Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Clean Closets

Since the start of this year I have updated my phone calling list and family budget plan, organized my addresses and contact information, documented all my account passwords, and started posting to a new calendar. I know these are just vague attempts to put some order and security into my life, because living with someone with brain injury, compounded by the effects of senile dementia, is propelling us very fast into a very disorganized and insecure world.

The extra time on my hands, due to staying at home more, has allowed me to clean out closets that hadn't been touched in years, and perform all my housekeeping chores with more ease.

But none of these accomplishments has contributed to the feelings of security and satisfaction that I had hoped they would. Dean's mental status is changing in small incremental ways, and it's disconcerting to both of us to know that it probably won't get any better. How much more can we take before we fall over the abyss and can't get up? It could happen almost any day.

Jesus is the only dependable part of our lives. Only He can bring order to my very insecure life right now. My efforts at organization are feeble compared to the One who organized our whole universe. He knows and remembers all my passwords, manages my finances, cares for all my contacts, and keeps me on His calendar every day. I need to start praying more in those clean closets of mine.

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