Who's Dependent?

I had my eyes opened last weekend when Dean and I stopped to get an ice cream cone at a drive-thru. I've learned to order his ice cream in a bowl, instead of a cone (he can't lick fast enough). The bowl comes with a spoon in a cellophane wrapper. After briefly trying to get the spoon free, he handed it to me to tear open. It suddenly dawned on me just how dependent he is, compared to how he was before the accident. It's very similar to being with my toddler granddaughters.

You have to understand that this was a man, who at one time could fix or build or do almost anything: from roofing a house, laying a carpet, cutting down a tree, to decorating a cake. That image of him briefly came to my mind that day, and tears welled up in my eyes at the reminder.

Then I thought about all the things around the house that he also struggles with and I usually end up doing: using the electric can opener, twisting off bread ties, opening milk cartons, replacing the toilet paper roll, emptying the trash. It isn't just about doing all the driving or helping him dress (shoes and socks are the hardest). No wonder I feel overwhelmed with having to do everything at home.

Dean's dependence has brought even more forcefully to me how dependent I am on God. Jesus told us in John 15:5, "...without me ye can do nothing". Caregiving does not make me feel independent, although it can make me feel I'm the one in control at times. I must remember, however, God is the one in control and I am totally dependent on Him.