Baking From Scratch

In addition to being the Sabbath, it was also my nephew's birthday yesterday. The day started out special, with our electricity being off all through the house for several hours, due to a power line down, causing a wide neighborhood outage.

Knowing I should have made time to ask this earlier, I thought to ask my nephew what his favorite cake was for his birthday as he was going out the door with a friend. Angel food cake, I was told. Well, I had a whole afternoon ahead of me and a trusted recipe an elderly friend gave me long ago (she always brought one to potluck). So I proceeded to collect the ingredients and get started. I had made it once before myself, I think. I remembered how delicious it had been.

I knew instantly what a labor of love it was going to be, after the first step though. Sift the flour four times. Then add half the sugar and sift another four times. Even the counting was a challenge. The next steps weren't any easier. Separate about a dozen eggs, beat them until foamy, then add the sugar 2 Tbl. at a time with the mixer. THEN fold in by hand the flour and sugar mixture 2 Tbl. at a time too. Only the almond and vanilla flavoring scents wafting up gave me the strength and energy to continue mixing and stirring.

The end product was again delicious. But I can certainly understand why cake mixes have become so popular now. Imagine making all your cakes before we had electric mixers. (I thought of our power outage.) You could afford the extra calories from eating them. You burned them off by working so hard. I still say baking from scratch results in tastier treats too. But, they'd also be eaten in moderation. Who's going to let anyone gobble up something that you put so much work into?!

Like life, the more challenge it is to achieve something, the more rewarded we are for the effort. God knows that we need trials in our life to make us "good". God started us from dust. I'd say that's creating from scratch too. And He knows we're going to be worth it in the end.

Calming the Storm

I just heard about another disaster to fall on a niece of mine. She has four beautiful little daughters, but the two-year-old recently survived a dog attack, with multiple stitches on her face. Very traumatic for the whole family, as they were all there when it happened. But then tonight, it seems that they have had a house fire, destroying a large portion of their house.

We wonder when trials like this just seem to keep happening. If you have a belief in God, these bad experiences can shatter your image of Him. Let alone reduce your trust in Him to protect and keep you.

I've come to the conclusion that even God can't (or more correctly, won't) prevent all disasters though, simply because this is a planet that has rebelled, and Lucifer is temporarily in charge of as much mischief as he can muster. Let's be careful not to blame God for Satan's handiwork.

God, on the other hand, has promised to be with us in hard times. He doesn't always calm the storm, but He is always there to calm us. The comfort and strength He provides may be just what we need to carry us forward, even after the storm subsides. I pray my niece and her family will look to God as the means to survive these ordeals and that they can soon have some normalcy back in their lives.

In His Arms

The nurse came today to evaluate Dean after his fall this weekend. She usually comes on Thursday, but I knew she'd want to see him before then, since he has complained of pain in his ribs again. I think it is getting better each day though, so the damage must be minimal. I was glad I wouldn't have to take him to see a doctor. Am not feeling up to much myself with this cold still raging in me.

I was just looking at my old calenders  to see how many colds I have had the past few years. I've been marking them down. The amazing thing was that I never had a cold that interfered with taking care of my parents the year I was caregiving for them. But after both of the funerals were over, I caught three bad colds almost on top of each other.

Now it could possibly be explained that I was operating on adrenalin and it might have boosted my immune system. But I actually did get one or two mild colds that year during times that my care wasn't needed as badly. Once when my sister was here to help.

No, I think it was God putting a protective hand on me. Giving me the strength and health I would need to do intense work that I still can't believe I was able physically to perform. God was very close to our whole family when we needed it. I picture Him carrying us in His arms and leaving only one set of footprints in the sand, as a famous poem depicts.

How close we are when we are in someone's arms. I know He's still walking beside me now and the future holds no fear. He's going to see us through it.

Me and my oxygen in North Carolina in 2011--lots of footprints here!

Support for Caregivers

I've been toying with the idea of starting a caregiver support group again. Nothing noble about it. I think I will be its biggest beneficiary. I could really use another night off once a month. I wouldn't expect many caregivers to be there; it's hard to get away every month. But it's just good to have an evening out yourself now and then to meet with others who share similar challenges. Or even who have shared them in the past. I still like to talk about caring for my parents, even though my focus is now totally on my husband. It's a good way to get inspiration, support, and affirmation from each other.

Even though we have a Father in heaven to support us, God knew the value of the human element too. That's why He sent His Son down to earth to reach us on the human level.

Attending a support group is not a sign of weakness. It's an indication that you know where to find strength, also known as support. And these days I gotta' find it anywhere I can.

Caregiver Woes

It has not been an easy day for this caregiver. My husband's appetite, although somewhat better since we lowered one of his meds, is still through the roof. He is asking me for something to eat repeatedly during the day, and it gets old. I'm still battling a chest cold myself, but that doesn't mean any lightening of my workload around here, including the constant worry about finances. And now he just got mad when I wouldn't give him one of my cough drops!

I'm tempted to think of him as a demanding, selfish old man, but then I remember all the hugs and "I love you"s he has also showered me with during the day and I'm reminded that this is just part of the dementia. He isn't trying to be a burden, and it would hurt him fiercely if I thought of him that way.

So I'll just try to take a deep breath, put it all in perspective, and pray for patience and strength to keep myself together for one more day. After all, look at what the good Lord puts up with in me.

Staying Connected

There's nothing like the sinking feeling when you discover that your supplemental oxygen was turned off all night and you were breathing with a Bi-PAP and some flimsy stuff they call room air. Instantly, I just wanted to re-do the whole night--to go back to bed and start over. Does this mean I start out the day with fatigue, instead of ending it that way?

I tried not to let it matter, but questioned my stamina all through the day. Amazingly, little difference was noticed, but how many nights would I be able to pull this off and not have my blood gases suffer? I'm not willing to find out.

This thinking got me to wondering how long it would be for me to miss God, if He were to disappear from my life. Would I notice right away? Would I want to start over? What difference would it make for my strength and stamina for daily living? Just as with my oxygen, I'm not willing to try.

It may be called supplemental oxygen, but we all know it is vital. And God is no different. He not only gave us the breath of life when He created us, but He IS the Breath of Life when we are born again. One is for our mortality, and the other for our immortality. I choose to keep my life support for both every day. And to make sure I'm connected to Him when I go to bed and when I get up in the morning. My prayer check. Gotta' stay connected.

My Strength

I just got back from babysitting tonight for my granddaughters. It was such fun to be with them for all their evening home routines before bedtime. We read stories and sang songs. There was also the satisfaction that I was giving some time off for their mommy and daddy. They hadn't had that in awhile, so I was glad I could help.

There was one point that I wasn't sure I could measure up. Little Julia fell asleep in my lap and I wasn't sure I could get up and carry her to bed. But I tried and the old body cooperated. There was "lift off".

Another time I remember doubting my ability was when I had to carry Jenna, she's the older one, clear from my car into my house. And we all know kids weigh more when they're asleep.

Thank God for bodies that still function well when we really need them. The older you get the more you find yourself saying, "My strength comes from the Lord." And so do these beautiful children we call "grands".

Strength to Serve

This week has been crazy. I've been "laid up" with a bum foot, and although I've felt pretty helpless, having to ask for things as simple as a glass of water, I've also found that I'm still able to do the really important things I enjoy doing. I've visited with someone in the hospital via telephone. I've had online conversations with friends who have cancer and who have lost loved ones. Also proofread some articles for the church newsletter. Tomorrow I'll be "attending" a board meeting via speaker phone. Thank goodness for technology.

Tonight was the ultimate activity by proxy though. It was the night for our monthly brain injury support group meeting. I was supposed to facilitate the meeting, but that was impossible because of all the stairs to climb to get to the meeting room. Instead I asked the presenter to facilitate the meeting and she said that was no problem. Then, as I normally do, I called those on my list to remind them of the meeting. It was our month to bring refreshments, so I sent my daughter to buy them. Then my husband took them, along with the name tags, the sign-in sheet, and the group guidelines we read out loud at the beginning of the meeting. It honestly felt like I was right there, even though I had to stay home.

I am so grateful to the Lord for allowing me to serve Him, even in my not-to-be-desired feeble condition. It reminds me of the verse in Joel 3:10 "...let the weak say, I am strong." Tomorrow I will complain less of my weakness and know that it can and does lead to strength.

How to Survive with Cancer

If there's one time we wish our words of encouragement could benefit someone, it's when they are most in need for them. But I find myself almost wordless when it comes to comforting a good friend who just got diagnosed with cancer. Before my parents both died of cancer, the word "cancer" was just another word. It's only when you or a loved one has the dreaded disease that the full meaning hits you like a ton of bricks.

My friend is deaf and a single mother, which hasn't made for an easy life. Only God knows why this diagnosis was given to someone who has already seen her share of life's heartaches. One has to ask, why this and why now?

I don't know how she will be given the strength to come through this ordeal, but I do believe that God has a plan for her life, and when she has turned her life over to God, something good will eventually be seen through this trial. I do pray for her to develop this kind of trust in God, because the real cancer survivors aren't just the ones who live through it, but the ones who don't give in to fear and instead place their faith and trust in God. Theoretically then, anyone can "survive" cancer, with God.