shrinks back, and she came and asked politely to sit on my lap. So, that's where it looked like she'd spend most of the rest of the class, until it was time to slide down the giraffe. Suddenly her shy persona vanished and she jumped up to get in line, ready to climb up and shimmy down the long giraffe's neck.

Sometimes, as a caregiver, I want to retreat to the lap of God, till I'm braver to meet the difficult duties that confront me. Thankfully, He rewards me with a glimpse of His love that encourages me to climb right up and slide down another mountainous trial. And just like the giraffe slide, there is a heavenly "Parent" waiting to catch me as I come tumbling down.

Baking From Scratch

In addition to being the Sabbath, it was also my nephew's birthday yesterday. The day started out special, with our electricity being off all through the house for several hours, due to a power line down, causing a wide neighborhood outage.

Knowing I should have made time to ask this earlier, I thought to ask my nephew what his favorite cake was for his birthday as he was going out the door with a friend. Angel food cake, I was told. Well, I had a whole afternoon ahead of me and a trusted recipe an elderly friend gave me long ago (she always brought one to potluck). So I proceeded to collect the ingredients and get started. I had made it once before myself, I think. I remembered how delicious it had been.

I knew instantly what a labor of love it was going to be, after the first step though. Sift the flour four times. Then add half the sugar and sift another four times. Even the counting was a challenge. The next steps weren't any easier. Separate about a dozen eggs, beat them until foamy, then add the sugar 2 Tbl. at a time with the mixer. THEN fold in by hand the flour and sugar mixture 2 Tbl. at a time too. Only the almond and vanilla flavoring scents wafting up gave me the strength and energy to continue mixing and stirring.

The end product was again delicious. But I can certainly understand why cake mixes have become so popular now. Imagine making all your cakes before we had electric mixers. (I thought of our power outage.) You could afford the extra calories from eating them. You burned them off by working so hard. I still say baking from scratch results in tastier treats too. But, they'd also be eaten in moderation. Who's going to let anyone gobble up something that you put so much work into?!

Like life, the more challenge it is to achieve something, the more rewarded we are for the effort. God knows that we need trials in our life to make us "good". God started us from dust. I'd say that's creating from scratch too. And He knows we're going to be worth it in the end.

Drought?

One has to wonder about the incredibly hot temperatures we've been having. Everyone mostly worries about how uncomfortable it is outside, but no one is thinking much about how this will affect our water supply.

In this country we haven't a clue what kind of suffering a drought could mean. Drought is what happens in poor countries, and is followed by intense thirst and hunger by a large share of the population. Surely our water that comes so effortlessly through our water taps would never be affected by such a force of nature.

This is how most of our disasters fall on us though. We think it will never happen to us. Including Dean's tractor accident. Who would have thought that one careless moment could be such a life-changer for him?

The Sabbath makes it easy to identify blessings though. By slowing down the pace of life and looking at nature--after all, it is a celebration of creation--you are forced to see things in your life that would otherwise go unnoticed. Like that cool water pouring into your glass at the kitchen sink. Think about it next time you pour. Along with your ability to remember five minutes later that you drank it.

We are surrounded by blessings, even when it's 100 degrees out.

A Good Custom

It was so nice of the pastor to bring communion to Dean today. He and the new student pastor came, just as promised on the phone to Dean this past week, and we held our own private communion service here at home. Dean has not been attending church for some time now, due to some complications with medicines, having so many falls, and just his increased dementia issues.

It has been less stressful for me to celebrate our Sabbaths alone, but lately Dean has OK'ed me to attend by myself, and so long as I'm comfortable leaving him for that long, I'll keep going on my own for now.

It pains me to think of Dean not attending church though, as it has been a part of his life since he was born. His parents were staunch attenders. And so were Dean and I while raising our daughter and all through our marriage. Even when Dean was living a not-so-stellar lifestyle, he was still in church every time the doors were open. He especially misses the fellowship now, a part of church life that some don't treasure nearly enough.

We should all cherish our freedom of public worship more than we do. One never knows when or how the privilege could be taken away.

Luke 4:16 "...as His custom was, He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day..." Like Jesus, attending church is evidently a habit we should all get accustomed to.

P.S. Any church  members who would like to visit Dean would certainly be welcome!

Battle Position

I'm taking a cold lying down today. Seriously, I don't feel like getting off this pillow, so guess I'll stay and do battle in a reclining position. The only thing that gets me to rise is a coughing spell or to blow my nose, and these are becoming more frequent as the day progresses. My colds morph me from a well person, almost instantly to a very ill and frail old lady. I've been on oxygen so much today, I may float away into a cloud by tomorrow.

I can only hope for a short duration cold. But that is the exception, rather than the rule around here. So, guess I'll get back to my battle station and pray myself well. God knows when the caregiver needs care. Being the Sabbath, I think I'll rest on that promise.

Whale of a Time!

It was great fun being the fill-in for mommy in Sabbath School this morning for my two granddaughters. When it was time for the big cardboard "whale" to "swallow Jonah", little Julia jumped from her seat and proceeded to crawl through the whale's "belly" from the wrong end! This caused a bottleneck for the kids who had started crawling through the other end to exit from the whale's mouth. I thought for a minute I would have to crawl in there myself to bring her out, but fortunately she listened to the teacher's directions and backed out gracefully on her own. (Actually, she WAS following the Bible narrative when you think about it; Jonah went in the mouth and came out that way too.)

There were other directions that Julia was not as prompt to respond to. And that was anything her older sister suggested or tried to guide her to do. Invariably, Julia did the opposite of what sister proposed.

I wonder if I am as apt to listen to some people's advice as I am to others'. It really does depend on who the person is, doesn't it? I pray that I can be the type of grandmother, mother, wife, sister, and aunt that the valued people in my life will want to listen to. However, I realize that I can't be that for everyone all the time. That's why God recommends a multitude of counselors. We need several people in our lives to give us advice and direction, including and especially those in our church family. I praise God for giving me family of both kinds.

Because we all need direction. You don't want to cause a bottleneck in the belly of the whale now, do you?

You can see the "whale" behind the boat on the left here. 

And this is Julia about to go up for her birthday celebration a few weeks ago.

A Not-so-busy Day

This was a very relaxing day for me. At home all morning by myself with no errands to run. Just some light housekeeping and a few phone calls to make. Consequently, I'm lacking something to share in this blog.

I thank the Lord for keeping me busy most days, but also for days that aren't so busy that show me what I lack.

And that IS something to share. Because that is, in a nutshell, the purpose of the Sabbath. A day, not so busy, that shows me what I lack.

Welcome to my house, Lord of the Sabbath.

Lemon Meringue Pie

One of my Mother's Day gifts was a homemade lemon meringue pie, which I announced as something I would especially like. After two tries at making the meringue, however, we were almost ready to call it quits because the egg whites just were not cooperating at all to form the stiff white peaks they were supposed to. But I remembered that there were enough eggs from the dozen I had bought, which were from cage free hens and all natural, and I was positive they would make a difference. And sure enough, they made a beautiful meringue.

Beginnings are so important. Where those eggs came from, the environment the chickens lived in, and the food they ate, made all the difference in the quality of the eggs we needed for our cooking.

And this is the reason we honor our mothers today. They gave us the needed foundation for our success as adults. It's where we got our beginnings. As God requires that we recognize His role in our beginning by keeping the Sabbath--"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth," He also enjoins us to recognize our family beginnings by honoring our fathers and mothers.

Thank your mother...no matter what kind of meringue you turned out to be.