Walking a Mile in His Shoes

I should have known last week, when Dean insisted on buying himself a pair of tennis shoes, that he was serious about the annual one-mile Walk for Seniors that he signed up for. I've known for awhile that his chore provider, who told us about the walk, and who has been encouraging him to walk and exercise in preparation for it, would not be able to accompany him next Friday, the day of the Walk. And I also knew that our daughter babysits on Friday and would not be able to be his "walking buddy".

Since I'm his "buddy" for so much of life already, I just assumed that it would fall on me to be with him that day. For weeks, I've pictured myself walking by his side, looking for obstacles that he might trip on, making sure he didn't get confused about where he was or how many laps he'd taken, and being there to calm him down if he got frustrated about anything.

All of that I'm pretty good at. But then it dawned on me that the one thing I'm not good at is WALKING A MILE! Even though we'd be going at a snail's pace, I'd be out of breath after the first 30 seconds of walking. I shudder to think how winded I'd be at the end, even with my portable oxygen tank. It would look like I'd just run a 25-mi. marathon without stopping.

So, I broke down a few days ago and asked for help, something we caregivers are most reluctant to do. One of our pastors readily agreed to accompany Dean on the Walk. It's such a relief to know that Dean will be in able hands that day. I can kick back and enjoy the morning. I have to admit I was not looking forward to the dreaded task of walking with him.

Someone else has promised me much needed rest too, a time to kick back. Jesus said, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." He says to take His yoke. Of course, I can't do that without putting my own yokes and burdens down first. Lord, help me not hesitate to take you up on this offer for help. I need to quit thinking it all depends on me, when actually none of it does. It's your yoke I want to wear. Mine is much too heavy. I get out of breath just thinking about it!

Caregiving Etiquette

Finally Dean got to use his Burger King gift card he got for Christmas. We went there for supper today and ate in the BK dining room. Not just drive-thru for this fast-food special occasion. It was a good time to be there, just before the supper rush, and it appeared we were the only customers for awhile at least.

We made our food choices, and Dean was trying to count out the exact change from a handful of coins in his hand. He was starting to get a bit frustrated with the effort it was taking. So I appealed to him to let me get the coins for the cashier, since there were now people behind us waiting in line. He relented and we then proceeded to find a table with our food.

Dean, of course, had his usual large Coke under control, I thought, until he set it down by the tray of food on the table and then knocked it over with his hand, spilling most of the contents, on the table, on the chair, on the floor, and on himself.

With a bit of embarrassment I informed the cashier that we had a rather major mishap, involving Coke spillage at our table. He was so polite and understanding about taking care of it. I hoped it wasn't just an outward showing of customer service etiquette he was forced to adhere to, but that it was evidence of a sincere compassion on two senior citizens, who were just doing the best they could.

I hope I can exemplify this in my life as well. I pray that my patient and loving behavior doesn't become just an outward showing of caregiving etiquette that I'm forced to adhere to, but that it stems from an overflow of loving patience that my heavenly Father has exhibited toward me, and continues to show each and every day of my life.

Old Computers

Not sure if my blogposts have been missed the last couple of days. But I've sure missed doing them. The problem is my laptop gave out on me and I'm waiting for someone to check the cooling system (i.e. the fan) to see if it needs replaced or what. Not wanting to use it for fear of overheating.

I'm resorting to plogging away with a clunky, old desktop to write this post. I can definitely type faster than this thing can think. But it's better than nothing, so I'll make the attempt. I'm sure it will get the job done, but with less speed and agility.

To be honest, that's pretty similar to how I work these days. With less speed and agility. Anyone who's experienced shortness of breath can understand my plight. Walking across the room and I sound like I've just come in from a mile-long jog around the neighborhood. And please don't let my body get too close to the floor (besides my feet), because I am not very graceful getting to a prone position from that depth.

I have just talked myself into a new appreciation of this old computer. Even my husband, with his dementia issues, can still get some jobs done. I need to tell him so more often. If nothing, he keeps ME going, because of the activity his caregiving requires. I need the exercise to stay strong.

Maybe I'll use this old computer more often. Praying all the while that God will also use me...til I'm all used up.

Fitting In

I had to make a trip to our neighborhood senior center today to sign up for fresh, local produce coupons at farmers' markets this summer. I've done this for several years now and each time I feel so young, compared to the other seniors when I go in there to apply. It's not a pleasant thought to know that I'm the one who qualifies as the senior citizen now, and not just my husband. He's five years older than I am. I don't have to apply for him as his proxy any more. But I still feel uncomfortable just the same.

Feeling out of place like that made me think of heaven. I've heard it said that everyone will go to heaven...everyone who would be happy there. Hopefully, I wouldn't feel out of place or uncomfortable in heaven. That's what our preparation is for here on earth. Living the Christian lifestyle doesn't just make us good witnesses to those around us. It is also our practice for the kind of living that happens in our heavenly home.

The sensual pleasures and worldly entertainment we enjoy here on earth will not be found in heaven. Would I be bored there? How will I fit in? How can I find joy in the presence of angels, if my actions here make them veil their faces? I pray the Lord shows me now what "things" I can and cannot take with me when I enter that glorious land. I really do want to fit in.