Doubting the Caregiver

After returning from prayer meeting, I had two phone messages left from Dean. Both sounded desperate that I would be at the special holiday meal the next day that he'd just heard about. Of course, I had my reservation in quite awhile back and fully intend to eat this Christmas family meal with him at the care center, where he's residing.

This morning (very early, I might add), Dean called me twice again to express concern that I would be at the holiday meal, and that I even knew about it. I reassured him that it has been on my calendar all month, and that I would definitely see him in the afternoon before the meal.

He went on to say that I'm the only reason he hasn't been able to come home. He's so disliking where he's at, and is waiting for me to do something about it. He has stages where, between his brain injury and his "old age" dementia, there is just no reasoning with him about why he can't come home. He doesn't see that his health status has changed. That he CAN'T take care of himself, like he thinks he already does, etc., etc.

Anyway, after our phone conversations, where all I could do was try to reassure him that I love him and was doing all I could to get him "out of there", I got this sudden image of how our prayers must sometimes sound to God. We blame God for the places we're in. We can't understand why He's allowed us to stay on this old, sinful planet for so long. Is He really going to come for us and have that final "marriage supper" with us? And on and on.

God has tried to reason with us through the pages of the Bible, but our finite minds just can't comprehend what's going on behind the celestial scenes. Yes, our minds are in a demented state sometimes when it comes to wanting "out of here". Thank God, He's such a patient Caregiver and allows us our rants and doubting accusations. We must trust Him more and know that He truly does love us and is doing all He can to rescue us from our earthly "prisons".

Especially hard to do when you're in a place like Dean's!