As Oft...In Remembrance of Me

This week at church we had communion, which is a practice held in common with most Protestant churches. Our denomination holds this special service quarterly, and is a reverent, symbolic portrayal of the last supper of Jesus and His disciples in the upper room, right before His betrayal and death on the cross.

Dean was excited when I told him about it happening today, and said he was looking forward to celebrating it with a pastor or elder this afternoon, as they have started doing for him and other homebound members, since he stopped attending church about a year ago.

As with several church denominations, our communion, or partaking of the bread and "wine", is open to all Christians who may be attending. Since Jesus wanted us all to be as one, we welcome all who choose to share in this celebration of the death of Christ.

We also encourage soul searching prior to receiving the emblems, and this is done in a very demonstrative way in Seventh-day Adventist churches. We offer a footwashing ceremony, or service of humility, as it's been called in other churches of long ago. In this simple practice, we are admonished to put away all past differences among ourselves and to serve each other in the most humble way. The way that Jesus demonstrated for us and even told us to do, in remembrance of Him. With a towel about His waist, our Savior humbly bowed before each of the disciples and washed their feet too.

Just as the un-fermented bread and un-fermented wine, symbolic of being without sin, are done in His remembrance, we humbly bow before another church member, and with basin and towel in hand in a smaller room outside the sanctuary, wash each other's feet, and offer prayer together.

Recalling the service today, I too am excited about getting a "repeat performance" when the pastor or elder arrives this afternoon. "As oft as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do show the Lord's death till he come." I Cor. 11:26

Showing Your Thanks

I'm amazed and grateful for what different families bring to the Thanksgiving table and to the event itself. We are all brought up having holidays a certain way, but then we get married and find ourselves shocked that not everyone celebrates the same way.

For instance, when I was first married, I found out that not everyone had homemade noodles and ambrosia on their meal menu. But it was also a shock to discover how much more taste is packed into sweet potatoes, when they don't come out of a can. And the same for cranberries. I found out how easily you could make your own whole berry sauce and how actually divine it would taste with a small dollop of real whipped cream. These additions came from Dean's family, where we spent most of our holidays in the first years of our marriage.

Now that our daughter is married and we have been attending their larger festivities, I am learning other wonderful things about Thanksgiving. As much as a linen tablecloth, your best dishes, and even cloth napkins make it a special feast, the food tastes just as good, no matter what it's served on. As a matter of fact, it's rather nice to have the attention drawn to the people sitting at the table, rather than the table itself.

I can see from these observations that our church family will grow and get better, when we all bring our best to the table too and learn and adapt new and better ways to serve God. Let's keep that in mind as we approach His throne with thanksgiving this season. Show God your thanks by your offerings of service to Him.

whipped cream, cranberries sauce, and fruit salad (what a delicious combination!)

Remembering the Best

For a man who can't remember if he just had dinner five minutes before, my husband has remembered all week that we discussed going to church today. So I couldn't deny him the opportunity to attend the early service at the large college church this morning. I purposely only mentioned it that one time and waited to see if he would remember our conversation.

He mentioned it last night again for the first time in many days since we first discussed it, so I knew we would be going. I just couldn't deny him something that he has missed so much. Church attendance with him has proven very stressful for me in the recent past, and he has basically stopped attending our home church because of it.

But he wore his dress pants, street shoes, even tucked his shirt in today, like I requested. As a matter of fact, he was on his best behavior the whole time. We got there just as the service started, and left immediately afterward in order to meet the bath aide who was to arrive at the house at eleven o'clock. I, for one, breathed a sigh of relief when we pulled back into our driveway at home. All potential disasters averted.

What thrilled me the most though was the fact that he remembered that we talked about attending church today. For a man who forgets almost everything, even important things like food, it shows where his priorities lie. There is a portion of Dean's brain that isn't damaged or showing signs of old age. And that is his desire to worship God.

Oh, that we all had that priority straight in our lives. Forgetting all else, let's all remember God.

Walking the Talk

After what is usually an exhausting day for Dean at his adult day program, our chore provider called about coming over yesterday and going for a walk with him in the afternoon, since the weather was so nice. She can get him to walk longer and farther than I or any of our family members. They ended up going all the way around the block. His only comment after she left was, "She's got more stories to tell than I do!" That's saying a lot for our family storytelling guru named "Dean or Idaho".

Sometimes it also takes a totally new person to reach others for Christ. What may not be working for us in witnessing may work just fine if someone else were to say the same things. It must be because our different personalities complement each other. And that's why a whole church is a better witness for a community than just an individual here and there.

I plan on going to church this morning. Help me, Lord, to find a way to serve, as well as a way to praise you, while I'm there. Because others need a "walk around the block" with You too.

Candy Night for Dean

Finally some people have been coming to our door tonight to trick-or-treat. I debated whether or not to invite trick-or-treaters to the house this year by leaving the porch light on. But so far, the only problem is keeping Dean out of the candy. Having the dog in the bedroom, so her yapping along with the doorbell doesn't drive him to distraction, has helped.

I went earlier to our church to help with the Halloween event they had there called Light up the Dark, but let them know I would have to be home by dark, in case trick-or-treaters came to our house. Didn't want Dean going to the door on his own. I'm not big on celebrating Halloween, you understand. (See my blogpost on Halloween last year.) But the event at our church tonight was pretty special. It was a chance for children to hear Bible stories, and I'm sure some of them in the community don't get to hear them very often.

I'm glad I arranged for Dean to partake in Halloween at home though. He loves children and doesn't get to be around them much lately. The logistics were hard though. I had to hide the candy all week. And then make sure he was clothed properly when the kids showed up. And figure out what to do about the dog. But it has come together pretty nicely. After the one bag of candy is gone, I'll just turn out the light. Certainly don't want a lot of leftover candy sitting around. Not that it would sit long with Dean on the prowl for it.

Dean has often quoted the Bible where it says we must become like little children. And he says he's working full-time on that. Just hoping next year, Dean won't want to be going out trick-or-treating himself! I think I'll work on a list of friends with candy we can "visit" that night, just in case. Any takers?

King Nebuchanezzar, about to order the 3 Hebrews thrown into the fiery furnace. This young man, dressed up like a king, did an excellent job telling that story tonight!

Scrambled Eggs on the Floor

I was getting ready for church this morning when Dean asked me what I was fixing him for breakfast. When I said steel-cut oatmeal (which just needed heated up), he said he wanted to fix himself some scrambled eggs instead. Knowing I wouldn't be leaving for a little while, I said for him to go ahead then and do the eggs himself.

That's when disaster struck. As he was taking the eggs out of the refrigerator, the carton, almost full of eggs, made a nosedive out of his hands and onto the floor. What a mess! I don't know what he would have done, if I hadn't been there to clean up the gooey remains. I managed to salvage five or six cracked eggs, which I broke into a frying pan for him to start scrambling for us both to eat. Then I threw out or mopped up the rest of the eggs.

He felt bad enough already, so I refrained from yelling at him for his carelessness. (Wish I had that much patience when I was a young mother.) But then Dean, halfway serious, told me it was really MY fault, since I had told him to fix his own breakfast.

When trials come, do I tend to point my finger at God, even a little too? Even though God has given me freedom to choose, and all the basic necessities of life, I still want to throw the blame onto Him, because He's supposed to be in charge. I hope I can remember that it's our loving, patient God, after all, who cleans up the messes I've pretty much made on my own. Even the accidental ones.

Choices

Today was a day of small victories on the caregiving front. I finally talked my husband into getting his Meals on Wheels changed to vegetarian. I hope he likes the meals, but he decided he'd try it with the caveat that he could have it changed if he becomes dissatisfied with the new menu items. He grew up in a vegetarian family, and only took up meat-eating as an adult. It's just that change comes so hard for him with his dementia.

After talking with the dietician, I think Dean will be pleased with the offerings they have developed. We got a letter in the mail about some changes with the Meals program. They are attempting to make modifications to comply with the new guidelines of "My Plate", which has replaced the former "Food Pyramid". I think there will be a demand for healthier fare in the future, as more people are becoming aware of the importance of healthy eating choices in combating many of the diseases of our Western diet.

People sometimes wonder why I have been a vegetarian for so many years. It wasn't the hippie, love-the-animals movement of the 60s, the environmental consciousness of the 70s and 80s, or the health-conscious, jogging, exercise gym freaks of the 90s that sold me on the idea. Although I see merit in all those concerns.

My Seventh-day Adventist religion has been encouraging vegetarianism for well over a hundred years now. Through my church's influence, I have therefore come to the conclusion that we owe it to our Creator God to take care of our bodies so we can better serve Him. It's a personal choice we all make, and is not at all a mandate for church membership. But for me, the choice I made when I was 21 was not difficult. It was based on love for God and a desire to serve Him as well and as long as possible.

Please don't get the impression that my diet is perfect though. With vegans now on the scene, I continue to strive to eat as healthy as I can. I can't blame dementia on my unwillingness to change, now can I?

Here's a couple of "My Plate" suppers in the Thompson household.

Peas and carrots, sweet potatoes (sweetened with pineapple)

rice and stir-fry

The Dentist

Last week I accompanied my daughter to the dentist's office for a checkup for my two granddaughters. It was a very kid-friendly dentist, so both girls, just 2 and 4, were allowed to sit in small dentist chairs in the same room, just a few feet from each other, with a TV screen to occupy their minds. I'm sure this was to help reduce the anxiety and fear that small children feel at the dentist.

When it was found that Jenna, the oldest, would require some follow-up work, I overheard the dentist telling her momma not to overburden her with the details of the procedures, even though he explained to my daughter just what would transpire on their next visit. The dentist himself would fill her in on just what was going to happen when they arrived for their next appointment. Once again the fear and anxiety factor was taken into account, even in how information was given to these pint-sized patients.

Our heavenly Father is just as mindful of our potential fears about what will happen at the end of time. As these troublesome events approach, He admonishes us to press together, just as sheep in a flock will do when a predator is near. And He is careful to give us just enough information through the prophets as we need to make it through the hard times. We, as children ourselves, would be much too fearful if we knew all the details too soon. But He will tell us just what we need to know, when we need to know it. I'm glad we live in a people-friendly world. God, like a kid-friendly dentist, will do all He can for His children.

Serve Me NOW

This morning when I got to church I went straight to my granddaughter's Sabbath School class to let the leader there know that I would be willing to tell the Bible story with the felts as part of their program. He had asked me a couple of weeks ago if I was interested in doing that, and I wasn't sure then. But after some thought and prayer, it made sense to go ahead and accept the invitation, thinking they would add me to their schedule for some future week.

Well, the leader was a substitute today and she asked if I would like to do it TODAY. Not quite prepared to be used so soon, I agreed and busily started pulling out the felts and looking over the story. I didn't notice till it was almost time for my story that my granddaughter had slipped into class a little late. For once she sat up right close to me, her teacher, instead of sitting on the fringes like she usually does. She looked so happy to see her grandma telling the story.

Not only that, but a little girl I didn't even know grinned at me during the fellowship meal later, and said I was her teacher. It was such a good, familiar feeling to be recognized by the children in church again. I have missed that since retiring from being a school librarian.

From this experience, I've learned that when God calls us to do something, even with just a simple request from a church member like I was given, don't hesitate to say yes. God doesn't call the prepared. He calls the willing. And you might be needed sooner than you think!

Jenna in red--last year's Christmas program--love them all!

A Caregiving Team

Today I discovered that my chore provider, helping me with Dean, is also going to be helping me! Of course, my biggest chore is taking Dean places, which I have come to really detest and avoid, when possible. An ex-truck driver, who feels his wife, at least, still needs driving instruction after almost 40 years, is not my idea of an ideal passenger. Neither of us are at our best by the time we arrive at our destination. So getting some more assistance with getting Dean out or just away from his recliner will be nice.

She will also be providing us with some needed housekeeping chores. Some of those deep cleaning tasks that I'm not so good at since my pulmonary failure six years ago. Dusting and getting cobwebs, cleaning the tub and floors, and just anything that requires a lot of bending over will be welcome help too.

I've thought of myself as Dean's sole caregiver up until about a year ago, but that just isn't true any more. With nurses and bath aides and now chore providers coming in and out of our lives, I'm now just part of the team. But it's nice to know that my caregiving teammates are looking out for me too.

I think this is also how God wants our church teams to function. We work as a team to keep each other spiritually uplifted and growing in the Lord. All of us need caregiving from each other and need to become involved in each others' lives as much as possible.

I'm glad there are so many people in my life who care enough to get involved. It keeps me going. And that keeps Dean going.

Ice Cream Toppings

Dean and I thoroughly enjoyed a musical program this evening at the small church of our in-laws that we have attended on occasion. Dean seems to fit in with this smaller congregation better than our larger home church right now. He misses fellowship with other Christians so much. So I do appreciate the warm welcome we felt in God's house tonight.

And one of the sweetest parts was the ice cream they shared with us afterward. A regular old-fashioned ice cream church social. Served with all the toppings.

The Lord's blessings to us are so sweet. We not only get the basic two scoops in a bowl, but our gracious God showers us with all the "toppings". He isn't stingy in the least. Just look around at all the beautiful nature He has created for our enjoyment. That's one blessing we can all enjoy. Like the toppings on ice cream or the icing on the cake. Not needed, but oh, so welcome.

Early or Late?

Dean's "Meals on Wheels" dinner had not arrived when I got home from church today. At least it appeared that it hadn't arrived. Either it had arrived and he forgot he ate it, which was a possibility. Or they neglected to bring it. I was almost ready to call to find out because it had never come that late before, when the doorbell rang.

There was his meal delivered by a totally new person, who apologized that we were last on the list. He said it was his first time to deliver, and he discovered that he had started from the wrong end of the list. So, Dean's lunch which usually comes on the early side, first on the route, came last, rather late. We were still happy to see it, even though it needed a bit of warming in the microwave.

Whether we come to the Lord's table early in life or late, it doesn't matter. It's nice when you're early. You are nice and hot, ready for service. But those who are there late are welcomed with open arms too, even though you might need a bit of warming up, in order to be ready for service.

The important thing is to just come. Someone is waiting for you, hungering for the Bread of Life.

Camera Shy

Today I was asked to read the Scripture passage before the sermon at church. So at the appropriate time, right before the services, I went to the "pastor's room" in the front of church, where others, who were having a part in the service, meet for prayer. I was told that I could sit up front on the podium or in the front pew and just come up from there to read it.

After seeing in the bulletin where the Scripture reading fit in, the last of all the preliminaries before the sermon, I chose to sit on the front pew. I remembered the videos that are taken of the services (Dean gets one every week to watch at home), and wasn't too keen on being in the spotlight up front for that long, being videotaped.

While I was sitting on that pew though, I started to think about my reluctance to be in front of the camera. I thought that I really shouldn't mind it. Aren't we all being recorded in the books of heaven, everything we say and do? That won't be just an audio recording. I'm sure it will include video footage of some kind as well.

If God is living in me, I should not be camera shy. "Let your light so shine before men, that they will see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." Matthew 5:16 Remembering that Jesus is the Light, I can humbly take my assigned place and let the cameras roll.

Holding on to Holding Hands

Once again, I went to church alone today. It does seem different without my husband sitting by my side. When we pray, Dean used to reach over to hold my hand and of course, I miss that. That and his booming voice during the hymn singing. There even seems to be less Amens without Dean's fervent ones ringing out. Church just isn't the same without him. Even though for some, it might be less scary, and for me, less stressful, due to his dementia.

Years ago when Dean and I were talking about our engagement while I was in college, I mentioned to him that his proposal was such a surprise to me because, up to that point, he hadn't even held my hand. He reminded me that he most certainly had held hands with me. It was during prayer! Well, who would have thought that would have counted? I stood corrected.

Thirty-six years ago I married this wild cowboy from Idaho. His hands were calloused and so masculine back then. I did remember holding hands the first time we went to church after his accident twelve years ago. When I took his hand during prayer that day, I noticed how soft and smooth it was, and almost cried. It was like holding the hand of a stranger.

The cowboy had changed. But he's still pretty wild. And I'm still glad I married him.

Vacation Bible School

I loved taking my granddaughter to Vacation Bible School tonight. She's just turning four this month, and it brought back so many memories of my daughter attending VBS in years past. She attended very young, because I always volunteered to help or teach a class. But her first Vacation Bible School that she attended by herself was in a very small town we lived in, called Roberts, Idaho.

It was hosted by a little non-denominational church there and I'll never forget how one of the adults came to me when I picked her up and said that she was the first one out of her seat to come to the front when they made a call for who wanted to be saved. It was a treasured memory I have kept all these years. My daughter's first public testimony of her faith. She had been through a lot in her short five years. And she didn't hesitate to answer God's call to be saved. I'd like to think that my training had laid some groundwork for the event.

We underestimate the power of God's working on very young souls. Parents should never miss an opportunity to bring their children to Jesus, both at home during family worships and at church. You never know when the message will hit home and cause them to connect with their Lord and Savior. The kind of connection that will sustain them for their whole lifetime.

Longing to Belong

Our pastor had a great sermon this morning about three things every church must be careful about getting in the right order. First, people who attend must feel they belong. Then, we have the opportunity to share our beliefs with them. And finally, we will see behaviors and lifestyles change. He called them the three B's--belong, believe, and behave. And the order is important.

The pastor emphasized that belonging will happen only as we are accepting of everyone who walks in the church's door. No one should be turned away because of dress or demeanor. Everyone should be made to feel welcome.

As the church's disability awareness person and the wife of a man who has a brain injury and dementia, I pray that our acceptance and patience extends to ALL who worship with us, not just the new person attending the first time. I'm talking about anyone who doesn't fit into our mold of normalcy. Either because of a physically or mentally challenging condition, or someone without the finances or social standing that we are comfortable with.

As a matter of fact, the one sure way of making a visitor feel welcome in our midst is by his observing how we treat those individuals who are different from the norm. How do we measure up in our loving the unlovable, now matter how long they've been attending church? Let's make sure we've made ALL our members feel they belong, and then accepting the new ones will come easy.

We All Sacrifice

At least two milestones touched me today. First, this is my 200th blog post. Working on a year's worth. At least that's my goal. And I'm enjoying them very much.

But there was another event that topped even that. Dean let our nephew trim his mustache today! Aside from just a couple of snips, I don't think it's seen a pair of scissors for over a year now. Needless to say, I'm ecstatic with his new civilized look.

He and I went to a church meeting tonight. The first in a long time. Just testing the waters...

Thanks, babe. I know you did it for me. That's what sacrifice is all about.

The Big Tease

I found out today that my doctor is a big tease. He told me three weeks ago that my foot should take six weeks to heal and that maybe I could throw away my "boot" by then. Well, today was the end of six weeks, but he said at my appointment that it wouldn't hurt to keep the "boot" on two more weeks. I'm tired of this moon-walking hobble. It will be so nice to walk like normal again.

Like so many other things in our life, we don't know what we're missing until we do without it. Who would have guessed that one little foot not operating would affect so many areas of my life.

The church of Christ is referred to as the body of Christ. This emphasizes how much each of the members is needed to make the church function properly. When we fail to do our part, others have to take up the slack. No wonder it's taking so long for the gospel to be spread to the whole world. Jesus is waiting for us to get our act together and start behaving like one unified body.

For now, I'll just have to lace up and wear the dreaded "boot" and pray for continued healing. That's about all we can do in our churches too. Work with what we've got and pray for strength to make it to the end.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

What a fun time we had with family and friends today. I was a bit worried about how my husband would handle six adults and four kids, all toddlers, for Sabbath dinner, but he was admirably well-behaved through it all.

Another worry today was the weather. We were under a thunderstorm and tornado watch most of the day. And we have no basement. It really was storming it up right after church when people started arriving at our house. But all we have had out of it so far has been some heavy rain.

I worried about not being able to write this blog tonight, but it appears I can master that one too. Except that I'm getting sleepy. Didn't get my usual nap in today.

Main lesson from today for me. Don't worry for nothing. Let God handle your life, but also your stresses. I used to worry about being a worrier. Trust is a good antidote for that.

What Families Do

Dad. Uncle. Brother-in-law. The man who's coming for a last-minute visit this weekend will find many family members vying for his attention. We are looking forward to his advice (as Dad), his teasing (as Uncle), and his handyman expertise (as brother-in-law). He will be one busy man, but I gather he's looking forward to the adventure too with his boring assignment in Kansas City looming in front of him for a few more weeks.

That's what families do though. They help each other. They receive help from each other. And no one keeps count. That's how it should be in our churches too. Church is another support system to rely on. And so important, especially if your biological family lives far away. I don't see how people can live without them. It keeps you from being too invested in yourself or even your own immediate family. We are made to mingle. And God gave us a whole day every week to do it. Let your next Sabbath be about family.