Many times this past year, my friends have had unexpected, life-changing events, mostly that involved falling and breaking one bone or another in their bodies. Whether it was a wrist, shoulder, or leg, one doesn't miss those limbs until they can no longer be depended on to work properly, or at all.
But there are two things most of us fail to consider. Number one, that not every accident has a recovery date to look forward to. Losing a leg altogether is different than breaking it, for example. And number two, these episodes almost invariably affect other people in our lives, mostly family members, who have to carry the slack for the tasks we can no longer do.
This Labor Day weekend, and every Labor Day weekend, my family remembers an accident of my husband's that he never fully recovered from, and it impacted his loved ones in a powerful way. To the extent that we refer to life before the accident and after the accident, because there was such a major shift in how our family functioned after his TBI, or traumatic brain injury. In essence, we were all brain injury survivors after that all-important weekend. It may have been called Labor Day, but it was not a day that worked for us. It added to our labors in unimaginable ways.
Over the years, we were to discover that there were also benefits to be won in our struggle to survive. It strengthened us spiritually by not only drawing us closer to a higher power, but making us more aware of the trials of others and able to reach out to them in loving ways.
Would I change what happened if I could? Perhaps, and then perhaps, it was for the best. It is impossible to know how things might have otherwise worked out without Dean's accident. But for now, I am content that life happens, and we must go with the flow, no matter how high the waves toss and turn us about. Life happens...and then it goes on.
