Oh, Happy Day!

 Today is one of the four times out of the year that I remember my husband Dean in a very purposeful way. In June, there's our wedding anniversary. Then September holds the day he suffered a traumatic brain injury from a tractor accident, inspiring me to start this blog about caregiving. Obviously not nearly as pleasant a memory with that date. But December is the month of his birthday--a happy time for most people. (Although this past December, I was battling gallstones--so it took some fun out of my life for a bit there.)

This Groundhog Day, February 2, brings me back to another sad time though. It was the day Dean (or Idaho, as some people knew him) passed away in 2018. What these dates are showing me is that our lives are filled with a mixture of happiness and sorrow.

It make me long for the time when only happiness and joy will fill all our days. The Bible says in Revelation 21:4 that for those in heaven "God will wipe away every year from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying." Every day will be a happy day!!! I can't wait for that one!

Save a Life! Give Blood!

September 1, 1999 is a day that is stamped on my memory forever. It was Labor Day weekend when I received a phone call that my husband was in the hospital as the result of a serious tractor accident and was in a hospital in Des Moines, Iowa.

My daughter and I raced to the hospital and found him there in critical condition with the very real possibility on not living through the night.

Little did I know that I would spend the next nineteen years of my life as his caregiver. Most of his injuries healed, but the brain injury he sustained left him with life-changing symptoms that greatly impacted my daughter and I..

During that first week in the ICU, we were told that since Labor Day and the typical increase of car accidents that are seen during all holidays, there was a shortage of blood at the blood bank. All our family who had come to support us immediately went to the nearest donation center and gave our blood. I'm sure it saved many lives, and it just felt like the right thing to do.

I hope you will keep this shortage of blood donations in mind throughout the year and give blood to save others. Isn't this what Jesus did for us? Be like Jesus!

Another Anchor Date--Our Anniversary

 June 6, 1976, was a date which my husband liked. He thought it would be easy to remember our wedding anniversary, because it was a date close to being 666 (a familiar number in the Bible, if you know anything about Revelation).

There's been a lot in the news about D-day this year--the day in 1944, eighty years ago, when the Allied forces landed in Normandy, France, and so many soldiers died to free Europe from Nazi rule.

With so much turmoil going on in the world today, I may contemplate more soberly the deeper meaning of this day. History reminds us that even when things seem about as dark as they can get, there is always a victory waiting just around the corner.

In the case of Dean and I, the victory will be that blessed reunion when we meet Jesus in the sky at His Second Coming. My faith remains strong, as was Dean's, that God will win the war with Satan soon. Without that anchor, my life would be empty and miserable indeed.

Hooray for Groundhogs!

 Sometimes I don't know what to do with Groundhog Day. It's customary for people in the United States to pay attention to what a groundhog does on February 2nd. Whether he sees his shadow or not, coming out of his burrow, supposedly determines the timing of one of our most longed-for seasons. Namely, spring. Even though people joke about this old, Pennsylvania Dutch superstition, they continue to pretend there's true meteorological value in the custom.

I find myself thankful for Groundhog Day though for a different reason. It's a reminder of an important date, but most of all, an important man who I spent most of my life with. My husband, Dean, passed away on this colorful, memorable day in 2018, six years ago now.

It's not a day for me to celebrate, but certainly an opportunity to commemorate and cherish the best of memories about someone who had such an impact on my life.

Having just finished reading the book, "Man's Search for Meaning", by Viktor E. Frankl, I recognize instantly that although my life, before and after the caregiving years, wasn't perfect with Dean, he truly gave my life purpose and meaning, and for that I will always be thankful. God knew what He was doing, after all, in bringing our lives together.

my college graduation in the spring of 1976...the beginning of our "journey" together

He Took It to the Limit

 December 4th, which was Dean's birthday, caused me once again to wait for some inspiration that would allow me to write something about my late husband on his special day. Nothing came to mind, until I was in a dentist chair today, his birthday, waiting to get a temporary crown returned to its throne. It had fallen off unexpectedly the day after I was coronated.

Sitting there, I couldn't help listening to the background music playing in the dental office. The song that came on had been especially loved by Dean back in 1976, the year of our wedding. I hadn't paid a lot of attention to rock music in those years of my life, but apparently Dean had, and he was fond of the Eagles' song, "Take It to the Limit".

The words "So, put me on a highway, show me a sign..." and the rest, really summed up Dean's life up to that point, he told me back then. It spoke of his love of hitchhiking, but also the fact that he had been searching for a way to turn his life around.

I'd like to think he did that with me.

Four Days a Year That Anchor Me

 There seem to be four dates out of the year now that provide me with time for reflection, but also for centering my life on what really matters. And they all revolve around the man I was caregiver for, but who is peacefully resting in Christ now, waiting for His Second Coming, as we all are.

Dean's birthday was December 4th; then there's his date of passing, February 2nd, 2018. Two familiar bookend events in the winter--the beginning and end of his life on earth.

There are two other dates I can't overlook--June 6th (the beginning of our marriage) and September 1st (the date of Dean's tractor accident, which was somewhat an end to our life before the accident).

Beginnings and endings are the most significant parts of our lives, aren't they? What happens in between is so fleeting and short-lived. Not that our current situation doesn't matter, but it perhaps should not be our primary focus.

Beginnings make us thankful, and endings make us hopeful, both needed ingredients for a life of faith and joy. The only thing that really matters in the middle of these is the amount of God's love we are able to spread during the short time we're here.

Although today would have been our 47th wedding anniversary, I remembered that I met Dean in my senior year of college, in 1973, so it's actually been fifty years ago. An even sweeter way to remember today. Half a century. What's that compared to eternity? That's what really matters. So, you see why these four dates are important...

Graduating in 1973

Graduating in 1997

Too Painful for Words

 Too painful for words, but too helpful to be silent. Just two months ago, I remembered Dean on his birthday, and now I remember him again on his "death day". Both are dates that are seared into my memory for different, but similar reasons.

We used to celebrate Dean's birthday in December, because it was an event that brought life to a man I came to love for over forty years. Our marriage changed my life in ways I could not have imagined. At his death, five years ago now, my life has once again changed. I became a widow; but that hasn't been all bad.

The love we shared was not lost entirely. I've been able to channel it to sources that have brought me just as much satisfaction and joy as those blissful, but sometimes stormy, forty years of marriage.

God has blessed me with not only a daughter, but her husband and family, which includes two beautiful granddaughters.

In addition, the last half of these five, swift years have enabled me to reach out to my community in ways that weren't always available when I had Dean's care to consider after his tractor accident. The training brought about by his caregiving provided me with the stamina and determination to be a caregiver for my whole neighborhood.

For two and a half years now, I have daily re-stocked the shelves of a little free pantry in my front yard, trying to keep a close eye on the grocery needs of my neighbors and checking the pulse of the wider community, encouraging them to donate the vast amount of food it takes to feed those in need here.

Although the pandemic has kept me home more than I'd like, I feel greatly blessed that I have a place to call home. It would have been sweet to share all this with Dean, but I have great hopes and expectations that someday in our heavenly home I'll be able to do just that.

Oh, come, Lord Jesus, come! About that, I cannot be silent.